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Thread: Uses for Facebook

  1. #1
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    Uses for Facebook

    List your uses for Facebook:

    - Keep abreast of the going-ons of people in your circle without having to actually communicate with them.
    - Quick assessment of possible dalliances to rule out those with glaring warning signs (rants about ex-girlfriends, butchering of the English language, photos that make you cringe, incoherent political/social rants).
    - Satisfying curiosity about other specimens of the human race.

  2. #2
    a cantori Perdix's Avatar
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    - beginning a conversation with a new person I met in class.
    - it has decent business applications, you can choose your target audience eerily specifically.

  3. #3
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    Duckface photos. Photos of being engaged on the act of consuming various types of alcohol.

    I suppose you are talking about things I would do, and I can't give an answer, because I don't really use it any more, but I would say those two things keep Facebook going.
    Last edited by msg_v2; 05-03-2014 at 04:42 AM.

  4. #4
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    I hear that being on Facebook is the fastest track to being blessed. Getting my ass on there right fuckin now.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  5. #5
    <3 gator's Avatar
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    With facebook zero and a lot of their changes to edgerank the past several months I don't have a whole hell of a lot of use for facebook. I'm there because I need to be for work. I'm also there because it affects my klout score, which in turn makes me more attractive to particular potential employers. Other than that... stalking Starbuck, I guess.

  6. #6
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    Checking up on your kids (at least regarding what they're willing to let you see).

    Spying on old classmates so you don't have to attend class reunions.

  7. #7
    Now we know... Asteroids Champion ACow's Avatar
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    - lets me cut out the middleman and create a nice searchable database of all my details for government agencies
    - saves me the work of having to collect up and pass on my details to corporations and advertisers all by myself
    - gets my friends to advertise to me for FREE!
    - lets me experience the awkward juxtoposition between having hundreds of meaningless contacts or offending people by refusing to add them.
    - Now I can participate in "one-uping the joneses" with minimal effort!
    - I get to experience that perfect mix of wasting time, guilty pleasure, soul wrenching depression and the meaningless of most human life that I was previously only able to achieve via public masturbation.

    edit: jesus christ, i almost forgot the most important one. Lets me unload my SNARK on the internet by criticising it!

  8. #8
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACow View Post
    - I get to experience that perfect mix of wasting time, guilty pleasure, soul wrenching depression and the meaningless of most human life that I was previously only able to achieve via public masturbation.
    Ha! So fucking true.

  9. #9
    Tawaci ki a Gnaska ki Osito Polar's Avatar
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    I wouldn't pee on Facebook if it was on fire.

    That being said, good point gator about the klout score.
    "I don't have psychological problems." --Madrigal

    "When you write about shooting Polemarch in the head, that's more like a first-person view, like you're there looking down the sight of the gun." --Utisz

    David Wong, regarding Chicago
    Six centuries ago, the pre-Colombian natives who settled here named this region with a word which in their language means "the Mouth of Shadow". Later, the Iroquois who showed up and inexplicably slaughtered every man, woman and child renamed it "Seriously, Fuck that Place". When French explorer Jacques Marquette passed through the area he marked his map with a drawing of a brownish blob emerging from between the Devil's buttocks.

  10. #10
    Utisz's Avatar
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    - "The Social Network" was fairly entertaining.

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