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Thread: A Treatise on Inconsequential Actions in the Face of Certain Doom

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    DOA Space Invaders Champion Neville's Avatar
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    A Treatise on Inconsequential Actions in the Face of Certain Doom

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    It's the end of the semester, and many of my students are realizing all the shit they flung at the fan all semester long isn't going to magically turn into roses and soft feather pillows, and no one is going to tuck them in and make it all better.

    What's the difference between a child and an adult? When the shit hits the fan, children call adults to come fix everything.

    Oh, hello freshman bio students who skipped half your classes and forgot to do assignments and failed or missed exams months ago and just realized it...that's right, I'm treating you like adults. Ain't no one gonna handle your shit but you. And fyi, whining makes me feel violent.

    this is why I never talk to my professors. Imagine all that same shit but instead of a freshman a grad student. There's no way I come out of the conversation in a better position.

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    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neville View Post
    this is why I never talk to my professors. Imagine all that same shit but instead of a freshman a grad student. There's no way I come out of the conversation in a better position.
    If you skipped half your classes, didn't turn in an assignment or missed an exam and didn't realize it til a month later, slacked all semester long, and then went to your prof looking for an easy way out, the converse is true. There is no way you come out in a worse position. Which is probably why it is frequently the students with nothing to lose who always pester us. There are some profs out there who find it easier to cave than argue.

    I have a student with perfect attendance who never missed an assignment or a test and who must be out of town all of finals week for a mandatory job training and certification class. He explained his position as soon as he was aware of it, and I'm coming in on a Saturday to give him an early final and I am not even a little bit annoyed at him. We ended up having a great conversation about SCUBA diving when he came to talk to me about the impending issue.

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    DOA Space Invaders Champion Neville's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    If you skipped half your classes, didn't turn in an assignment or missed an exam and didn't realize it til a month later, slacked all semester long, and then went to your prof looking for an easy way out, the converse is true. There is no way you come out in a worse position. Which is probably why it is frequently the students with nothing to lose who always pester us. There are some profs out there who find it easier to cave than argue.
    I have a student with perfect attendance who never missed an assignment or a test and who must be out of town all of finals week for a mandatory job training and certification class. He explained his position as soon as he was aware of it, and I'm coming in on a Saturday to give him an early final and I am not even a little bit annoyed at him. We ended up having a great conversation about SCUBA diving when he came to talk to me about the impending issue.
    Well, yeah, if I had my shit together I wouldn't be in this position. Or if I had any explanation other than I'm a fuck up.

    Situation
    • missed first test of the quarter. 4/24 worth 15% of total grade
    • failed to go to class on 4/28 and 5/01
    • midterm on 5/05 worth 30% of the grade with a very significant chance that I'm going to tank it.
    • another test worth 15% and a final worth 40% loom on the horizon


    There's no spinning my massive fuck up.

    I wasn't off saving orphans, volunteering with old folks, or saving my sick parents. I sat in my car trying to control my anxiety.

    I mean, I could tell him I'm crazy but the moment you do that no one ever looks at you the same.

    You can come back from being a fuckup. You don't get to come back from crazy.

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    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
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    ^We've talked about this before. You're not crazy... Now, you are probably a fuck-up, the way most people would define fuck-up, but that's not a permanent problem necessarily. I have been a fuck-up many times before, and I'm still occasionally a fuck-up.

    Anyway, in a university setting, they are quite familiar with fuck-uppery, as well as mental health issues, so I think you're overestimating the stigma they'll attach to either one. In any case, the only thing that's truly screwing you over at the moment is your "oh well, it's too late, fuck it" attitude, because (at least in my experience) it's almost never "just not worth" trying to fix things. It all comes down to whether or not you feel like ponying up the effort to try to fix it.

    Several times in college, I blew things off and didn't fix it. I eventually still graduated, it just took longer. But I would have saved myself a shit-ton of grief if I had consciously removed my head from my ass in situations exactly like this, and just gone and asked for special consideration. When I eventually came back to fix stuff later, it was usually way too late for anyone to give a shit, so instead of graduating in 3 years it took me 4+.
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

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    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    ^We've talked about this before. You're not crazy... Now, you are probably a fuck-up, the way most people would define fuck-up, but that's not a permanent problem necessarily. I have been a fuck-up many times before, and I'm still occasionally a fuck-up.

    Anyway, in a university setting, they are quite familiar with fuck-uppery, as well as mental health issues, so I think you're overestimating the stigma they'll attach to either one. In any case, the only thing that's truly screwing you over at the moment is your "oh well, it's too late, fuck it" attitude, because (at least in my experience) it's almost never "just not worth" trying to fix things. It all comes down to whether or not you feel like ponying up the effort to try to fix it.

    Several times in college, I blew things off and didn't fix it. I eventually still graduated, it just took longer. But I would have saved myself a shit-ton of grief if I had consciously removed my head from my ass in situations exactly like this, and just gone and asked for special consideration. When I eventually came back to fix stuff later, it was usually way too late for anyone to give a shit, so instead of graduating in 3 years it took me 4+.
    Took me waaay longer than that. Failed out because I was a fuck up. Worked in a factory for a while. Got laid off and recalled a half dozen times. Went to fast food despite the smaller paycheck both for the stability and for their willingness to work with me schedule wise for classes as I attempted to pay for school myself on minimum wage because I fucked up my free ride. Moved from sublease to sublease trying to make ends meet...had to live with some truly common assholes in the process, discovered that the fire department reimbursed tuition in full for any employee as long as they got a 3.0 that semester, and went in hell bent to become a firefighter. Spent a summer in Rookie School, kicked ass, and after that I was home free.

    I'm one of those people who only learns from fucking up and paying for it. When you are your own worst enemy, it sucks to be a bad ass.

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    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    I respect that you are willing to own your fuck up instead of trying to spin it, but lets put this particular fuck up in perspective: as of the time you wrote this post, 85 percent of the grade was up for grabs. After today, 55 percent still up for grabs.

    I think you should downgrade this from a fuckup to an impending fuckup.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    Several times in college, I blew things off and didn't fix it.

    I once somehow got away with turning in papers at least two weeks after the end of the semester, and got b's in all of the classes, except for a c in Spanish.

    I was really into "question everything" mode, so had stopped taking Adderall at the time.

    I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that it's worth a shot. I think it helped in my case in that I participated a lot in the lectures.

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    DOA Space Invaders Champion Neville's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    ^We've talked about this before. You're not crazy...
    the prescriptions would suggest otherwise.

    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    Now, you are probably a fuck-up, the way most people would define fuck-up, but that's not a permanent problem necessarily. I have been a fuck-up many times before, and I'm still occasionally a fuck-up.
    I've never done anything but fuck up. I'm like Theon. I'm presented with countless choices and I always choose wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    Anyway, in a university setting, they are quite familiar with fuck-uppery, as well as mental health issues, so I think you're overestimating the stigma they'll attach to either one. In any case, the only thing that's truly screwing you over at the moment is your "oh well, it's too late, fuck it" attitude, because (at least in my experience) it's almost never "just not worth" trying to fix things. It all comes down to whether or not you feel like ponying up the effort to try to fix it.

    Several times in college, I blew things off and didn't fix it. I eventually still graduated, it just took longer. But I would have saved myself a shit-ton of grief if I had consciously removed my head from my ass in situations exactly like this, and just gone and asked for special consideration. When I eventually came back to fix stuff later, it was usually way too late for anyone to give a shit, so instead of graduating in 3 years it took me 4+.

    The biggest thing is I don't know what to say to him. Do I try something over email? Do I show up to office hours? Do I beg? Can I just print him out the above bullet points? The fuck do I say? Hey, dude, I fucked up can we work something out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    Took me waaay longer than that. Failed out because I was a fuck up. Worked in a factory for a while. Got laid off and recalled a half dozen times. Went to fast food despite the smaller paycheck both for the stability and for their willingness to work with me schedule wise for classes as I attempted to pay for school myself on minimum wage because I fucked up my free ride. Moved from sublease to sublease trying to make ends meet...had to live with some truly common assholes in the process, discovered that the fire department reimbursed tuition in full for any employee as long as they got a 3.0 that semester, and went in hell bent to become a firefighter. Spent a summer in Rookie School, kicked ass, and after that I was home free.

    I'm one of those people who only learns from fucking up and paying for it. When you are your own worst enemy, it sucks to be a bad ass.
    I, however, seem to be a person that never learns.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    I respect that you are willing to own your fuck up instead of trying to spin it, but lets put this particular fuck up in perspective: as of the time you wrote this post, 85 percent of the grade was up for grabs. After today, 55 percent still up for grabs.

    I think you should downgrade this from a fuckup to an impending fuckup.
    The odds of me getting that 55%.....come on. If I can somehow manage to get 5% tomorrow and that 55% that would give me a D which would technically be passing. Anything higher would be icing on the cake and give more breathing room. Not great odds though.



    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I once somehow got away with turning in papers at least two weeks after the end of the semester, and got b's in all of the classes, except for a c in Spanish.
    Yeah, but papers are bullshit.

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I was really into "question everything" mode, so had stopped taking Adderall at the time.
    yeeeaaah. I may have done something similar.

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that it's worth a shot.
    maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I think it helped in my case in that I participated a lot in the lectures.

    fuuuuck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neville View Post
    fuuuuck.
    It's worth a shot anyway.

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    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neville View Post
    The biggest thing is I don't know what to say to him. Do I try something over email? Do I show up to office hours? Do I beg? Can I just print him out the above bullet points? The fuck do I say? Hey, dude, I fucked up can we work something out?
    Office hours sounds like a good start. After all, the class is still ongoing, and 55% of your grade is still up for grabs. Showing up for office hours is totally normal. Then, I'd ask if he has a minute to chat privately (unless you're the only person there) - and when you do, just let him know that you've been having trouble. I don't think it's at all unreasonable for you to reference the mental health stuff - i.e. what you're doing to deal with it. He obviously doesn't want to hear a sob story. But he probably is receptive to hearing a student acknowledge some extra-curricular difficulties and ask for assistance in making up some of those lost points.

    The approach might yield a benefit, or he might say you're out of luck, but either way I see no possibility that it actually hurts you to ask. If it were me, I'd appreciate candor, directness, and a willingness to try.
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

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