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Thread: How do you calm down?

  1. #1
    Merry Christmas Blorg's Avatar
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    How do you calm down?

    from anxiety or anger or other strong emotions-- have you found any effective strategies?
    (besides drugs-- different topic.)

    For minor instances I've found that it works to focus on a neutral/emotionless body part, like a finger. This seems to work for as long as you can focus on the finger and then it returns.
    "Better not to feel too much until the crisis ends—and if it never ends, at least we’ll have suffered a little less, developed a useful dullness...The constant—and very real—fear of being hurt, the fear of death, of intolerable loss, or even of “mere” humiliation, leads each of us, the citizens and prisoners of the conflict, to dampen our own vitality, our emotional and intellectual range, and to cloak ourselves in more and more protective layers until we suffocate." - Toni Morrison

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    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    Taking walks - whether to calm down or not, I just love taking walks. Exercise will take the extra edge off when needed.
    I have certain music I listen to that will help settle my mind too.
    Stretching, and getting the oxygen flowing through the body and muscles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chobani View Post
    from anxiety or anger or other strong emotions-- have you found any effective strategies?
    (besides drugs-- different topic.)

    For minor instances I've found that it works to focus on a neutral/emotionless body part, like a finger. This seems to work for as long as you can focus on the finger and then it returns.
    I remove myself from whatever is fueling it. I step outside, or in the case of the internet, remove myself from the discussion. This might not get rid of the "charge" but it stops it from getting worse.

    Of course, IRL people claim it's "unfair" for me to do that, but those some people don't like it when I yell at them, and that is what happens if I stay there until I calm down. I don't owe anyone, I don't care how important they are to me, an immediate resolution, and yes, you are supposed to sit with that. If I do this, do not follow me into the next room, do not attempt to have a discussion with me. If it's at the point, I know from experience that the additional words I hear will only serve to infuriate me further. No resolution is possible at that particular time, so it is not in the other party's best interest, either, to insist upon it.

    With the internet, all I have to do is not make posts....

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    long jacket Iina's Avatar
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    Pick at the scab until it bleeds.
    Redirection doesn't work.

  5. #5
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    lately, i either sleep it off or stop myself and redirect my mind. you sorta learn to do that with mindfulness meditation, but it takes practice. once you find yourself thinking about stuff, you stop yourself and say "thinking." or something to that effect. you find your own way that works.

    another way-- trace the thought back to its source. it often dissolves into nothing.

    trying to not continue bad habits that perpetuate cycles of anxiety seems good & i'm working on that.

  6. #6
    Tawaci ki a Gnaska ki Osito Polar's Avatar
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    One way I calm down is just to lay down, close my eyes and empty my mind. Something between meditating and taking a nap. It works really well for me, though.

    Of course, sex also works wonders as long as your partner isn't part of whats stressing you out.
    "I don't have psychological problems." --Madrigal

    "When you write about shooting Polemarch in the head, that's more like a first-person view, like you're there looking down the sight of the gun." --Utisz

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    Six centuries ago, the pre-Colombian natives who settled here named this region with a word which in their language means "the Mouth of Shadow". Later, the Iroquois who showed up and inexplicably slaughtered every man, woman and child renamed it "Seriously, Fuck that Place". When French explorer Jacques Marquette passed through the area he marked his map with a drawing of a brownish blob emerging from between the Devil's buttocks.

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    <3 gator's Avatar
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    I write it out. I'll sit down at my computer, open a blank document and just start writing. Writing things down allows me to forget them. I do this every day. Sometimes nothing comes out of it. Other times I end up with a to do list, or a special resolution for myself, or perhaps I notice a pattern that I feel like I have to deal with.

    I tried to adopt a regular meditation practice but I've never managed to keep it up. I seem to be able to manage writing every day though.

    Either that or I'll rant at all of you.

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    MasturbatIion works just as well as sex, really, for stress relief. Sometimes better.
    Last edited by msg_v2; 05-09-2014 at 01:54 AM.

  9. #9
    Member Valkyrie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I remove myself from whatever is fueling it. I step outside, or in the case of the internet, remove myself from the discussion. This might not get rid of the "charge" but it stops it from getting worse.

    Of course, IRL people claim it's "unfair" for me to do that, but those some people don't like it when I yell at them, and that is what happens if I stay there until I calm down. I don't owe anyone, I don't care how important they are to me, an immediate resolution, and yes, you are supposed to sit with that. If I do this, do not follow me into the next room, do not attempt to have a discussion with me. If it's at the point, I know from experience that the additional words I hear will only serve to infuriate me further. No resolution is possible at that particular time, so it is not in the other party's best interest, either, to insist upon it.

    With the internet, all I have to do is not make posts....
    This is a carbon copy of how I deal with arguments if I've finally gotten heated up about whatever.
    I don't even want to think about how many times I've been race-walk chased from room to room around my entire house by exes that have that pathological need to re-engage.

    I don't know how they do it. I can't stand not being able to think straight.

  10. #10
    Sky Anvil Vison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valkyrie View Post
    This is a carbon copy of how I deal with arguments if I've finally gotten heated up about whatever.
    I don't even want to think about how many times I've been race-walk chased from room to room around my entire house by exes that have that pathological need to re-engage.

    I don't know how they do it. I can't stand not being able to think straight.
    This my prefered method as well. I loathe that form of re-engagement. It can go bad so many ways.


    I generally go for a walk or take a bath/shower. Usually doing some breathing/meditation excersizes at the same time. When I was younger I used to go for a round on my punching bag but I found that fostered a preference for physical/violent reactions.

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