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Thread: low self-esteem... other people

  1. #1
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    low self-esteem... other people

    How does someone interact with people like that? It seems like I'm either arrogant or condescending.

    Please don't mention "act natural" .... if that was working, I wouldn't be answering this question.

    Can you build up someone's self esteem? How?

    This kind of thing is what I would consider to be social intelligence, by the way.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Can you build up someone's self esteem? How?
    There's nothing you can do to build some else's self-esteem--this is something that comes from within. Regarding social intelligence, here is something that works: be kind, even to people who don't seem to deserve it (that is, others' actions shouldn't determine your behavior).

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    Goddamnit, I was afraid of that answer.

  4. #4
    creator kari's Avatar
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    Puff up your chest and yell as loud as possible, "WHAT ARE YOU, A WEAKLING?" This shows that you do not approve of their disposition and they will change their self-esteem accordingly.
    I fucking hate the cold! - Wim Hof

    Check out my art. https://www.instagram.com/karililt/

  5. #5
    wetback Space Invaders Champion Fitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kali View Post
    Puff up your chest and yell as loud as possible, "WHAT ARE YOU, A WEAKLING?" This shows that you do not approve of their disposition and they will change their self-esteem accordingly.
    someone should do this around the forum.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neville View Post
    someone should do this around the forum.
    I think people already have. And it worked spectacularly, every time.

  7. #7
    Scala Mountains Resonance's Avatar
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    I don't think there's one right way.

    My way is to just listen mostly, and occasionally hit them with logic when they manage to contradict themselves. Arguing them into a corner at that point seems to be an OK way to get them to stop running in circles of beating themselves up.

    This only works with people who are bright enough and honest enough to realize they've contradicted themselves, but if they're neither bright nor honest then what the fuck do I care about their self-esteem anyway.

    Sometimes I pepper with compliments, but I don't want to do that too often because adaptation. So you have to be careful when you do it. It has to be when they're willing to consider the possibility that they aren't as shit as they think they are.

    Ultimately it's just a matter of setting the occasion for them to figure it out for themselves.
    Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water. Water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Resonance View Post
    I don't think there's one right way.

    My way is to just listen mostly, and occasionally hit them with logic when they manage to contradict themselves. Arguing them into a corner at that point seems to be an OK way to get them to stop running in circles of beating themselves up.
    Hey, this sounds like good advice. It even uses logic.

    This only works with people who are bright enough and honest enough to realize they've contradicted themselves, but if they're neither bright nor honest then what the fuck do I care about their self-esteem anyway.
    Oh. I was thinking that it might make it easier to deal with some people, but the most egregious examples I can think of in a workplace environment are none of those. Damn. I wanted a magic solution.

  9. #9
    Senior Member skip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thevenin View Post
    be kind, even to people who don't seem to deserve it (that is, others' actions shouldn't determine your behavior).
    Someone should do this around the forum.
    Yes, I smell like a horse. No, I don't consider that a problem.

  10. #10
    Vacantly Occupied rincon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I think people already have. And it worked spectacularly, every time.
    Where's Hustler when you need her?

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