View Poll Results: How do you feel about your birthday?

Voters
16. You may not vote on this poll
  • Party Hats!

    2 12.50%
  • Stay the fuck away from me, I don't want your inauthenticity.

    6 37.50%
  • I'm fine with getting presents, so long as I don't have to give you any on your birthday.

    6 37.50%
  • It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!

    2 12.50%
Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33

Thread: Birthday

  1. #1
    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
    Type
    ENTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,708

    Birthday

    I hate celebrating my birthday, and it's coming up.

    I hate people feeling obligated to give me credit for something unremarkable and arbitrary. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean you need to say empty words, or buy me a drink. I don't deserve to be treated any better on my birthday than any other day of the year. When I am, it makes me feel bad about myself, because it feels phony and asked for.

    Any other day of the year, I feel good about my interactions with friends, family, loved ones, because I feel like the good vibes that come from those interactions are genuine. But on my birthday, everything seems unreal.

    It's also another year older, another section of a finite existence gone forever. It underscores the gap between what I want and what I have, it reminds me of my failings.

    How do you feel about your birthdays? Do you embrace them as a celebration? Do you have regrets? Do you look forward to presents? What say you?
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

  2. #2
    a cantori Perdix's Avatar
    Type
    INTj
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    the deep end
    Posts
    2,428
    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    How do you feel about your birthdays? Do you embrace them as a celebration? Do you have regrets? Do you look forward to presents? What say you?
    I don't tell people my birthdate.

    On my last I threw a small pool party with six friends, tons of alcohol and drugs, music and food. I never told them it was my birthday, and everything went amazingly well. As ideal as it gets.

  3. #3
    yeah same here. I don't tell anybody. I don't want surprise parties or the obligation that comes with exchanging gifts. I'll buy somebody a drink if I'm out with them and it happens to be their bday no strings attached.

  4. #4
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1,141
    I don't like surprises. I like to plan my own day with others.

    I feel like my birthday is an official "lethe-day" my own holiday. A consolation prize for getting older. In the same way an anniversary means more than valentines day. MY day, to be spent how I choose. I don't care for gifts or cards: that feels weird and obligatory. I see it as a nice excuse to fill the day with fun activities, rich food, and people I like - all of us celebrating everything we think is good about the year.


    P.S. - I will say ALL holidays and birthdays became significantly more fun when my family friends and I all agreed to (and stuck with) a strict no-obligatory-gift pact. We only give gifts when we find them, organic and spontaneous. Trust me, your holiday spirit will bounce right back when you remove the pressure and responsibility.

  5. #5
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    shrubland
    Posts
    8,661
    i enjoy it when other people tell me how much they love and appreciate me, and i like going out and having cake, so i like my birthday as an excuse to be self-centered and do fun things, basically, but it doesn't mean anything more to me. i have a feeling i'll hate them more as i get older, though.

    i think i had one birthday party in my entire life and it wasn't organized by me. i'll never want a birthday party. parties are nightmares.

  6. #6
    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
    Type
    ENTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,708
    Quote Originally Posted by lethe View Post
    P.S. - I will say ALL holidays and birthdays became significantly more fun when my family friends and I all agreed to (and stuck with) a strict no-obligatory-gift pact. We only give gifts when we find them, organic and spontaneous. Trust me, your holiday spirit will bounce right back when you remove the pressure and responsibility.
    I couldn't agree more with this sentiment, but you've found a special group of people that agreed to this.
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

  7. #7
    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    New World
    Posts
    3,348
    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    I hate celebrating my birthday, and it's coming up.

    I hate people feeling obligated to give me credit for something unremarkable and arbitrary. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean you need to say empty words, or buy me a drink. I don't deserve to be treated any better on my birthday than any other day of the year. When I am, it makes me feel bad about myself, because it feels phony and asked for.

    Any other day of the year, I feel good about my interactions with friends, family, loved ones, because I feel like the good vibes that come from those interactions are genuine. But on my birthday, everything seems unreal.

    It's also another year older, another section of a finite existence gone forever. It underscores the gap between what I want and what I have, it reminds me of my failings.

    How do you feel about your birthdays? Do you embrace them as a celebration? Do you have regrets? Do you look forward to presents? What say you?
    Trying to think of the last time I got an actual, honest-to-God birthday present. It's been a few years. I don't really give a shit.

    I guess I've learned to appreciate the concept of a holiday dedicated to each individual human being's existence. Much like any other modern holiday tends to evolve from some ancient ritual observation of a fixed unit of time passing (equinoxes, solstices, and whatnot), it can be as much about reflection and contemplation as praising or rewarding the subject per se. Mine was a month ago, more or less--I mean, I didn't really do anything to be especially in need of honoring over the past year, but passing marks like 3.1 decades of continued existence is at least something to take note of.

    I had a barbecue at my house. The grill took forever to light and it was dumping rain (thankfully I have a large covered back patio), but the bulk of my English-speaking coworkers showed up (aka most of the people I interact with casually on a regular basis). That was kind of affirming in its own way--my existence at least registers as a feature of these other people's lives to the extent that they'll go out of their way to ritually commemorate it. Or, alternately, the calendar event provided a handy excuse for me to arrange entertainments for people I find to be worth entertaining. Either way, I'm glad I put forth the (minimal) effort.

    I spent a good week on either side of it ruminating over things that are and/or aren't trending in ways I'd like them to from an "I've probably lived approximately 1/3 of the time I'm going to be alive" kind of perspective. Meh, but I find that worthwhile to do sometimes.

    Plus I'm finding myself of a mindset lately that says "you know what? Someday I'll be dead, and what the fuck do I gain by not taking opportunities to have fun and be happy about things, even if I can easily second-guess the shit out of any conceit that they signify anything?"

    It might even be you that said "my life means nothing, and it means nothing that my life means nothing." I agree, so... well, fuck it, right? Why not party every now and then? Who cares?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

  8. #8
    Retired
    Type
    XXXX
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    5,748
    I don't like celebrating my own birthday, since I feel rather guilty accepting presents for something that is no achievement at all.

    I do, however, like going to friends' birthday parties and giving them presents. It's nice to see people happy, and there's much less obligation involved.

  9. #9
    Member Adze's Avatar
    Type
    InTp
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Beneath
    Posts
    87
    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    I hate people feeling obligated to give me credit for something unremarkable and arbitrary. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean you need to say empty words, or buy me a drink. I don't deserve to be treated any better on my birthday than any other day of the year. When I am, it makes me feel bad about myself, because it feels phony and asked for.
    I can relate to that, its pretty much how I feel about it these days, and it also makes me feel childish in a sad kind of way if my parents or others want to organise some kind of family thing for it.

    I did enjoy birthdays and xmas presents when I was little, up to and throughout my teens I guess. I remember getting a guitar for my 17th birthday, that would have been one of my last meaningful presents, where I was actually pretty excited.

    Since my birthday is at the start of winter, somehow I always used to relate the temperature and the weather to that birthday feeling
    (Its actually my birthday tomorrow.... oh shit how old am I??)
    Ti, Ne, Si, Fe .... Te, Ni, Se, Fi

  10. #10
    Senior Member skip's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Tatooine
    Posts
    1,309
    I don't tell anyone but one or two friends. I usually take one of them with me and do something special that day like spend it at Disneyland or on a long trail ride. Cake - superlative cake with outstanding buttercream frosting - and ice cream are essential.

    Quote Originally Posted by Polemarch View Post
    I couldn't agree more with this sentiment, but you've found a special group of people that agreed to this.
    No one has to agree. You simply stop doing it. I did this for Christmas years ago. I tell people I celebrate it as a religious holiday, not a commercial one, so I don't exchange gifts. It takes a few years for some people to "get it" but they will stop eventually when they realize you are serious about not reciprocating. Some will act hurt and some will rant and rave but you just stand your ground and the whole thing resolves itself eventually.

    I don't mind going to other peoples' birthday parties as long as it's infrequent (I don't want to go to one every weekend). Buying someone birthday gifts is probably the only kind of shopping I actually enjoy. I don't wait until their birthday, when I find something I know they'll like, or hear them wish for something, I get it then, so it's more like the spontaneous gift giving that lethe talked about. Of course you run a certain amount of risk doing that, twice I've been skunked by someone else beating me to it after I'd already bought the gift and was keeping it until the person's birthday.

    I like selecting the card and wrapping paper, too. I have a signature wrapping style that my mom taught me.
    Yes, I smell like a horse. No, I don't consider that a problem.

Similar Threads

  1. Happy birthday, Rhu!
    By manzanita in forum The Pub
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-21-2014, 01:06 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •