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Thread: My ISTJ cousin and grad parties I want to take her to

  1. #1
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    My ISTJ cousin and grad parties I want to take her to

    I'm about to graduate with my MFA (woohoo) and my mom, aunt, and cousin are coming into town.

    There's a lot of grad parties in the evening while they're here. All the invitations say "bring your family!" but out of them I only have the desire to bring my cousin, who is about my age. Last time I was around her I made her take an MBTI test that I feel is accurate, and ISTJ does indeed peg her.

    She's grown into being a super quiet, SUPER reserved person.

    What do you think:

    A. Will happen when I bring her around my mixed bag of classmates
    B. I should do to help her feel more comfortable

  2. #2
    आत्मन् Sappho's Avatar
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    Congratulations on your MFA! (I had to look up the abbreviation, though, since I nearly suspected it to be a thinly-veiled insult.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    What do you think:

    A. Will happen when I bring her around my mixed bag of classmates
    B. I should do to help her feel more comfortable
    A. Probably nothing at all.
    B. Provide food and drink (especially drink) and hope she turns into an ISTP in the process.

  3. #3
    gryffindor Hermione's Avatar
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    Congrats, dude!!! Fine Arts for the win every time in my book anyway.

    Your cousin likely will get into the circumstance given that SJ's in general approve of and like "events" and "occasions" that are appropriate to a given situation. If you took her to the spontaneous college keg parties or something, then that would be a whole different weird scenario for a serious and introverted thinking sj. (Can't quite picture that one, oye.) Though I did have a few dorm mates that were like that and they did occasionally lighten up a bit at beer parties.

    Now, back to the graduation thing. She will feel 'duty bound' to go and share the occasion of your graduation with you which translates to the rest of us as "oh, boy, any excuse for a party and drinking and stuff, yay!" What we feel as "duty bound" has a whole different meaning to SJ's who basically live for that shit. lol Srsly, they do feel that formalities make life meaningful. I know, I feel the same way you do, but sometimes SJ's come in handy in these sorts of things. She'll likely have a very nice time and meet some cool people. To her, meeting a cool person probably means a business or accounting major (LOL), but still. You get what I mean. (It takes all kinds, as they say) Have an excellent time, Sloth. yay!!
    All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage. Mycroft Holmes

    I am not programmed to harm human beings. Baymax

  4. #4
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    I"m not sure what will happen when she comes, but I have some experience with shy people in a new group. Here is what I usually keep in mind:

    Drinks will probably help, and its a good idea to stick close until she warms up a bit. Then come back and check on her soon. Continue this less and less frequently as she finds her niche.

    Go a little early to giver her time to acclimate and stake out a spot before it gets too crowded. Then as people arrive they are the new ones. She can process them in smaller doses.

    Do actual introductions and make sure to mention things about them in the introduction to give them something to talk about. Like, "Here is my cousin __, she went to Spain last year." In the early conversations of the night you can start them off then ask her direct questions or opinions to include her. Maybe set her up/lead her in to tell a story she is proud of or is funny.

    I'm sure you already know you don't have to push her to talk or stop her from hiding out/taking breaks. Just make it easier to talk/participate.


    Hope that helps and wasn't too obvious. And congratulations!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    I'm about to graduate with my MFA (woohoo) and my mom, aunt, and cousin are coming into town.

    There's a lot of grad parties in the evening while they're here. All the invitations say "bring your family!" but out of them I only have the desire to bring my cousin, who is about my age. Last time I was around her I made her take an MBTI test that I feel is accurate, and ISTJ does indeed peg her.

    She's grown into being a super quiet, SUPER reserved person.

    What do you think:

    A. Will happen when I bring her around my mixed bag of classmates
    B. I should do to help her feel more comfortable
    My dad is hard to type, but I think he is one. I wish I could help you on this.

  6. #6
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sappho View Post
    A. Probably nothing at all.
    B. Provide food and drink (especially drink) and hope she turns into an ISTP in the process.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hermione View Post
    Your cousin likely will get into the circumstance given that SJ's in general approve of and like "events" and "occasions" that are appropriate to a given situation. If you took her to the spontaneous college keg parties or something, then that would be a whole different weird scenario for a serious and introverted thinking sj. (Can't quite picture that one, oye.) Though I did have a few dorm mates that were like that and they did occasionally lighten up a bit at beer parties.

    Now, back to the graduation thing. She will feel 'duty bound' to go and share the occasion of your graduation with you which translates to the rest of us as "oh, boy, any excuse for a party and drinking and stuff, yay!" What we feel as "duty bound" has a whole different meaning to SJ's who basically live for that shit. lol Srsly, they do feel that formalities make life meaningful. I know, I feel the same way you do, but sometimes SJ's come in handy in these sorts of things. She'll likely have a very nice time and meet some cool people. To her, meeting a cool person probably means a business or accounting major (LOL), but still. You get what I mean. (It takes all kinds, as they say) Have an excellent time, Sloth. yay!!
    So it has begun!

    What has happened tonight is all of these things.

    Her reservedness dominated, unfortunately. She's not much of a drinker, but luckily everyone I go to school with DRINKS so drinks were forced on her. She opened up a tiny bit. She followed me around very closely, and I do indeed have to be conscious about who I stick her with when I need to leave to go pee and/or grab a drink. There are certain people she works better with than others (the people she works best with are the ones that are my friends rather than my acquaintances (maybe they're digging the IxTx thing she also has going on, or god forbid, they're just darn cool people and good friends)

    Tomorrow is graduation day, and the biggest social day she'll have to deal with during her trip. I'm not expecting an enormous amount, but, she won't make my reputation worse. I'm known for being an introvert anyway, so by comparison they'll think I'm super outgoing?

    In other news I've been channeling my inner ENTP hardcore. I'm in the zone guys.

    I'll see you on the other side.

  7. #7
    gryffindor Hermione's Avatar
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    LOL Love it. I had many times like that and really am very happy that I did. It made life and school way less boring. Graduating is excellent. The party part is the best and everything else just makes you feel weird. It's like a big huge thing. Excellent you are surviving haha.
    All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage. Mycroft Holmes

    I am not programmed to harm human beings. Baymax

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