Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: You prevaricate like a rug!

  1. #1
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
    Type
    INtP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    7,160
    INTPx Award Winner

    You prevaricate like a rug!

    Lies only thread. If you want to lie, do it here- Go crazy.


    I miss dial-up.
    Bacon sucks.
    I own the moon.
    I had a mole removed from my back that had arms and legs but no head.

  2. #2
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,140
    I love bacon. You know what I love even more? Seafood in any way shape or form.

  3. #3
    Utisz's Avatar
    Type
    INxP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Ayer
    Posts
    2,839
    I am lying. This is a lie. That was a lie too.

    Now I'm telling the truth though.

  4. #4
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
    Type
    INtP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    7,160
    INTPx Award Winner
    Quote Originally Posted by Utisz View Post
    I am lying. This is a lie. That was a lie too.

    Now I'm telling the truth though.
    That made my head smoke like Norman's neck.


    Stop checking out his package.^
    Last edited by LordLatch; 12-25-2013 at 12:02 AM.

  5. #5
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Ceti Alpha V
    Posts
    9,142
    It was a cold day in hell, and the frost had closed over every mirror in the house when I awoke to the sound of shotgun cycling. I like to use alarming sounds for my alarm. It improves the chances I'll actually get up. Does tend to scare the crap out of bed-guests--which is why I have the rubber sheets. Ironically, those aren't as much of a turn-off as I thought they would be. I didn't even have to cater to a different crowd, though it may have helped that I opted for custom sheets with an obvious reservoir tip.

    I got up, bathed, shaved, dressed, and headed off to work at my game dev think tank job. It's one of those places where because suits are not required (as a way to acknowledge the unconventional nature of anyone qualified work here) everyone wears suits. Good ones too. Most of us opted for the 3/4 silk lining in our trousers. Got to be free.

    The behemoth with the tiny mouth and smaller brain behind the security desk nodded as I passed but barely looked up. He was too busy scrutinizing footage from last night's League of Legends match, judging by the reflection in the mirror shades on the counter. When you work in a place like this, you learn to notice small things like that very quickly. Both obvious senses of that sentence are intended.

    As I approached my office I was suddenly tackled by an intern with soft breasts and peanut butter breath. Behind his back we call him that, "Peanut Butter Breath". It's more an identifier than an insult. It was decided because his name (Alberto) seemed to invite a more obvious nickname that none of us were comfortable bestowing on someone of his skin colour: sallow. While the choice we made might seem obvious, we all agreed there was a certain brilliant irony given the full context: he was allergic to peanuts and to our knowledge had never eaten peanut butter in his life.
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

  6. #6
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
    Type
    INtP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    7,160
    INTPx Award Winner
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    It was a cold day in hell, and the frost had closed over every mirror in the house when I awoke to the sound of shotgun cycling. I like to use alarming sounds for my alarm. It improves the chances I'll actually get up. Does tend to scare the crap out of bed-guests--which is why I have the rubber sheets. Ironically, those aren't as much of a turn-off as I thought they would be. I didn't even have to cater to a different crowd, though it may have helped that I opted for custom sheets with an obvious reservoir tip.

    I got up, bathed, shaved, dressed, and headed off to work at my game dev think tank job. It's one of those places where because suits are not required (as a way to acknowledge the unconventional nature of anyone qualified work here) everyone wears suits. Good ones too. Most of us opted for the 3/4 silk lining in our trousers. Got to be free.

    The behemoth with the tiny mouth and smaller brain behind the security desk nodded as I passed but barely looked up. He was too busy scrutinizing footage from last night's League of Legends match, judging by the reflection in the mirror shades on the counter. When you work in a place like this, you learn to notice small things like that very quickly. Both obvious senses of that sentence are intended.

    As I approached my office I was suddenly tackled by an intern with soft breasts and peanut butter breath. Behind his back we call him that, "Peanut Butter Breath". It's more an identifier than an insult. It was decided because his name (Alberto) seemed to invite a more obvious nickname that none of us were comfortable bestowing on someone of his skin colour: sallow. While the choice we made might seem obvious, we all agreed there was a certain brilliant irony given the full context: he was allergic to peanuts and to our knowledge had never eaten peanut butter in his life.
    The EXACT same thing happened to me also.

  7. #7
    Member rhinosaur's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    498
    I am retired and live in Curacao. Yesterday I was out scuba diving when I saw a giant Manta ray and a sawfish. It was great! Later that evening, I was sipping daiquiris by the swim-up bar when I noticed that Beyonce was leaving my guest house. She was awkwardly pulling her luggage across the garden toward the limo. Odd that she didn't just call the butler.

  8. #8
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
    Type
    INtP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    7,160
    INTPx Award Winner
    Quote Originally Posted by rhinosaur View Post
    I am retired and live in Curacao. Yesterday I was out scuba diving when I saw a giant Manta ray and a sawfish. It was great! Later that evening, I was sipping daiquiris by the swim-up bar when I noticed that Beyonce was leaving my guest house. She was awkwardly pulling her luggage across the garden toward the limo. Odd that she didn't just call the butler.
    Her arms were sore from shaving her beard.

  9. #9
    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
    Type
    ENTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,496
    I donate to the Salvation Army every time I see them. I also donate to the Lord's Resistance Army. Actually, I run it, my name is Joseph Kony. And I invented Sony, they just misspelled it.

    My name is Josef Stalin Kony Sony, and I invented the Walkman, and I eat children. I eat them because of my religious beliefs, which are very strong. Which is why I donate to the Salvation Army every time I see them.
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •