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Thread: You here, You in the internet in general, You IRL

  1. #1
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    You here, You in the internet in general, You IRL

    In terms of tone and personality and "appearance," how do those three yous differ and how are they similar? How much do you consciously shape your persona on various websites, how much control do you have over this persona(s), how aware of it are you?

  2. #2
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    All are the same except latch is a subset of 'real' latch's attributes. The personality is is bit toned down here.
    That's my poop stirrin' stick- Don't touch it! You don't know which end is the handle..

  3. #3
    Amen P-O's Avatar
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    I imagine I come off much more straightforward and logical in the forum than in real life... Part of that is just a consequence of the medium we're using. If I'm going to make a point, i have time to think about the logic of what i want to say so that i can say it clearly. If I'm in person I'll generally speak in a more general, cordial way because my meaning is more evident due to tone and gestures etc. Not to mention, if I'm making an actual point, I'll face more scrutiny for what I say on here than what I would in real life.

    The other aspect is, I don't like to reveal too much personal information on a public forum. It's perhaps an unhealthy paranoia but there it is.
    I'm aware of it, but it's not as though I'm trying to deceive people. It's just what comes naturally.
    Violence is never the right answer, unless used against heathens and monsters.

  4. #4
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    I think I come across as a benign stalker on most social media because I follow lots of people on twitter but never tweet, and I'll occasionally "like" someone's post on facebook without commenting or making posts of my own.

    In general (if I don't know someone well) I tend to "compensate" for my quiet voice and demeanor by speaking in a decisive and concise tone. On this site, without the nonverbal factors to balance that tone, I'm not sure what its effects are. I don't normally think too much about how my posts will be received on this site; except in moments of paranoia, I just use the tone that comes naturally, and I don't have many boundaries. Also, in real life, I think that my self-absorption tends to be seen as simple quietness; most people (probably) overlook the disinterest and arrogance of it because I don't look/sound like a 'traditionally' arrogant person, even though I am (not saying that's entirely a bad thing-- it has good and bad effects). (I'm going to think more about this and maybe write something more substantial later.)
    Last edited by Blorg; 06-21-2014 at 08:58 PM.

  5. #5
    Banned
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    I'm a lot less robotic in real life than I seem on here, though at times more nervous. I'm working on combating the latter. Really if I resemble any sci-fi archetype, it's more alien than robot. I also probably come off more judgmental here than I am in real life. The judgment is mostly a defensive reaction.

    A lot of the logic I use here is attempts to make sense of things after I already did or experienced them. It rarely happens in media res. I've found it helps me, sometimes, to construct a framework and work off of that. I need to overthink things a little because my natural reaction is often delayed.

    I do fall into a trap of devising general "rules" to explain setbacks where none actually exists. Studies have psychologically shown that setbacks are easier to manage if they are treated as specific phenomenon, not general phenomena. In this case, my skill with finding patterns can sometimes be a hindrance. But the patterns are not something on my mind in the moment. They are explanations concocted after the fact.

    I am more argumentative in other places, though. I find that there is too much in common with the thought processes here to really stick to finding something objectionable that long. People here tend to have put a lot of thought into what they believe and don't believe, or are at least committed to the process of figuring that out, rather than just glomming on to whatever everyone else in their immediate environment is saying. The people here value principles rather than group loyalty, and I like that, even if I don't agree with all of the principles. People actually give a damn about whether or not their actions match their words, and that's quite rare.

    I'm not inclined to find people thinking about things or asking the wrong questions to be scary.... I find it scarier when people don't ask any questions at all.
    Last edited by msg_v2; 06-21-2014 at 09:04 PM.

  6. #6
    A Transient Configuration Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Me here: I have a tendency to be a less guarded here than in any other social situation I can think of. I can be myself and it isn't a problem. I find that unless we are talking about certain hot button topics, members are given the benefit of the doubt about where they are coming from.
    Benefit of the doubt = if a thing can be taken more than one way, take it the more positive way unless and until the negative way is made explicit. This benefit is essential to productive discourse and the fact that it is given more often than not distinguishes intpx from the internet in general in my mind. It can be hard to accomplish when you feel strongly about a topic and when you have to accept that not everyone agrees with you, but at least we try here.

    Me on the internet in general: absent

    Me IRL: Me being me doesn't go over well in many situations, so I have a lineup of situation appropriate characters I play in order to achieve maximum efficiency in manipulating people into making my life easier.

    I have nerd-shirt wearing weird college professor character, who differs from me mainly in her level of extroversion.

    There is a little black dress and high heels til I'm 6 foot 2 arm candy for my husband's PR functions character who differs from me in almost every conceivable way. Everyone loves her to pieces.

    I have a character who wears blouses instead of t-shirts and who has shoes that you can't run fast in (these shoes belong to her ... I would never wear them) and who uses the small talk rules of never discussing anything important or anything that requires more than 5 seconds to explain. She goes to all of my mother in law's many little social gatherings and events and her goal in life is to know more about everyone else than they know about her. She is also very popular.

    Then there's the real me, who sits in her cave (my office) watching star trek reruns and drawing and playing with puzzles and writing and surfing the web, and reading and grading stuff in her pjs. (I put on pj pants the minute I arrive home, and only put on real pants if I need to go to the store or something) This me likes to go to the movies alone, to travel alone, to eat alone, and to sleep during the day. She makes an exception to the alone for the few people she can be herself around without causing problems. She is worn out and pissed off when she is forced to play other characters more often than not.

  7. #7
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    IRL, I'm quite, polite, and self-effacing.
    Creativity is the residue of time wasted. ~ Albert Einstein

  8. #8
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    I'm far more reserved and guarded on this forum than in real life; I feel boxed in by the culture, somewhat. I really don't want to compete, argue, and debate as often as some posters do. If a discussion becomes too involved, I will jump ship because I am quickly drained. I guess I'm at home in a more freewheeling, unstructured, spontaneous atmosphere?

    As far as the internet in general, it all depends on how anonymous I am. Greater anonymity = greater openness.

    IRL I'm more likely to engage in lengthy discussions about issues. I'm also more open, warm, and playful.

    Generally I prefer communicating in person over talking on the phone, and talking on the phone over texting.*

    ~ The Inconsistent Introvert



    *This really, really depends on the person I'm talking with, my comfort level with him or her, and my current energy reserve level. If conditions aren't met, let's just email or something.

  9. #9
    Member INTP_Polly's Avatar
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    Here: I'm still in observing mode getting a feel for the rhythms of the place. I may have to shake things up a little eventually. It's a little stiff and formal at times. I'm more playful.

    Internet in general: I can show off more than I do in real life. I share my knowledge about things a lot more or lack there of at times. I am a lot more opinionated when I have anonymity.

    IRL: I'm a bit more reserved and don't share my opinions as much. I really do need time to think things over before I express my thoughts and after I've done so in quite some depth I find the sharing part isn't really necessary. I'm typically nice and outgoing. I get along with most people. I do suffer from social anxiety but I hide it very well. I adapt per the environment I'm in so people are getting me in doses. In closer company I'm a joker and can be kind of gregarious at times.

    I keep my life very compartmentalized. I don't mix work with social and within social groups I'll often keep them separated. I noticed on FB one of my friends has started to kind of cling to my best friend and it makes me very uncomfortable. She is one of the very few people who knows everything there is to know about me. The other friend is more of an acquaintance. The groups are mixing...I don't like it. With the exception of very few people who accept being good friends with me requires a comfort with distance, I keep most people at arms length. I don't let many people into my hamster bubble.

  10. #10
    Member Dakkar's Avatar
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    Internet in General

    Wilson describes himself as a 'guerrilla ontologist,' signifying his intent to attack language and knowledge the way terrorists attack their targets: to jump out from the shadows for an unprovoked attack, then slink back and hide behind a hearty belly laugh. --Robert Sheaffer, commenting on Prometheus Rising
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    Last edited by Dakkar; 06-21-2014 at 11:30 PM. Reason: added link to book
    "Do not try to satisfy your vanity by teaching a great many things. Awake their curiosity. It is enough to open their minds, do not overload them. Put there just a spark. If there is some good inflammable stuff, it will catch fire." -- Anatole France

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