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Thread: Procrastination and the Dreaded Fear of Failure?

  1. #1
    KM's Avatar
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    Angry Procrastination and the Dreaded Fear of Failure?



    I'm kicking myself. So often, fantastic opportunities have presented themselves. In the very moment I see it, I know without doubt I would love it, yet I don't reach out and grab it. I hesitate. Terrified to commit. I wait and wait and wait afriad of suffering from the pressure and stress of that commitment. Then, at the last minute, I find the energy to go for it: I pounce only to find the opportunity has disappeared.

    This has happened several times to me this year.

    "
    'I cannot play with you,' the fox said. 'I am not tamed.'" - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince (1943)

    REMINDER TO SELF WHEN DEALING WITH THE RABBIT WARRIOR: "All warfare is based on deception." - Sun Tzu,
    The Art of War

  2. #2
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    Both P's and J's experience anxiety facing decisions.

    J's make the decision and be done with it opting to ease that tension by finalizing it and moving on.

    P's prefer to have move information and put it on the backburner waiting for it. The P doesn't realize that she has already made a choice to do nothing and put it in a pile.

    It's hard to divorce our feelings from the decisions we are faced with, but ultimately we must to operate in any semblance of effectiveness in this world of people. It's ok to make the wrong decision now because later when faced with a similar one, you will be better equipped for that one OR you will know to help another person avoid that pitfall.

    In both cases, your horrible mistake makes YOU more valuable and effective for yourself and others.

    I'll send you an invoice.
    That's my poop stirrin' stick- Don't touch it! You don't know which end is the handle..

  3. #3
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    i know this feeling
    chatting on discord

  4. #4
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    This is my greatest enemy.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Thoth's Avatar
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    Though I am no better at not procrastinating than anyone else, I do find that at the point stress becomes involved simply jumping in and getting "it" done makes me feel a whole lot better, even if the result is a failure.

  6. #6
    Member El D.'s Avatar
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    This is why I'm suck at starting relationships with women I actually really think I would like and pass up so many opportunites. The worst part is that as I've gotten older, I've gotten worse, not better. When I was 22 I seemed to be bolder than I am now, which is depressing to think about.

  7. #7
    Tawaci ki a Gnaska ki Osito Polar's Avatar
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    My belief is that our tendency towards procrastination is an artifact of a cognitive bias where we don't fully relate to our future selves as being the same as us. For example when faced with the decision between watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory that we're enjoying and working on that paper we might look at the clock and think "Yeah but that paper is due tomorrow morning and it's 9:00. If I get my ass in gear I can be done by 11 and still get a good night's sleep." but then we sort of think of that dilemma as being Me at 11:00's problem, so ... kinda not my problem, somehow.
    "I don't have psychological problems." --Madrigal

    "When you write about shooting Polemarch in the head, that's more like a first-person view, like you're there looking down the sight of the gun." --Utisz

    David Wong, regarding Chicago
    Six centuries ago, the pre-Colombian natives who settled here named this region with a word which in their language means "the Mouth of Shadow". Later, the Iroquois who showed up and inexplicably slaughtered every man, woman and child renamed it "Seriously, Fuck that Place". When French explorer Jacques Marquette passed through the area he marked his map with a drawing of a brownish blob emerging from between the Devil's buttocks.

  8. #8
    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
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    I dread commitment more than failure. There's a certain comfort buffer of (potential) free time I like to have for any given day, which sometimes has to be sacrificed. I've been avoidant of sports leagues and various social happenings in the past, but I'm turning around.

    Between work and chores there just aren't enough hours in the day to cram in everything I want, in the capacity I want. Takes discipline to set aside time for enough project, exercise or reading time, not to mention sleep. I like my unproductive downtime. I could stand to manage it better though.

  9. #9
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Osito Polar View Post
    My belief is that our tendency towards procrastination is an artifact of a cognitive bias where we don't fully relate to our future selves as being the same as us. For example when faced with the decision between watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory that we're enjoying and working on that paper we might look at the clock and think "Yeah but that paper is due tomorrow morning and it's 9:00. If I get my ass in gear I can be done by 11 and still get a good night's sleep." but then we sort of think of that dilemma as being Me at 11:00's problem, so ... kinda not my problem, somehow.
    Well-said.

    -------------

    My procrastination got really bad last semester, especially with sleep. I would go through at least 5 alarms every morning. I would set one for 6 am and wake up at noon or later, missing classes and work, etc.

    It can be useful, though. It can freshen up your perceptions of your project when you take regular breaks. I always come up with the crucial ideas for papers when I'm "procrastinating"-- wandering around aimlessly, far away from the computer.

    Of course that changes when you're procrastinating 5 minutes before or after a deadline. I think I developed an unhealthy dependence on adrenaline-- I struggle to write unless it feels like an emergency (and when it feels like an emergency, the quality of my writing plummets). Coffee can trigger that sense of emergency, which is better than the sense of emergency created by writing right up to the deadline, but it's still terrible. So my goal this upcoming semester is to focus on positive motivations for writing. Writing can be fun, so I don't see what my problem is. Why must I stress myself out.

  10. #10
    Now we know... Asteroids Champion ACow's Avatar
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    One of the benefits of starting to fail things in high school was getting over the fear of failure. People said you sucked at things, you didn't have to expend energy keeping on some mystical air of perfection at everything you try, and without that fear you try more things and get better at everything than the others can.

    Many of my friends, especially the ones with "achievement oriented families and school life" - for lack of a better phrase, are still pretty crippled by this. Stops them doing a lot, especially anything requiring a little bit of creativity. That horror of the blank page is a killer...

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