I cut three people out of my life this week. I blocked them from being able to call me or send me text messages and I either unfriended them on FaceBook or put them on my acquaintance list.
- A straight guy who I've told multiple times to stop asking me out on dates and after leading me into conversation about a film we saw, asked me out again. (I didn't go to the cinema with him. I was there with a girlfriend and we ran into him in the lobby.)
- A gay guy who broke up with a friend of mine and suddenly wanted to start spending more time with me. Only he kept saying he wanted to spend time with me and would ask me to clear out my weekend and then not call. Or would interrupt me while I was talking about something upsetting and tell me my hair was nice. Or would criticize some past decision of mine without explaining why he thought that way.
- A straight girl acquaintance who in the past has cancelled dates last minute and who a few nights ago asked me to go out to dinner with her because her entire social network was trashed due to her traveling all the time. I thought this was a bit insulting but chose to ignore it. While at dinner, she offered to do something for me. (I didn't ask her. It was her idea.) Now a few days later, she's criticizing me about this "favor" that she hasn't done yet and is trying to tell me what I need to be doing with my life once she does this. I told her to forget the task if it meant she felt she had the right to control me afterwards.
Historically, I tend to hold onto unhealthy relationships for far too long with the thoughts that if I gave up I'm not being patient enough, forgiving enough, or understanding enough. Within the last year, I had a coach tell me I have problems letting go.
I'm trying to be more picky about the people I allow to influence me or to whom I gift with my time, thoughts and energy. A girlfriend I had in Los Angeles was the first person I ever met who would very decisively chop people out of her life forever once she decided they didn't fit. I admired the hell out of her for being able to do that and for being so sure.
I guess I'm curious if people here do the cutting people off thing and where they set their boundaries and if they have a pre-cut protocol.
Bookmarks