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Thread: How to spot Extraverts and Introverts

  1. #1
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    How to spot Extraverts and Introverts

    From The Art of Speedreading People:

    Extraverts Introverts
    • Have enthusiastic demeanor
    • Talk more
    • Are usually more animated
    • Think out loud
    • Talk faster and usually louder
    • Are easily distracted
    • Changes subjects quickly
    • Like to be around people
    • Often seek center stage
    • Act first and think about it later
    • Interrupt and finish sentences
    • Have calm, measured demeanor
    • Talk less
    • Are usually more reserved
    • Think, then talk
    • Talk slower and usually more quietly
    • Are able to focus their attention
    • Stay with one subject at a time
    • Like to spend time alone
    • Often shun the limelight
    • Are more cautious and hesitant
    • Start conversations without a preface

    Same deal as the other threads.

  2. #2
    Member mthomps's Avatar
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    I'm not a fan of these charts. I'm a total introvert but when I'm in the company of close friends I am all over the place like the extravert is described. Most of my time is spent alone. Perhaps in the company of a stranger, maybe at the store, I'll be reserved and speak little. But when in good company I'll put all that saved energy to good use.

  3. #3
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    Agreed, and to be fair to the authors, their book includes such disclaimers, elaborations and cautions throughout the text.

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    Member mthomps's Avatar
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    it's all just too one size fits all... I suppose it's a good generalization but that's all it is. Doesn't take in to account patterns beyond...the base? I guess? It doesn't take in to account preferences.

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    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Again, I listen to what they say, and how they say it (and everything between the lines).

    The basic thing I'm listening for is how they go about their free, unplanned, unfilled time. Is it more alone or solitary vs. is it more outgoing, social. How do they prefer to spend their free time? How do they "recharge"? And so on.

    Otherwise, I think there's something to be said about the nonverbal, physical-behavioral things like
    • eye contact: making/breaking/aversion, etc
    • handshakes, etc: weak & aversive or otherwise
    • movement, placement in a group: more to the side or back, or with space around them (qua "personal space") vs. otherrwise


    and so on?

  6. #6
    One insight I recently had (which has probably been obvious to all of you) about Es:
    I feel like I'm often surprised by the socializing that Es do--how indiscriminate it seems, mostly. What I realized is that because they're Es, they're largely driving conversations and interactions. I feel like I watch, listen, respond, interject, but it's rare (unless I'm in a room of hardcore Is) for me to drive things. When I do, it's entertaining but ultimately draining and not something I pursue. In any case, if you're the one driving, it matters more to have an audience and less who those people are. I'm often surprised at the poor quality of people around some of my high-quality E friends, and I think this is part of why--they enjoy people, so they encourage their presence, regardless of them being interesting, kind, engaging, etc.

  7. #7
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    To me, it seems the E's are always thinking out loud and I find this annoying. It's like it's not thought unless its vocalized. Maybe that's why there's this propaganda out there that team work and being a "team player" is so important. I hate being on a team--I never liked team sports and I don't like team work. I'm a loner--just give me a problem to solve and go away. I think with my brain, not my mouth.

  8. #8
    Scala Mountains Resonance's Avatar
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    I'm an E on the internet

    well, I used to be, anyway. I would surround myself with people I didn't really like that much, just to have someone to talk to. But now that I've managed to actually cultivate a few relationships with people I actually like, I mostly just talk to them.

    I definitely agree that it depends where you see them, though...
    Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water. Water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

  9. #9
    just dont think about it mhc's Avatar
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    something that is often over looked, i think, is that people notice the extroversion of their own dominant function in others. what does this mean? when paying someone else attention, you are paying attention to your likeness in them, not their dominant function. this can have huge implications, however ultimately proves a good point for acceptance and the overcoming of ignorance.
    Just look at the blue sky

  10. #10
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mthomps View Post
    it's all just too one size fits all... I suppose it's a good generalization but that's all it is. Doesn't take in to account patterns beyond...the base? I guess? It doesn't take in to account preferences.
    I agree, the one size fits all kinda generalizations about this topic is kinda... meh.

    I recently went on a date with an INFJ (so they said they've tested as). This human being would. not. shut. the. fuck. up.

    Now, I have my talkative moments. Sure. I've met talkative people, sure. This was a whole new level. The only way I could possibly get a word in is if I raised my voice very loudly and just persistently kept talking (as this person would not stop talking if I simply said a few words). It was INSANE.

    In other news I recently met an ESFJ at a bar (she was obsessed with personality theories so I'm inclined to believe she was ESFJ for sure) who brought a book to the bar... and kept her nose in it for a good amount of the night.

    Moral of the story: people be strange.

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