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Thread: Icing Your Balls

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    Utisz's Avatar
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    Icing Your Balls

    Generally I'll start off by having a really warm bath, like uncomfortably warm, no soap, then I'll shave my balls because nobody likes hairy icing, then I'll wash them again. I'll stick on a towel and then go to prepare the icing. Depending on who's calling over, I'll either prepare a royal icing or buttercream icing, with just a drop of red colouring to get the right skin tone. While I'm waiting for the icing to cool in the pan, I'll dunk my balls in the warm bath again: a little moisture helps the icing adhere.

    Before proceeding, you should always check that the icing isn't too warm. Try a little on your arm first. Just don't wait too long otherwise it will start to set.

    Once the icing is good to go, I'll take out the spatula. I know some folks swear by using a piping bag but in my opinion the result is always too lumpy. When using a spatula, the main trick for an even coat is to make the icing a little more runny than usual and then apply the icing while squatting over a mirror, starting from the base and working with gravity rather than against it. For the final touches, as the icing is starting to set I'll use a butter-knife dipped in a little red/blue colouring to decorate on some wrinkles and veins and then I'll dunk my balls in a bowl of chocolate sprinkles to give a stubble effect. After that I'll just blow on them until it all sets nicely.

    How about you guys?

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    Senior Member Tetris Champion notdavidlynch's Avatar
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    Pics or it didn't happen.

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    Societal egress and ennui Catoptric's Avatar
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    Utisz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by notdavidlynch View Post


    Pics or it didn't happen.
    You first. :P

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    Quote Originally Posted by Utisz View Post

    How about you guys?
    Shouldn't fudge be involved? Not directly on the balls, but perhaps not far away from the ball base? The aromas, after all, should be immediately detectable by the nose for maximum effect, and fudge is prized worldwide for its aroma.

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    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    The truly hardcore first shave, then chill their balls. However, as your balls get chilled, they (and the rest of the nearby apparatus) tend to contract into the body cavity. This gets in the way of the final step being properly presented, so it's best to apply some sort of elastic retaining ring to limit the contraction process. After the balls are good and chilled, liberally apply Magic Shell.

    For those feeling more cordial, first apply a chilled spread of cherry flavored syrup, then apply the layer of Magic Shell.

    I may have an overabundance of imagination.
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

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    Senior Member Limes's Avatar
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    Don't let a cat lick it off. Their tongues are awful hookey.

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    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    *backs away slowly from thread*
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

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    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    *backs away slowly from thread, taking pictures for unspecified future use*
    ftfy
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

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    Utisz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    I thought this was about putting ice on your balls. I will now leave this thread and never come back.
    ftfy
    fyp

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