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Thread: How to Get Rid of A Freeloader

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    Member El D.'s Avatar
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    How to Get Rid of A Freeloader

    A few weeks ago my new roommate decided he wanted to help this guy. We both know him as hes mildly involved in the local skate scene here. The guy apparently sells mostly bootlegged DVDs to get by (which you probably know is a dying business) but also other random stuff. So anyway, a couple of weeks ago he randomly showed up at my house (this annoys me already), and we hung out for the night until it was time to crash, and my roommate told him he could sleep on the couch. The next day guess who randomly shows up. He slept on the couch again, then the following morning my two roommates had apparently discussed the matter and one sent me a text saying he wanted to help this guy and give him a place to stay for a while. Given that my roommate had given up all of his material possessions and quit his job about a year ago, hes all too familiar with the discomforts and inconveniences of being homeless. I guess he has a soft spot for homeless people.

    I said to him "Dude, I dont want to tell you that you cant help him, but if you set up this bed for him downstairs, hes going to get comfortable real fast, and I dont want him living with us indefinitely. I have reasons not to fully trust him, and you know what they are." Basically I was outvoted. It was two against one, and they told him he could stay.

    Last week He drank my last two beers, and I got pissed. I made an example out of it, and thats what started to get-your-ass-out-of-my-house ball rolling. Actually, the rest of the shit he did after that doesnt matter. Suffice it to say that his self-entitled ass stepped on so many toes over the past week that my roommates and I are all in agreement now. He's got to go.

    Here's the problem. I dont want this to end on bad terms. He obviously knows where we live. He knows what my car looks like. He knows our general work schedules at this point, and he knows what valuables we have in our house. Like I said, I dont completely trust this dude, and part of me thinks that the only reason he hasnt tried to fuck us over is that we've been generous up to this point. I worry that once we give him the boot hes going to try to rob us, or that he would try to break something just to spite us. I'm not really sure what the best way to do this is. I could leave it on my roommate, since it was his idea and all, which is a valid option, but at the same time this guy isnt the most diplomatic person.

    My living situation has become hell, but unfortunately moving isn't in the cards until some time next year.

  2. #2
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by El D. View Post
    Here's the problem. I dont want this to end on bad terms. He obviously knows where we live. He knows what my car looks like. He knows our general work schedules at this point, and he knows what valuables we have in our house. Like I said, I dont completely trust this dude, and part of me thinks that the only reason he hasnt tried to fuck us over is that we've been generous up to this point. I worry that once we give him the boot hes going to try to rob us, or that he would try to break something just to spite us. I'm not really sure what the best way to do this is. I could leave it on my roommate, since it was his idea and all, which is a valid option, but at the same time this guy isnt the most diplomatic person.
    Accept that it will end on bad terms. Accept that he will probably steal from you and or break something. But I'd expect that's going to happen anyway, so might as well not have him living in the house when it does. You want to do it sooner rather than later, because later he might have rights. It varies from place to place but if you let someone stay with you for X amount of time, they end up with residency and you have to go through some hoops to evict them if they don't leave voluntarily.

    My first step would be pooling money for new locks. Change the locks the same day you boot him. This will require coordination with your landlord, but the last thing you need is for this dude to be wandering around, self-righteous, and with a key to your home in his pocket.

    The alternative is to ambush him as a group, and demand his key out of the blue. Then kick him out. You'll still want to consider new locks, but you might want to keep your landlord from knowing why you want new locks. I recommend doing it as a group so that there is no room in his mind for wheedling with one of your roommates later. Make it clear it's unanimous.

    If possible, I'd suggest making a rule that in the future, it takes a unanimous vote to get someone new living with you, not a simple plurality. 20/20 hindsight and all that. But at least with this crop of roommates, that rule will be an easier sell, and with future crops of roommates, you've got a solid story to back up your point.
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

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    wetback Space Invaders Champion Fitz's Avatar
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    People have accidents skating all the time.
    Then why did he put the Devil in me?

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    Roommates.


  5. #5
    Member El D.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    My first step would be pooling money for new locks. Change the locks the same day you boot him. This will require coordination with your landlord, but the last thing you need is for this dude to be wandering around, self-righteous, and with a key to your home in his pocket.
    The good news is that we never gave him a key. Maybe I should get a gun just in case.

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    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by El D. View Post
    The good news is that we never gave him a key. Maybe I should get a gun just in case.
    I wouldn't. I'm against purchasing guns as a reactionary measure. But that's just because I'm against purchasing weapons on emotional impulse.
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

  7. #7
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    I agree with heph.

    Sounds like the guy already senses his time is limited. Get together with your roommates to decide the details ahead of time, quickly. Don't give the guy any more time to plan something or react. Come together, as a group, get his stuff out and his key back. Make sure it is a short process and remember that you don't have to explain much or justify your actions. You don't have to be cruel, just firm, and it's not your job to make him feel OK about it or soothe him.

    Fast, firm, and united are the key words in a situation like this. The quicker this happens the less painful and confusing it becomes. I would also change the locks and keep a close eye out the first week or so.
    Don't remember changing this.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by El D. View Post
    The good news is that we never gave him a key.
    Might still be a good idea to change the locks. Put up a surveillance camera and make sure he knows there is one somewhere? Or just put up old web cameras and say they are connected to a server.

  9. #9
    Member El D.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    I wouldn't. I'm against purchasing guns as a reactionary measure. But that's just because I'm against purchasing weapons on emotional impulse.
    Yeah, I wasnt completely serious. I have wanted a revolver for a while, but thats a different topic and honestly if I had a gun there I think I would be less safe in the house with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by lethe View Post
    Fast, firm, and united are the key words in a situation like this.
    Thats good advice.

  10. #10
    fhtagn Rhu's Avatar
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    Are there any motels nearby that offer cheap weekly rates?

    If so, get your roommates to pitch in, pay for the first week in cash, and drop him off at his brand new home. Maybe explain why you're evicting him with a polite obvious lie, like how your grandmother is coming to stay for a bit and she's going to need that couch.

    Also make it clear that he's on his own after that first week. I doubt that the blanket of roaches he'll be sleeping under will leave him thinking you and your roommates are super generous, but it might mitigate the hard feelings.

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