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Thread: Bad fictional poetry

  1. #1
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Bad fictional poetry

    This isn't a place to post the terrible poems you've run across in your fiction reading. Rather, this is a place to imagine you are some fictional character and write terrible poems, the sort that find their way into composition notebooks and PeeChee folders--that being their native biome.

    I recommend mentioning who you are ghost writing for--unless it's really really obvious.


    Sauron

    Ah, my Precious, my sweet, my delight
    Long have I cast my gaze in search of thee
    I shall burn the world in glorious spite
    of all who keep you from coming home to me

    I'm surrounded by corrupt creatures vile
    They bicker and snarl at each other in darkness
    and waste their lives pursuing nothing worthwhile
    They have no grasp of what is truly Precious

    You call to me, a song so sweet it tears the air
    Between us to ribbons, and I will find you
    I long for the day when you are back in my lair
    and all that is wrong can be made right and true

    Precious of mine
    My Precious
    Oh Precious fine
    Preeeeeeeeshuuuuuuuusssssss!


    Robin Hood

    I shot the sheriff
    And then I shot his right hand man
    I shot the sheriff
    And I swear it was not just in self defense
    But in defense of all the land

    He stole our homes
    While we were out serving the King
    He stole our homes
    And took from the people everything
    So I stole it back for common man

    I shot the sheriff
    And I swear I'll do it again and again
    I shot the sheriff
    To get the jackals well in hand
    So Lionheart can rest when he gets back again
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

  2. #2
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    great thread idea.

    I'll try to think of one. Your first poem reminded me of this:


  3. #3
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dot View Post
    <heartfelt song>
    I'm getting the emotions. All of the emotions are getting on me.
    That's my poop stirrin' stick- Don't touch it! You don't know which end is the handle..

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