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Thread: How people see you vs. how you see yourself

  1. #1
    <3 gator's Avatar
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    How people see you vs. how you see yourself

    I was surprised today to be described as "lovely patient and nurturing lady" because it certainly doesn't square up with how I view myself. Though, at least it's a positive assessment.

    To what extent does the feedback you get from others match your assessment of yourself?

  2. #2
    My last boss thought I was a raging extrovert. My current boss thinks I'm a raging introvert. What they don't realize is that I'm whatever I need to be at work, and it has nothing to do with who I am at home.

    Most people think I'm super nice. Most people haven't crossed the line, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by whatloveihave View Post
    I don't find you a potential threat to human society, you're not crazy. Feces.

  3. #3
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    I've been told I'm intimidating, whereas I think I'm sweet as pie. I've also been told I have a poker face, whereas I always think everyone can tell what I'm thinking by the faces I make.

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    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    My last boss thought I was a raging extrovert.
    Sometimes when I first meet people they will think this about me. Once people get to know me though (assuming it isn't someone I just meet once or twice) they laugh about how they first thought that because I'm definitely introverted. I'm just not afraid to talk to people *when* I want to talk them.

    I think people see me as a nice person, and I consider myself a nice person.

    I think I'm way nicer than the average person, that's for sure.

  5. #5
    somebody I dated last year told me that they didn't believe that I'm an introvert. I'm nearly a complete recluse.

  6. #6
    Member El D.'s Avatar
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    Typically my friends think I'm like the nicest dude ever. Then, at least some people who dont know me very well think Im either stuck up, or cold, distant, apathetic, detached, aloof, or something like that. I'm pretty sure some people see me that way at work. I dont go out of my way to get to know people very often, which I think is why I come across that way to acquaintances, but its not even because I'm uninterested. Its just uncomfortable, and it seems like it would be awkward or that I would just end up bothering people. I'm actually very interested in people, but I don't know how to show them that without being weird or awkward or socially clumsy.

    I dont really know. I'm just some guy.

  7. #7
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    regarding my personality, my now-bf said his first impression was that i sorta reminded him of aubrey plaza and daria, then later on a little bit of kristen stewart. i think that's fair but i'm not as heady as kstew. all in all, i probably come across as a cool nerd and/or an extremely awkward dorky person in first-time social contexts.

    i get "nice" a lot. i've been approached by strangers who wanted to tell me i look "nice" as in like a nice person. i don't really know wtf that means but it doesn't sound like the type of thing you're supposed to analyze or question. some people who actually are really really nice have told me that i'm somewhat intimidating.

    by teachers i get told i'm probably a big reader. it's the way i talk. in discussions i'm a calm and thoughtful speaker and really like to get into the details. i also get "smart" very frequently.

    people who don't know me well but hate me have stated they they think i'm judgmental.

    it's all so vague.

  8. #8
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    I don't really expect other people's assessment of me to match up with who I fully am.

    Although I value authenticity, am open, and would never want to put up a facade, it's difficult and inadvisable to show the entirety of yourself to each person. I am (we all are) complex, more than a list of traits. I like to think of it as a multifaceted jewel. Truth is, most people only want a slice of you, they only ever want to look in on a few facets. So although those sides of me aren't fake or forced, they are far from the whole picture. The view from one side may look completely different from another side or in a different light (setting/situation).

    Whatever they end up extrapolating from that view or describing of me isn't necessarily who I am, but it IS a part of who I am.


    The only descriptions that have surprised me or didn't seem to fit is when I've been told I was intimidating or somehow threatening. I've heard this often enough to not be a fluke, but can't figure out what is causing it (at least, not anything I could/would fix). I actually put a lot of thought and effort into making people feel comfortable and myself seem "approachable".
    Don't remember changing this.

  9. #9
    singularity precursor Limey's Avatar
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    I'm fairly accurately considered at work to be like Carey's character in "yes man" before he adopted his yes program. I'm isolationist, a lone wolf, a wolf pack of one. Don't call me, I'm busy. Leave me alone, I don't need help.

    Anyone that got close enough to consider themselves potential friend material probably got the same impression. In-fact, it's good advice to deliberately get people's names wrong if they start getting too close.

    Thanks for reading this, INTxCartel reader.

  10. #10
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    People, even people that don't like me, usually think I'm intelligent. Perceptive and insightful is another thing I get. Sometimes, depending on the person, amusing. I would agree with those. Some people have gotten it into their heads that I'm caring and sensitive, but I'm not sure I agree with that. I'm also seen as blunt or saying inappropriate things, and I think that's true.

    I also think I'm lazy, irritable, sloppy, prone to holding a grudge, distant. People have probably picked up on those things. People have at times in the past called me "gloomy" and "negative." I think I put on a good enough front now that even if that's true at that particular time, I'm able to hide that.

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