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Thread: Conversations with your pet

  1. #11
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    My cat I have brought back from the realm of feral bliss over the past 4 years. She has only most recently added verbal conversation to her food begging repertoire. I'm not altogether amused at this development. It was much less intrusive on my daydreams when she would only weave between my legs, or just stand in place and use her tail to caress my calf.

    Our conversations typically go:

    Cat: Meow
    Me: Mao, What dose Mao mean?
    Me: Mao Zedong?
    Me: Do you have a Mousey Tongue?

    Then I'll Speak for her.

    Me Channeling Cat: Daddy!? I am Hungry!
    Me: Alright, here you go. You little fuzzy Monster.
    *Feeds Cat*
    Creativity is the residue of time wasted. ~ Albert Einstein

  2. #12
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    I used to discuss string theory and its implications of other universes with my cat when it first became a thing. She was a good listener. I felt like if I filled her head up with a lot of deep and existential things it would give her a leg up in the next lifetime. No idea if it paid off or not, RIP Whiskers.

  3. #13
    Sky Anvil Vison's Avatar
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    Me: Yooouu! You are made of dog juices and dog meats all wrapped up in dog skiiiiins. I know its true.
    Him: Look at my toy! All is magnificent! *wiggle dances*
    Me: What!?! I dont think you understand, its not sinking into your fuzzy wee brain.You are fucking regal.
    Him: This is my toy *pushes it at my hand* Throw it pulueeasssse
    Me: God, i am so dissapointed in you. Look at all your wasted potential. You could have been doctor, could have cured ebola, could have been a pair of fucking boots. Now look at you, a slave to the ball. You could have been boots.
    Him: The Ball Must Flow *drops ball and bats it across the floor, giving chase. Ball goes directly under tv stand* WWWWWWAAA WA WA WA. Save me mommy 2! Save the ball!!? WWAAAA
    Me: You did it on purpose! Just to make me go get it! I dont wanna!
    Oh fuck it, Its the 90's.

  4. #14
    Cooler than Jesus
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    I don't have a pet, but there used to be a cat on my regular commute that I would regularly stop to pet. It quickly started to recognize me and came running from a distance when I approached sometimes. Always tried to climb on me like a tree and get onto my shoulders, but it was too fat. My conversations usually consisted of me telling the cat that it was too fat to fit on my shoulders, that it was taking the relationship too fast, and that I just could't handle that kind of commitment. It didn't listen. The cat's love of my shoulders was unbridled.

  5. #15
    Utisz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Me: Hey. Do you know what's in this can?
    I always had this Good Bye Lenin! scenario in my head where you would recreate the environment of Soviet Russia in your apartment to protect your cat from the indelicacies of capitalism like putting Whiskas into old Soviet cat food tins and only using like Soviet cat litter but that one day you came home and one of your sisters was drinking a can of Coke with the name "Arlene" on it and you were like like "no no no you fucking bitch" or something and your cat was all like .


    What's your cat called by the way?

  6. #16
    Utisz's Avatar
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    Oh yes and this too.


  7. #17
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Utisz View Post
    I always had this Good Bye Lenin! scenario in my head where you would recreate the environment of Soviet Russia in your apartment to protect your cat from the indelicacies of capitalism like putting Whiskas into old Soviet cat food tins and only using like Soviet cat litter but that one day you came home and one of your sisters was drinking a can of Coke with the name "Arlene" on it and you were like like "no no no you fucking bitch" or something and your cat was all like .


    What's your cat called by the way?
    His name's Lev.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  8. #18
    Utisz's Avatar
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    Lev, lev, lev, sounds familiar, lemme see ...

    Lev Gumilev (1912–1992), Soviet historian, ethnologist and anthropologist
    Lev Kamenev (1883–1936), Bolshevik revolutionary and a prominent Soviet politician
    Lev Kuleshov (1899–1970), Soviet filmmaker and film theorist
    Lev Landau (1908–1968), prominent Soviet physicist
    Lev Leviev (born 1956), Soviet-born Israeli businessman, philanthropist and investor
    Lev Sedov (1906–1938), son of the Russian Communist leader Leon Trotsky and his second wife Natalia Sedova
    Lev Shatilo (born 1962), retired javelin thrower from the Soviet Union
    Lev Tolstoy
    Lev Trotsky (Liev Davidovitch Trotsky)
    Lev Vainshtein (1916–2004), Soviet world champion and Olympic bronze medalist in shooting
    Lev Vygotsky (1896–1934), Russian psychologist
    Lev Yashin (1929–1990), nicknamed as "The Black Spider", a Soviet-Russian football goalkeeper




    (Where we're going we don't need eyes to see.)

  9. #19
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Utisz View Post
    [video]
    Oh God, I now have a morbid curiosity for that movie. Ughhhhh. (But seriously who doesn't want to drive from state to state in a pick-up truck...)

    And I didn't call him Lev, his original owner did, before abandoning him at my house for beating up Durruti, her other cat. If it was up to me, I'd just have called him Stupid.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  10. #20
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartender View Post
    I know what the problem is. You have a cat not a dog.
    Fact.

    I have the voice of a 6 year old I use(sometime I'll record it) when I'm telling him he has all the good puppy stuff and I good through a list of puppy good puppy parts that he has. I also sing to him and purposely sing horribly and I know he doesn't mind because he continues to allow me in to bask in his sleepy love eyes. He watches me from across the room with those eyes even when I'm not gibbering at him.
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

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