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Thread: Little embarassments that don't deserve their own thread

  1. #331
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Waxing:

    -Okay. Breathe in.
    -Gahhh!!
    -I haven't done anything yet.
    -Oh.

    /mature
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  2. #332
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    I forgot that I ordered groceries to be delivered today (never mind that I placed the order only yesterday). Catching up on much needed sleep, I'm awakened by the door bell. Completely ignored it, as anyone who knows me wouldn't dare visit me unannounced, and if they did, then fuck them, they should know better, I'm not getting out of bed.

    By the third ring, I start wondering if it might be something important. Was the building on fire? Did I leave my keys in the lock on the outside of my door? Then it finally hit me. I grabbed clothes scattered throughout my room to put on, and rushed to the door half asleep and oddly dressed to a face that just said: what the fuck were you doing in there?

    At least the cat has food to eat now. She was starting to look at me funny.

  3. #333
    chaotic neutral jigglypuff's Avatar
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    i was at the grocery store and started naming off my grocery list to my SO who was standing next to me-- or so i thought.

    hahahahaa a a a a a

    he was this older asian man with long gray hair who was about the same height as my SO and wearing the same sort of jacket. he smiled at me and was attractive though hahah

    (i am SO exhausted and my vision is terrible, i can't see anything, so that's my excuse)
    Unicorns: I occasionally behave like one; while behaving like a unicorn, I put a condom on my horn, stuck it into a dumbbell weight to keep it safe from tarnishing. But my soul was already tarnished; simultaneously, my words were also tarnished.
    --INTPx

  4. #334
    Merry Christmas
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    I taught a lesson with three new students yesterday, shy 13/14 year old boys. The mother of two of them sat at the table with us the whole lesson, which made me self-conscious. One of them was on a much lower level than the brothers. He was quiet and embarrassed the whole time. He didn't know the answers to any of the questions that the others could answer. At the end of the lesson, the mother said to me, "so this seems like it'll be fine. They're all at the same level, aren't they?" The kids all looked at me and waited for me to reply. "Sure!" I said. "It'll be fine!"

    Quote Originally Posted by the sock
    I'm enlightening you. That is a lot more than you can say.

  5. #335
    I gave a talk at a national conference last month and fell up the stage steps trying to point at my slides.

    Next time, I bring my own laser pointer.

  6. #336
    Utisz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MuseedesBeauxArts View Post
    Next time, I bring my own laser pointer.
    I can never get those things to not jitter.
    Makes me look like I'm shitting a brick when I'm zen and makes me look like I'm shitting a brick when I'm shitting a brick.

  7. #337
    Meae Musae Servus KOI's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Utisz View Post
    I can never get those things to not jitter.
    Makes me look like I'm shitting a brick when I'm zen and makes me look like I'm shitting a brick when I'm shitting a brick.
    You should make either a small robot to hold the pointer and control said robot with nonchalance, or rig up a laser pointer holder contraption you have to work with rotating dials: angle of elevation, base trunion to rotate the device left and right, and another to control the angle left and right of the pointer in the plane you are elevating.

    Spoiler: Possible starting point


    Then you mount a rotating disc to the plane, and mount the whole device on another rotating platform. Of course, the rotation of the discs needs to be gear controlled. You won't rotate the discs, you'll rotate dials and use the gearing and driveshaft to turn full circumference rotations into millimeter movements of the discs. You'll want something similar to run a support pillar up and down to adjust the elevation of the plane.

    The best part is, you'll look both energetic, and smooth. To say nothing of needlessly clever.

    Might find your presentations run a little long if you go full manual.
    I believe I've discovered the key to being prolific: stay busy.

  8. #338
    Member repo_man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    i was at the grocery store and started naming off my grocery list to my SO who was standing next to me-- or so i thought.
    I once went to a book store with a couple of coworkers during lunch break for some reason. I saw a man who I thought was my coworker standing in front of one book shelf so I decided to joke around a little. I walked up next to him and started introducing the contents of the shelf like an over-enthuastiac salesperson. "So a book for you, Sir? Perhaps this one here by xxxx... or this here entitled xxxx... or why not a book about xxx?"
    I was quite embarrased when I realised I was talking to a stranger. He just smiled at the incident and said my advice was good.

  9. #339
    The Pompatus of Love C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    "We are not allowed to make eye contact during my lectures ever again."
    There was a guy in my Junior ROTC company. Whenever we made eye contact we would usually bust out laughing despite knowing that push-ups would follow.
    Your gardening sucks and your avocados ain't fruitin'. -- Sappho the Maestro

  10. #340
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.J.Woolf View Post
    There was a guy in my Junior ROTC company. Whenever we made eye contact we would usually bust out laughing despite knowing that push-ups would follow.
    LOL. Let's call it "sarcasm rapport" -- a condition in which not only are you and another person able to beam your sarcastic take on the world directly into each other's brains, but you are also unable to refrain from doing so whenever eye contact is made.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

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