I think clicking with an NT is extraordinary but not everyone I've clicked with has been an NT. There are quite a few women I was attracted to or went out with that I couldn't venture a guess for their type but different enough to know they weren't remotely the same. I can remember one lady I used to work with whom I was very surprised to learn she was an ESFJ. Well, yes & no. Her best friend was a former USC cheerleader, had reoccurring roles on some Baywatch show, and my friend herself dated a rock star, but when they were together, they were so shallow talking about some of the guys they dated or tried to pick them up. But one-on-one, when she would choose to be honest, she was a completely different person. It wasn't that those were the most stimulating or contemplative conversations, it was just that she was real. She was quite the looker and had an artistic side, which I dug. We never dated. I'm don't know if she had any attraction towards me whatsoever. I do think she was more dismissive of me as being shy and unsure of myself at first to later realizing I just didn't really want to talk to her but for some reason we did become mild friends. She was selfish and chased after vain things. She was cute and we had our moments but I wouldn't have wanted for us to be "an item." I used to ask her friend to take me to some of the parties she went to as her date so some other women, preferably nicer with a built-in moral compass, would try to "steal" me away but alas, she never did.
I don't know what it was I found most attractive about the ESFJ. Maybe when she was real she was vulnerable, so to speak. Although, the real princessy, damsel in distress type I avoid like the L Ron Hubbert section of the airport bookstore. I like strong, feminine women. There were times she didn't care about what others thought or would at least confess to essentially trying to fit in, or just talk about random stuff, or just joke, or just listen, or whatever. That person I would be interested in but that person was full moon sprouting Ms Hyde. I'm sure her Dr Jeckel 80% of the time found me just as off putting but still, my choice would have been to keep looking.
I can think of some times I was set up or asked to meet someone and while there was nothing wrong, I just wasn't attracted to them. Intelligent conversation but mechanical. She may have an interest in advocacy but just nothing there. All different types, I would've believed, but just nothing there.
This went over my head.
Here's the thing, half the ones I'm speaking of don't want to be alone, period. I've known those people who love to fall in love but the ones I'm thinking of so desperately have to be with someone that they will be with someone they don't particularly like. I think they fear abandonment more than actually getting some rush. In some cases I'm not sure how much they like themselves and can't be alone with themselves for more than five minutes and possibly have to face that dilemma.
Where does this theory go if we took sex off the table?
Bookmarks