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Thread: Mafia II: Space Vampires (or something)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013

    Mafia II: Space Vampires (or something)

    Date: Friday October 31st, 2014
    Time: 7:13pm
    Place: Mojave, California

    The Cast:
    Osito Polar
    Light Leak
    Dr. Ahcir
    Granny Smith

    The INTPs were hanging out in a rented house off I-58 in Mojave. They were way out in the desert, drinking beers on their outdoor furniture and talking about the days events. It was a Halloween party, so they were in costumes.

    Dirac was dressed as Jon Snow
    Dot was dressed as Little Ninja Orphan Annie
    LowIQLogan was dressed as SubZero
    Slab_Bulkhead was dressed as Jon Snow
    Utisz was dressed as a zombie Captain Jack Sparrow
    Osito Polar was dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi
    Light Leak was dressed as Trinity
    Lethe was dressed as Katness
    Hephaestus was dressed as Fred, from Scooby Doo
    Dr. Ahcir was dressed as Dexter
    Noir was dressed as 80's Hulk Hogan
    Polemarch was dressed as a guy from Duck Dynasty
    Granny Smith was dressed as Grover
    P-O was dressed as Zorro
    tele was dressed as The Bride

    "Goddammit, Dirac! AGAIN?" said Slab_Bulkhead

    Dirac turned wearily and just gave a mostly-defeated shrug. He pouted like a half-drowned puppy.

    "Damn, that was good."

    Dirac just sighed and the two walked over to the party together in awkward silence.

    "WHOA! Check this out, Hulkamaniacs and wrestling fans!" growled Noir as they approached "Looks like we're in for a SNOWstorm!" He carefully arranged his oversized blonde mustache and took a large gulp out of his Solo cup.

    Slab almost threw up at his mouth after he got the joke. He looked at Dirac who whispered "No, brother. Our road ahead will be hard, but we've got to press on."

    As they got to the front of the house where the main body of the party was gathered, they overheard a conversation about the days events.

    "So, why do YOU think SpaceshipTwo really blew up?" asked LowIQLogan.

    "Probably a combination of the kinds of mechanical failure you get with early test spacecraft, possibly pilot error and, you know, regular old bad luck." said Light Leak.

    "No, that's not how this is done. You can't just blurt out the right answer. You have to overthink it first." said Logan.

    "Oh, so like we're supposed to say they were sabotaged by jealous engineers from NASA or something?" asked Light Leak.

    "Better in that it's less actually plausible, but it's maybe more of an INTJ answer." piped in tele.

    "OH how about this -- it was aliens that did it!" chimed in Lethe.

    "GREAT!" said LowIQLogan "But why?"

    "It was because they flew too high for humans using a home-grown technology. It was a spacecraft not based on the technologies they originally gave the U.S. government back in Roswell. They're afraid that if we continue researching this technology path, we'll discover secrets the aliens don't want us to have. Something that threatens them." said Hephaestus.

    "Holy shit that was good." Logan leaned the top back on his plastic lawn-lounger and stared up at the stars.

    "Or it coulda been vampires." said Dr. Ahcir.

    "Okay, that's an interesting competing theory, please explain." responded Hephaestus.

    "It's because they don't want humans to expand beyond the home planet. It would give them too many opportunities to harness the power of the sun to wield it against their undead masters." said Dr. Ahcir.

    "Wait, don't you mean OUR undead masters, like as in humans, you know, like US?" asked Logan.

    "Yeah. Of course. I meant like our undead masters, we humans in the unlikely speculative scenario in which these vampires exist." said the Dr.

    "He's admitting the weakness of the scenario. Because it's aliens." said Hephaestus and raised his beer towards Lethe.

    "Or it could be because the vampires are so very old. They're superstitious and they think if humans travel too far from Earth we'll encounter angels or relics of God that we could use to destroy them." offered Osito Polar.

    "Oh someone please kill me, it sounds like another Oso thread about God and the Bible. We get it, you're a stealth-Catholic. Enough, please?" said Polemarch.

    "I just meant that undead monsters who were born hundreds of years ago might believe that stuff. Like imagine Dick Cheney and Glenn Beck but who drink the blood of poor people literally." said Osito.

    "You have to admit, that does sound plausible." said Hephaestus.

    "Yeah." added Dr. Ahcir.

    The conversation was interrupted by a loud chorus of "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT" followed by the bass beats.

    Utisz answered his phone.

    "Uh huh. Yeah, dad."

    "Who's that?" asked tele.

    "MacGuffin." whispered Light Leak.

    "He's Utisz's father?" tele followed up.

    "Considering what an inbred circle-jerk this community is and how long he's been in it, he could be any of our fathers."

    "That must make things awkward for him."

    Light Leak chuckled and went back to eavesdropping on Utisz.

    "Oh, all right. Yeah, sure, we'll come out and meet you there. Sure. Hang on let me write down the GPS coordinates.

    Uh-huh. See you soon."

    "What's up, Cap'n Utisz?" asked tele.

    "Hey! MacGuffin says he found some debris from the downed SpaceshipTwo! He's going to check it out and we can help him bring it back here, whatever it is. Who wants to drive? I can navigate us out there."

    "No. That's a fucking terrible idea." said LowIQLogan.

    "Yeah, really bad." said Lethe.

    "Why? I think it sounds like fun. We'll take pictures! Maybe we'll get to meet Sir Richard Branson." said Utisz.

    "Don't you watch movies? When some guy named MACGUFFIN with a beard goes wandering into the desert ALONE at NIGHT to investigate a DOWNED SPACECRAFT what do you think the odds are that this ends well for us if we investigate his disappearance?" asked Lethe.

    "He's not disappeared." said Utisz.

    "Call him back."

    Utisz did and put it on speakerphone. The INTPs were silent as the phone rang six times, clicked over to a message of

    Three long blubbery sobs of gin-soaked self-loathing followed by a long beep.

    "Yeah, umm ... dad? Call me back. It's Utisz."

    "Right. So. He's disappeared." said Lethe. "Add to my earlier list that he's probably drunk, and in my imagination he pulled a flashlight out of his back pocket in the darkness and when he clicked it on the bulb came on all yellow because he forgot to change the batteries."

    "We've ... got to go after him." said Utisz.

    "We will avenge him!" said Hephaestus.

    "Let's not jump to conclusions." said LowIQLogan.

    "Oh, right. We'll investigate his death and then avenge him." said Hephaestus.

    "Yeah! Stay positive, brother!" said Noir, slapping him on the back. "WE'RE DOING THIS!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    The game has begun!
    Live list:
    1. Dirac
    2. Dot
    3. LowIQLogan
    4. Slab_Bulkhead
    5. Utisz
    6. Osito Polar
    7. Light Leak
    8. lethe
    9. Hephaestus
    10. Dr. Ahcir
    11. Noir
    12. Polemarch
    13. Granny Smith
    14. P-O
    15. tele

    Things you might want to know:
    • I will only count bolded votes made in this thread (and other Day threads I create)
    • Vote is plurality. You can change your vote at any time during the Day.
    • Day 1 ends exactly 48 hours from the time of this post regardless of whether I have announced it. After that no changes to your vote will count.
    • Nights will last 12 hours or until I have received all Night actions.
    • I consider any role from this list fair game.

    Vanilla Townie PM for reasons:
    You are Vanilla Townie,

    You have no powers to overcome the mafia except your vote and your cunning! You win when the Town has eliminated all threats.
    Do not quote my PMs verbatim or use its wording to prove towniness.

    Go forth and kill some space vampires!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Uhh please pause while I address technical difficulties. By that I mean reshuffle roles.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Apologies to all for the confusion. I knew PMing would bite me in the ass some day.

    Old setup if you were interested:

    Spoiler: Roles
    You are the Town's Innocent Child!
    At any point during the game, you can tell me to confirm your alignment publicly. You win when the Town has eliminated all threats.

    You are the Town Cop!
    Every night, you can check a player's alignment to see if they are guilty or innocent. You win when the Town has eliminated all threats.

    You (3) are the Mafia!
    Once every night, you can kill one player. One of you should send me a PM with the name of that player I will take the latest choice. You win when you have eliminated all other parties or when that condition is inevitable.
    You will receive an invitation to join the mafia group shortly.

    You are the Town Vigilante!
    You have 3 kills in total. Every night, you can spend one or more of them to kill other players. You win when the Town has eliminated all threats.

    You are the Mafia Jack-of-all-trades!
    Each Night, you can target a player to either role-block (prevent that player from using any ability), protect (save that player from a kill targeted at them), or role-check (find out whether the player has any role). You can use each ability exactly once.

    Some or all roles have been changed.

    Yes, I am trying out mafia group this time.

  5. #5
    Perfect is Shit LowIQLogan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Still born mafia game never had a chance to live.
    "A new immortal appeared in front of you. Would you like preparations of inception?"

  6. #6
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    2/3 alien babies don't make it
    Don't remember changing this.

  7. #7
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    So here is my thinking:
    I am more afraid a clever monster attacking me than a clumsy human fighting beside me.
    I don't want some crafty genius propping up evil.

    Who would be the most dangerous mafia/monster?
    Don't remember changing this.

  8. #8
    Member Noir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Wait are the Mafia just scummy humans or are they scummy alien invaders?

  9. #9
    Amen P-O's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Polemarch has to be a mafia one of these times.
    Violence is never the right answer, unless used against heathens and monsters.

  10. #10
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    should we take roll?
    chatting on discord

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