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Thread: Things to NOT say to a cop.

  1. #1
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    Things to NOT say to a cop.

    When I dropped my bag of crack, it rolled under the seat. As I reached to get it, my gun fell off my lap and jammed itself between the pedals causing me to drive that fast.

    Why don't we discuss this over a box of doughnuts.

    Don't bother to taser me. I already have a hard-on, see?
    That's my poop stirrin' stick- Don't touch it! You don't know which end is the handle..

  2. #2
    tableau vivant MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    I submit to searches.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  3. #3
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    I'm definitely not mafia.

  4. #4
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    i'm the true cop.

  5. #5
    a cantori Perdix's Avatar
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    "Hey, go fuck yourself, asshole."

    "I'm not inebriated, ossifer."

    "Yeah, but you had to be speeding to catch up to me, soo...."

    "Why were you riding my ass for the past five minutes, don't you know how dangerous that is."

    "Don't you know who I am?!!?"

  6. #6
    Cooler than Jesus
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    Did you know that cops have a lower IQ on average?

    Can you hurry this up? I'm late to the All Pigs Must Die show.

    Look at yourself man, you're just a tool being used by the establishment to protect their capital. Liberate yourself and stop betraying your brothers! You have nothing to lose but these handcuffs!

  7. #7
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. jk I'll let you go this time if you promise not to give me a ticket

    Sorry, but "cops" really aren't my "thing"...I'll still give you a tip though because you are undeniably sexy.

  8. #8
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    "Your lights startled me, I almost spilled my beer."

    "Could you lower your voice? I'm really hung over."

    "Can we hurry this up? My coke dealer doesn't like to be kept waiting."

    "That light wasn't red, it was more of a saturated amber."

  9. #9
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    Creativity is the residue of time wasted. ~ Albert Einstein

  10. #10
    No Blorg's Avatar
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    The colors of stoplights are simply a matter of perception diffused across space-time. I am not accountable for the flux and chaos of the universe.

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