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Thread: Uncertain about type

  1. #1
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Uncertain about type

    Greetings

    I've been struggling to find my right MBTI type for months now. The moment I try to stick with one I start to doubt myself and eventually switch from one to another as I suddenly realize that I don't fit into the descriptions of my previous type at all. I took function tests and they all said something different. People told me those tests weren't reliable because they test for behavior rather than cognitive preferences, and behavior can be very random and depending on life situation and environment.

    I introduced myself here as ESTJ and some people said I'm an unusual one, which added to my doubts I previously had. With my love for chatting and constant need to hang out and communicate, there is no doubt that I am an extrovert. But Si just didn't really apply to me at all, because I keep forgetting to eat & am not very aware of stuff like pain.

    People told me before I'm a very inspiring, dreamy and intuitive person, and for a long time I was wondering that perhaps I might be ENTJ, but Ni didn't mean a lot to me, and I'm not interested in controlling others. I felt a deep connection to my INTP friend, because she always reminded me a lot of myself, though that could have different factors than just type.
    An INFP friend said I'm supposed to love Fi and was very confused when I told him that I usually hate it in others and have zero tolerance for my ISFP friend's feelsy rants, which is mostly about how angry he is at me for being a cold-hearted asshole, and as predicted, the insult itself left me unfazed. I am however very empathic if one of my friends is sad, even if I'm extremely bad at consoling people because I have to force myself to not apply logic reasoning and to stop trying to analyze their feelings.

    Then there's procrastination... It's very difficult for me to get anything done, I even lag behind for months on the things I like to do, which is usually because I get caught in very random thoughts and ideas or start overanalyzing things that are actually pretty useless to my current situation. I probably wouldn't have gotten this far in life without my supportive friends, and forcing myself to get my paperwork done.

    All this indicates that I might be ENTP... but I'm probably not cool enough to be this type.

    How can you really be certain of anything?

  2. #2
    Pull the strings! Architect's Avatar
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    You're looking at behaviors and traits, and probably preferences. Using those are make it almost impossible to determine your type. The reason is because a person can have lots of behaviors that they picked up during life, that may or may not reflect their type. Type is a set of motivations and psychic energy that manifests as functions.

    Study the functions, especially the dominant and inferior. Those two are the best guide (and the auxiliary third, and teritary fourth) to determining your type.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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    Why is it important to find your perfect MBTI box where you can stuff yourself?

  4. #4
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    ^^^I'm gonna go with the softer variant of this question:

    What is your purpose? The amusing flaw in personality tests for yourself is that, given you are the ultimate arbiter of the correctness of the assessment, you won't learn anything about yourself. You will at most learn how much you trust the assessment and the model.

    The question is, what are you trying to do with the model? Kiersey's apparent intent for the model wasn't vanity observations of personal type, but to help different types communicate and interact with one another. That makes learning about other types more important than your own. Dontcha think?

    The pigeonhole lament however, is one people should just get over. You can and will be pigeonholed by other people, with and without justification, because not only is it fucking easier, it isn't particularly wrong. The common case is and always will be: you aren't worth getting to know as an individual. No one ever is.
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

  5. #5
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Kinda feels weird to be asked those questions on a MBTI forum where everyone is using type tags under their avatars.

    I, and people around me, are having problems with my personality, so I want to find "my" type to help me understand myself better and work on these problems, because I'm not very in tune with my inner feelings, so they alone can't assist me in that.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Thoth's Avatar
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    I'm no typology expert, but an observation. You seem to place a great deal of consideration into how others feel/see you and make judgements based on this information. I specifically say "feel" because your posting personality thus far doesn't strike me as indicative of Te, and certainly not of Ti.

    While Te can come off as more feely due to a certain polling quality they can take to collecting information from others sources, they remain rather objective in how they analyze and express that information. A Ti would have long identified their type before even posting on the board.

    To Architect's point (if I'm on the same page), identifying the dominate mode of thinking is going to be more helpful in identifying type. I'm and Fi, but I've been called grossly pragmatic in situations of critical thinking. Similarly, I'm sure it's not as if a Ti has never leaped before looking just because it felt right.

  7. #7
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Kinda feels weird to be asked those questions on a MBTI forum where everyone is using type tags under their avatars.

    I, and people around me, are having problems with my personality, so I want to find "my" type to help me understand myself better and work on these problems, because I'm not very in tune with my inner feelings, so they alone can't assist me in that.
    Buuut, if there are identified problems, how will a type description (which by nature is primarily tautology for the person it describes) help? It's not going to present you with solutions. At best it will simply acknowledge that those sorts of problems exist--which isn't a means for resolving them. If anything, it's a handy way to not resolve them, because it insinuates to your subconscious that those problems aren't really problems. They're just "who you are", which means they need not be worked on, merely masked or excused.

    If you think these problems are something you can or should work on, I think you would be better served by trying to understand the cognitive functions, or by trying to understand types not your own. I would encourage the former over the latter, and not just because the former informs the latter. It's more useful--type descriptions are, at best, second-hand thinking about how the cognitive functions interact in a reasonably consistent hierarchy based on anecdotal evidence.

    This probably seems odd, given the nature of the forum. It probably seems like I'm trashing MBTI, but I'm not. I'm pointing out some of the limitations that people often overlook because they already have an internal model of what they think the model should be. It's a descriptive model, not a predictive one.

    Seriously, if your problem is interacting with people, you'll get more mileage out of understanding other people than you will out of understanding yourself more deeply.

    Also, remember that you are young. Sorry to remind you of this, but you are, and so are most of the people you are interacting with. Difficulties arise because you are not the only person involved who is still figuring out how to interact. Other people don't know themselves--or other people--either.

    Consider:

    You're talking to someone and they burst into tears. You think back over the conversation and you remember you were last talking about cookies. Are they crying because:

    1) The last thing they did with their now deceased parents is make cookies.
    2) They're trying to diet but they keep failing because they have a nasty eating disorder, and the mention of cookies reminded them of last night's binge.
    3) As with (2), but instead of reminding them of a binge it reminds them they've gone three weeks without a binge, and it's an overwhelming discovery.
    4) As with (3) but instead of being overwhelmed by success, they're overwhelmed with the realization this conversation has triggered an imminent binge.
    5) They had a puppy named "Cookie" that was snatched from their leash by an eagle while out for a walk.
    6) Because they're a serious introvert and they haven't had a break from people for so long their ability to cope is breaking down.
    7) They're a serious extrovert and they've felt alone for so long that this conversation about cookies is turning out to be an enormous relief.
    8) They've just been stung in the gonads by a hornet.


    See the limitation?


    But more importantly, assholes come in all types, and knowing you're being an asshole is independent of knowing whether you're an INTP or an ESFJ--and neither type of asshole is assisted by knowing their MBTI type, because all types are capable of interacting nicely or cruelly with other people. The tricky bit is, some of the behaviors that a type might generally be annoyed by (and there will be many many exceptions because there are only trends, not rules), knowing your type is irrelevant to working that out--it's only relevant if your intent is to excuse your behavior. If you want to work on your interactions with other people, the key is: learn about other people.


    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    Similarly, I'm sure it's not as if a Ti has never leaped before looking just because it felt right.
    Hah. Absolutely--by which I mean "pretty much always", even when it doesn't look like it. The thing about Ti is eventually you conclude you can't ever know as much as you think you need to know to make the right decision. Sooner or later, you have to jump, or nothing will happen.

    The funny thing is, it can look impulsive. But for me, spontaneity doesn't just "happen". It's planned well in advance, if only as a rough outline. I'm not the sort to leave spontaneity to chance.
    I'm suspicious of people who say they'll die for a flag but won't wear a mask for their neighbor.

  8. #8
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    I'm no typology expert, but an observation. You seem to place a great deal of consideration into how others feel/see you and make judgements based on this information. I specifically say "feel" because your posting personality thus far doesn't strike me as indicative of Te, and certainly not of Ti.
    Pretty sure that's an extroversion thing, I've read about it many times. I'd laugh to call myself a feeler, I'm everything BUT a feeler. Feelings are the thing I've been hopelessly trying to develop since years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    While Te can come off as more feely due to a certain polling quality they can take to collecting information from others sources, they remain rather objective in how they analyze and express that information. A Ti would have long identified their type before even posting on the board.
    I had typed myself long before I joined this board in the name of the ESTJs, (see my introduction thread) though I was always a bit confused about my functions as the test said I use both Te and Ti, which later indicated to me that in my martyr-ness I must have begun forcing one of them onto myself at some point in my life, mostly out of fear of being useless forever and disappointing others. In other words, I did a lot of tests and research, looked around for more clues and asked others how they perceive me because I think that my self-perception can probably not be trusted, as brains often try to make us believe things that are not true.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    To Architect's point (if I'm on the same page), identifying the dominate mode of thinking is going to be more helpful in identifying type. I'm and Fi, but I've been called grossly pragmatic in situations of critical thinking. Similarly, I'm sure it's not as if a Ti has never leaped before looking just because it felt right.
    There's a huge difference between Fi/Se/Ni/Te and Fi/Ne/Si/Te, and even though both their Ti is in the negatives, they can find ways to come to logical conclusions, if they know how. I guess an important aspect are that one does that through Se/Ni (perception, meaning of things and conspiracy), the other through Ne/Si (considering all possibilities and comparing to past experiences). I'll leave the rest to you. (gtg now)

  9. #9
    Senior Member Thoth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    I'll leave the rest to you. (gtg now)
    Like I said, I'm going off what you present because I don't actually know you personally. Thus far I'd go with Architect's advice if it's something you believe needs further exploration.

    From my experience, just because someone is blunt or reacts differently than the social norm does not necessarily make them unfeeling or unthinking. Only you can really answer that for yourself.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    ^^^I'm gonna go with the softer variant of this question:

    What is your purpose? The amusing flaw in personality tests for yourself is that, given you are the ultimate arbiter of the correctness of the assessment, you won't learn anything about yourself. You will at most learn how much you trust the assessment and the model.

    The question is, what are you trying to do with the model?
    I originally thought about writing a longer post but couldn't be bothered Thanks for elaborating.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Kinda feels weird to be asked those questions on a MBTI forum where everyone is using type tags under their avatars.
    It's not weird at all to ask why you are trying to find the perfect MBTI type for yourself. If you are trying to find a perfect description of yourself from an outside source then there must be some reason behind your quest.

    Type descriptions deal with generalities and are probably never completely accurate. If someone reads a description of an INTP they still will not know me.

    Even when people use type descriptions here you might notice that many don't really talk that much about MBTI and some have written that they don't think their type descriptions are accurate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    I, and people around me, are having problems with my personality, so I want to find "my" type to help me understand myself better and work on these problems, because I'm not very in tune with my inner feelings, so they alone can't assist me in that.
    If your personality is causing problems you probably already have at least some inklings what the problems are. If you are aware that there are problems then you can work on them even though you don't know your specific type. You will not find a magical solution to your problems from MBTI.

    ... and I'm too lazy to read back but I think I just repeated what @Hephaestus wrote earlier. I'm also too lazy to edit so there you go. Rinse and repeat...

    What do you think about enneagrams? It might be helpful to try different personality typing systems. Using MBTI only may be limiting. No personality typing system is perfectly accurate.

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