View Poll Results: How old are your closest friends (outside of the internet)

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  • Younger than me

    0 0%
  • About the same age as me

    7 58.33%
  • up to 10 years older than me

    1 8.33%
  • up to +10 years and beyond

    4 33.33%
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Thread: Friendship Age

  1. #1
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Friendship Age

    Hi!

    So I've been thinking about my circle of friends IRL and at some point I realized they're usually older than me, up to 30 years in age difference.

    Who do I call a friend? Someone I really enjoy talking to, and who shows me they value me by seeking my company in return.

    So what does this mean? Do I prefer older people's company because they are more mature, because they are wiser, because they often seem more contained and friendly, or because I think I can learn something valuable from them? I can't tell specifically, but it's probably all of them.

    Have you noticed similar patterns in your friends' age? And what do you think does this say about your own mental age?
    Last edited by Sol4rplexus; 12-21-2014 at 12:21 PM.

  2. #2
    Merry Christmas Blorg's Avatar
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    I tend to be intimidated by people who are older than me. Also, I've found that older people are more likely to condescend/patronize (though I might have a skewed sample). I frequently encounter condescension and I have increasingly little tolerance for it. Most of my friends are about my age.

    I don't know what that says about my mental age, if anything. I don't have a static maturity level. I'm very immature and mature at the same time (in different ways). Maybe it averages out so that's why my friends are the same age as me.
    "Better not to feel too much until the crisis ends—and if it never ends, at least we’ll have suffered a little less, developed a useful dullness...The constant—and very real—fear of being hurt, the fear of death, of intolerable loss, or even of “mere” humiliation, leads each of us, the citizens and prisoners of the conflict, to dampen our own vitality, our emotional and intellectual range, and to cloak ourselves in more and more protective layers until we suffocate." - Toni Morrison

  3. #3
    Member Zephyrus's Avatar
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    My friends overwhelmingly tend to be a few years older than me, and I never figured out why that is.

  4. #4
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    usually around my age to slightly older (5-ish years) as long as they've completed undergrad or aren't still stuck in some stifling, toxic school environment. having experienced the post-college "crush" of reality seems to deal a pretty major blow to one's former immaturity. many people get more relaxed and learn to enjoy themselves while letting go of the old mindset of total dependence on school to pull them along. they seem more established as individuals and more realistic, and their activities and interests more genuine.

    that's where i am, though. i actually tried dating people around my age who were still in college when i finished and found it stifling. i've developed rly negative associations with college cuz it makes me so unhealthy.

    regarding mental age, i consider myself very much my age.
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 12-21-2014 at 06:07 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    Some are a 10-14 years older. A couple my age. A few 10 years younger.

    Most of the friends I grew up with, as well as those I typically meet who are my age, are married w/kids. That severely limits the extent of our friendship.

    I've often had older friends. I wouldn't mind having more younger friends but it's hard not feeling like I need to be more than who I am when around some younger people sometimes.

  6. #6
    .: PERSISTENCE IS ALL :. Pan_Sonic_000's Avatar
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    I have friends of every age, if by friend you mean someone who I'm genuinely fond of spending time with and vice versa. But I think because of sheer logistics and overlap in lifestyles, most of them are my age.

    But I like talking to anyone who's not a fucking idiot and wants to discuss ideas they've had or authentic experiences that are worth mining for interesting details. Some kids are like that, actually. My niece is 10 and smart as hell, but she has no sounding board her age. So we'll talk about geology and space and culture. It's still with a kid, but it's amazing to see how they process the same stuff you are, just in a different way. They give the information a different shape.

    Some old folks are like that as well.
    Wild skies
    Full moon and thoughts collide
    We look for answers in those catatonic, bloodshot eyes
    A steady stream of madness
    Rises to a flood...

    ...The clock is ticking for Bad Blood

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