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Thread: Little rants that don't deserve their own thread

  1. #11411
    Cooler than Jesus
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    The case of the disappearing comb (2020)

    Today, my comb teleported into another dimension. I had it in my beard and I'd sort of forgotten about it there, and was going out onto the balcony to check on my plants when it fell out. It made one single bounce, and that was it. Disappeared. I looked over the side of the balcony, didn't see it on the ground. Didn't land in a plant somewhere. Didn't land on my lounge chair. I even went down to the ground to check thoroughly within a wide radius, but no. No chance it landed on a roof, and there's no neighbor's balconies it could have gone to. It's just... gone. It was a good comb, too.

  2. #11412
    Senior Member Sir Caveat's Avatar
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    Too bad you couldn't untangle the mystery and have to take it on the chin. Sounds like you thoroughly combed the area. Maybe you came within a hair of it but just didn't see it.
    You hide behind caveats and modifiers. - Lurker

  3. #11413
    Senior Member roki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NedLudd View Post
    Today, my comb teleported into another dimension. I had it in my beard and I'd sort of forgotten about it there, and was going out onto the balcony to check on my plants when it fell out. It made one single bounce, and that was it. Disappeared. I looked over the side of the balcony, didn't see it on the ground. Didn't land in a plant somewhere. Didn't land on my lounge chair. I even went down to the ground to check thoroughly within a wide radius, but no. No chance it landed on a roof, and there's no neighbor's balconies it could have gone to. It's just... gone. It was a good comb, too.
    Have you checked in your beard?
    god's gift

  4. #11414
    Senior Member Sir Caveat's Avatar
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    Another place to check is the brush.
    You hide behind caveats and modifiers. - Lurker

  5. #11415
    Senior Member Limes's Avatar
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    Getting tired of hearing people breathe heavily into unmuted microphones, also loud children and kitchen activity in the background on conference calls and people saying, "sorry, I was on mute"

    GTFO, you over-estimate your own importance and contribution.

  6. #11416
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    So my Neurophysiology appointment has been postponed.... Indefinitely.

    This is bullshit.

    The NHS is soooo backed up, I think it will ultimately collapse under the pressure when things resume.

    Northern Ireland said their backlog is "Herculean".
    All truth passes through three stages:

    First, it is ridiculed.
    Second, it is violently opposed.
    Third, it is accepted as self-evident.


  7. #11417
    Cooler than Jesus
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    I seem to get more attention from the opposite sex when I'm wearing a mask. I'd be flattered if I weren't so offended. Where was this pandemic when I was younger?

  8. #11418
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NedLudd View Post
    I seem to get more attention from the opposite sex when I'm wearing a mask. I'd be flattered if I weren't so offended. Where was this pandemic when I was younger?
    Might not be the mask--might just be what has been given the creepy name of skin hunger.
    "Just because it's 2020 doesn't mean everyone has perfect vision."--catchphrase of a fictional comedian in some movie

  9. #11419
    Cooler than Jesus
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    I think "skin hunger" is the name of the disease that follows COVID-19

  10. #11420
    Senior Member roki's Avatar
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    I've had 20/20 or better vision until recently, which is funny because it's 2020 and Heph's signature. Anyway. My right eye has progressively been getting more blurry, and of course I suspect ocular melanoma first because I have an offwhite colored spot in my sclera. Why do I suspect ocular melanoma first? Because my Nissan Altima dash panel ring around my radio screen is shiny ass reflective material that beams the fucking sunlight right into my right eye. I'm scheduling an appointment with the eye dude. Let it be known that if it is in fact eye cancer, it is 110% from shitty design and I will be suing Nissan over it.
    god's gift

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