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Thread: Little rants that don't deserve their own thread

  1. #10131
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    Oh no. You're not watching that outlander trite aren't you. Every time I hear a bad Scottish accent coming from a woman at a con, I've learned to run away before the 50 shades of Scotsman talk starts.
    Mr. Doohan ironically approves this message.
    People think they understand their own mortality, even when that understanding has just changed.

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  2. #10132
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    My cousin's annoyed me (the immature one with the 12 yo son). We we're just chatting last week, when I got round to talking about finances and told her we were struggling with all the cost of the move & work being done on the house, but she **somehow** misconstrued what I was saying (I don't know how) and said "I got nothing, could you lend me anything?" So I reiterated that we were hard up, Rev was currently out of work, and my mom was helping with our costs.

    Then she popped in for a coffee the next day, but she asked if we had any food. This was a day before the new cooker was being delivered, so we only had sandwich & microwave food, which I told her to help herself to. Wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact everytime she's turned up in the last few years, she and her son are hungry. Gets to a point where you already know she wants food.

    Anyway, I noticed on Facebook that it was her son's birthday the other day. He turned 12. Only noticed because my uncle's partner wished him happy birthday on my cousins wall. My cousin hadn't posted anything about his birthday.

    Anyway, yesterday she calls me as says "mind if I come and do a couple of loads of washing at yours? My machines broke and I don't have the money for the launderette".

    I said "yeah, sure.. I'd lend you cash, but I've only got a tight budget till such and such a date"..( I'm not sure if my maternity pay has now stopped, or whether my last payment is in August, but either way, I've got to plan for a new budget now, which is exceptionally tight until Rev's back in work).

    Anyway she arrives, only her "two loads" of laundry is like 6 loads of laundry . She arrives with her kid, so I offer them both lunch, which evidently she was hoping for anyway.

    Whilst she's here she starts bitching about some things including 1) being broke 2) her sort of boyfriend moaning about laundry not being done 3) her "business partner"

    She's chronically broke because she refuses to get an actual job and keeps trying (and failing) to make money via self employment as a beauty technician. She has zero business acumen and is always at a loss. Baffles me. She was moaning because she and another lady are working together, they have an event coming up and my cousins annoyed because her business partner is asking her to pay half the costs of their latest business event coming up. My cousin was like

    "But she wants me to pay half for this event we are running. It's okay for her, she has a job, and a second job, she's got money coming in and can pay the costs. I've been doing my courses (Uni) and don't have any money until my grants come in Sept. My priority is to feed my son, how am I supposed to do that?!"

    And I'm just thinking "Go and get a job you fucking bum! And stop pissing all your money up the wall'"

    But I shake my head and say "I dunno cuz... I wouldn't be doing what you're doing. I'd work an actual job, so I know my hours and know my wage, know when I'm getting my money"

    She said (noticing my disapproval) "I know, but I can make money doing what I do... I just need these courses to be finished and then I can get on my feet".

    Whatever. Same old same old. Always making stupid decisions at the expense of her sons childhood. Studying some sort mickey-mouse course anyway.

    Then she started bitching about her sort of, sort of not "boyfriend". From my perspective he's been using her as a place to get his head down, and for the occasional shag. When she met him, he had 1 baby momma, but as recently as a couple of months ago, he now has 2 baby mommas... and my cousin wants to be his 3rd baby momma.

    I don't even know where to begin with this. What she sees in this man is beyond me. He doesn't work a day job, he sells drugs, and sleeps between his momma's house, his (various) baby mommas houses, my cousins house and his "boys" houses.

    My cousin's an attractive women, who apart from being TERRIBLE with money, is quite good at many things. I don't know why she hasn't met a DECENT man, and settled down for her son's sake. Baffles me.

    Anyway, she came round to collect her laundry today. The Ice cream van pulled up outside the house and her son asked for an ice cream. She said she had no money, typically. So I gave him some money and he went and got an ice cream.

    I then gave him a birthday card with just £10 in it, as I'd forgot about his birthday before. I'd have give him more, but I really can't stretch to more. Just stocked up on everything the baby needs, and have a tight food budget to ourselves.

    She saw me give him the card and she said "you ain't give him any pocket money have you? He's not allowed pocket money right now".

    I said "It's a bit of Birthday money, I'd like to do more, I just can't right now" (for his benefit).

    She turned to him and was like "you'll have to give it to me, I'll keep hold of it".

    I'm just stood there wondering how much of a sad bitch have you got to be to tell your kid he can't have his birthday money?!

    I doubt she even got him anything for his birthday.

    I was annoyed at Rev because he bought the most generic crap card in the local shop at the time.. but ultimately I didn't think it would matter, because who actually cares about cards?

    But I noticed as he (the kid) left, he was really chuffed with that card and held into it like it was gold. Poor kid.

    My Uncles partner is quite familiar with my cousins (inadequate) style of parenting and always feels guilty for him too.

    He doesn't want much in life. Just the basics. A room he can call his own (not shred with his uncles coming & going) a games console, regular meals and maybe something for his birthday.

    Don't get me wrong, he's not starved.. but sometimes he might have to be dragged around all day until mommy's found a solution for dinner.

    Meanwhile, she paid for herself to go to Jamaica the other month. Left him with somebody else whilst she enjoyed herself.

    She's got one other close friend who does this. (Not her business partner, her business partner is smart and probably doesn't approve). I saw the other friend getting laid into on social media about this the other week. Her baby father called her a skank, for frequently spending her rent money out in nightclubs.

    Bleh. What can I do? My job as a cousin is to support them both. I express my disapproval subtly.. how do you tell people that they are a shit parent without causing a serious argument?
    Last edited by Sinny; 07-21-2019 at 06:27 PM.
    Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

    ~ Robert Jackson, Statesman (1892-1954)


  3. #10133
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    I keep getting fucking kicked offline everytime I'm balls deep 800XP with 45 secs left of fucking splatoon

    I'm sick of this god damn DSL FUCKING INTERNET

    YES I HAVE DSL IN 2019


    SOMEONE SHOOT ME

    PUT ME OUT OF MY.MISERY

  4. #10134
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinny View Post
    Bleh. What can I do? My job as a cousin is to support them both. I express my disapproval subtly.. how do you tell people that they are a shit parent without causing a serious argument?
    This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me think people should be forced to get a parenting license once they have kids, or at least be monitored by the state a whole lot more than they are.

    I know plenty of people who are completely unaware of the peace of mind it means to get a fucking job, but at least they don't have kids. Boggles my mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

  5. #10135
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me think people should be forced to get a parenting license once they have kids, or at least be monitored by the state a whole lot more than they are.

    I know plenty of people who are completely unaware of the peace of mind it means to get a fucking job, but at least they don't have kids. Boggles my mind.
    I agree, I think people should require a license.. The problem here in Britain (maybe most the western world), is that the state are either too involved, or not involved enough, often through the inefficiency of the system and understaffing, poor training & funding cuts.

    I've seen good parents have to battle with the state to prove they are good parents, and I've seen shit parents, flying completely under the radar.

    I commented recently about the lack of state involvement with me & the baby. I thought they were going to be more intrusive than they were, but they done their minimal visits and left us alone.

    The paperwork describes how they are supposed to check I'm doing x, y & z... But they only checked like 20% of the list off and said they had no concerns.

    I mentioned this to Rev (who had far more state involvement in his other kids lives) and he said it's because there are no concerns. They were happy enough to see the home organised with the precision of somebody who suffers OCD.

    I said "yeah, but psychopaths are more likely to have OCD, so shouldn't they still be paying close attention?!"

    He said "I shan't imagine they come across many psychopath parents".

    But it is interesting, put on a happy enough "front" for them, and they'll leave you alone.

    I never mentioned that me & Rev were in a bad place, and I never mentioned that I have difficult days. Obviously, I don't want the state involved in my life.

    I haven't gone to the doctor's about my BPD, because it's not something I want on my medical files. I'm glad I made that decision, after hearing about my friends experience in this regard.

    She was recently (last year) diagnosed BPD, after several incorrect (or correct in general) diagnoses of depression & anxiety.

    Without her knowledge the doctor's informed social services and she had to fight really hard to convince them that because she had her own issues, it didn't make her a bad parent. (And she's not, she's on of the best parents I know).

    On the hands the services were quite involved with Rev & his ex.. his ex has "bipolar" & "schizoid" tendancies (that he also didn't make clear), so they were all over her like a rash.. also all over Rev for his messy/lazy/permissive style of parenting.

    I read the reports and the services weren't happy about their time keeping, absences, messy home and poor choice in clothing (for example Rev would allow the children to wear whatever they wanted, regardless if it was appropriate or not)... Though there has never been any abuse towards the children, who are actually thoroughly indulged.

    They get spoilt, but do not know the value not chores or responsibility. Makes me shudder.

    I think it would help if the services put themselves back into my cousins life. They're only really interested in young (up to 5) children, at the age of 12 they'll generally be left alone now. Somebody needs to tell my cousin that she needs to take financial responsibility.

    Obviously, I can't involve the services as it's the most cardinal sin against family, and they'll blow it completely out of proportion, whilst not actually offering the real help that she would need.

    Her son's not stupid. He'll leave school early and go get his own job.. but I can't imagine he'll look back on his childhood with much delight.

    I don't know how a parent can do this.. having just had my own, I'm rearranging my whole lifestyle inorder to give her the most security possible.
    Last edited by Sinny; Today at 08:34 AM.
    Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

    ~ Robert Jackson, Statesman (1892-1954)


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