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Thread: Little rants that don't deserve their own thread

  1. #11421
    Senior Member Limes's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by roki View Post
    I've had 20/20 or better vision until recently, which is funny because it's 2020 and Heph's signature. Anyway. My right eye has progressively been getting more blurry, and of course I suspect ocular melanoma first because I have an offwhite colored spot in my sclera. Why do I suspect ocular melanoma first? Because my Nissan Altima dash panel ring around my radio screen is shiny ass reflective material that beams the fucking sunlight right into my right eye. I'm scheduling an appointment with the eye dude. Let it be known that if it is in fact eye cancer, it is 110% from shitty design and I will be suing Nissan over it.
    It could be that you're pushing too hard during bowel movements. Where on the Bristol stool scale are you generally? - can you describe the colour too?

  2. #11422
    Cooler than Jesus
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Quote Originally Posted by Limes View Post
    It could be that you're pushing too hard during bowel movements. Where on the Bristol stool scale are you generally? - can you describe the colour too?
    She's eating nothing but cans of beans, must be like a torpedo attack happening 24 times a day.

  3. #11423
    Senior Member roki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    The Walmart vision center website said they're open 10-2 today. I drove there, and the lights were off. I was pretty pissed off, but no one else would be open either. The bump looks like pinguecula. I am hoping that it is pinguecula and I have astigmatism unrelated to the presence of said pinguecula. Otherwise I think it is intraocular melanoma. I'm going to an actual opthamologist some way some how this week if it's the last thing I do. I hope I don't have brain cancer either. Or any cancer.

    The beans don't make me fart more than usual. And since I've quit smoking and drinking 3L of soda per day and a fuckton of beer, my stools are finally formed. I haven't had a solid shit in years (except pregnancy). Now I only have 1-2 solid ones in the morning when I used to have 5-10 liquid shits over the span of two hours every single morning. TMI, but idgaf. I probably have a short time to live after they diagnose me with whatever cancer that caused the secondary cancer in my eye. Fuck this here's more bitching.

    Now that I think about it, I'm on week 3 or 4 of exclusively drinking water or tea instead of exclusively soda and beer, not smoking any cigarettes versus a pack per day, limiting my sugar intake, eating healthy shit instead of McDonalds 5x a week, and taking a multivitamin... and my body saw the opportunity to thank me by taking these nutrients/extra water in a smokeless environment to give more blood to my uterus resulting in hellish menstrual cycles. But that's not it. The 'Ferrari with a huge bow on top parked in the driveway' for me was my body taking all the extra goodies I've been giving it to form a fucking cancer kernel in my sclera and blur my vision.

    My appt is Thursday and I have altered my self diagnosis to "surface squamous neoplasia," let's hope I'm wrong
    Last edited by roki; 05-26-2020 at 03:19 PM.
    god's gift

  4. #11424
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    These "white claws" and this "truly" and whatever else- I feel like Zima is gonna come back. What the fuck was in that stuff anyway? I feel like the taste is still in my mouth from 1993 NO MATTER HOW MUCH HPV HAS BEEN IN THERE

  5. #11425
    Cancerous autism in a can Eli Porter's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Atlanta, GA
    our lives converge again - drank a middle eastern near beer just last week ... then choked down several pounds of afghani lamb kabobs. the garden is coming along nicely. is there a way to turn this into a complaint? damnit it's 2:41 am. got school tomorrow. ptah's fault.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post

  6. #11426
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    1187 at Hundertwasser

  7. #11427
    Member aiyanah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    i am done trying to save the american negro man from himself. first there must be a fall, a tragic one, but a necessary one. this is a truth i have ignored long enough, but no more.
    this animal proves again and again
    to be the most programmable, easily misled, dopey ass motherfuckering specimen on the planet that i simply wash my hands of the whole affair.
    my mistake.
    thinking this negro could think for himself.
    my fucking mistake, i hold my hands up for not listening to better advice, that one's on me.
    but when suddenly some unliberated negro thinks just because a police chief said that george floyd had a criminal record, and in an instant it's alright to these step-it-fetch-it negroes that he got executed in broad daylight in the streets.
    ok, that was the observation i clearly needed. the metaphysics pulled through, showed me what i needed to see, and now i can watch this show from afar with a clean conscience.

    that's the thought we're running with? in the middle of race riots, a caucasian states that a criminal record was had, from over a decade ago, and so suddenly public executions by asphyxiation are excused? fuck it release derek chauvin from custody, drop the charges too, the negro has stated what he wants and it would be remiss to debate him on it.
    aight then, i'll let MLK and Malcolm X roll in their graves as they observe the disintegration of the black man's logos because it's evidently too fucking hard for these animals to view events macrocosmically. so be it.
    when any tom, dick and harry can undo years of black thought by not even addressing the crux of the issue when it is recorded on film from various angles, and these animal negroes can instantly take that word as the gospel as though god himself delivered it in a field of fire, then it's fucking over.
    there's no saving these animals, my time is better spent elsewhere, and you know what i should thank that brother for letting me know that the optics do not matter to him.
    better off joining the SPCA at least those animals can be fucking saved and won't mince bones about it.

    just for posterity, should people be rioting/looting? no they should not.
    but as ever people will riot when they believe they are unheard, also when agent provocateurs are in play just like the harlem riots but that's too much complexity to introduce to these negroes.
    but uncle coon step-it-fetch-it yes massah slave nigger over here is a-ok with public executions even when the authorities aren't being resisted.
    fine by me, thankfully i am far removed from such a real time tragedy, that shit ain't my reality, simply one i look into cause as ever babylon has some sway over what happens across the world.
    honestly gobsmacked.
    10 seconds of unrelated audio and information can convince this monkey that it's ok to see a man executed in broad daylight.

    release chauvin, acquit him of his charges, rescind all the firings and suspensions, give them men their salaries ffs they was clearly just doing their jobs.
    send in the military, quell the riots, and slave them niggers to build all that property again.
    that's the only way now, that's what this step-it-fetch-it unicorn negro wants. surely

    that was good therapy.

  8. #11428
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Birmingham, UK
    Somehow had a big falling out with my mom today, I say "somehow" because I didn't fucking do anything wrong - she just totally blew up on me.
    Been spending the last few weeks as quality time with baby and extended family, keeping my cousins busy and occupied in the lead up to their moms funeral, between that I've been running errands for my mom nonstop and doing more work on her house & gardens.

    She's pissing me off because for the last few weeks she's been in some regressed immature mood. She's smoking a hellalot of weed.... and that's pissing me off. She's far too high for a granny! She didn't used to smoke this much, but now she's smoking a lot. She has just lost her sister - but she needs to grow up. She's spent the best part of three weeks chatting pure bollox to anyone who'll listen, and she's just had to be the centre of attention whenever we're in a group setting. Some days I forget she's a raging narcissist - then others days I'm starkly reminded. The other day she talked so much at me that by the end of the night I actually couldn't complete a single thought without being interrupted. I was utterly bombarded. My head was gonna explode.

    Been working for her all week. Then she's banging on about wanting new garden chairs, really really wanting them now. So I called her today and said "Just taking the baby for her vaccinations, do you wanna go get your chairs afterwards?". She said yeah. Then I spoke to my cousin who said she needed a lift to the funeral home, so I told my mom I'd be delayed 30 minutes or so. She grumbled rudely about that, to which I was stunned, what's more important than your sisters funeral? Your otherwise empty schedule?

    Ended up going to the same named store she wanted but not quite the location she wanted, went to one with a garden centre so I could get veg for my new attempts at growing vegetables. She moaned at that. She moaned in the store when I asked if we could be quick because I was developing a bladder emergency. The store had sold out of the chairs she wanted. She moaned at that. Then we had to detour to a garage to repair a punctured tyre. She moaned at that. Then whilst at the garage she received a call from the hospital my brother is in to tell her he'd ran away again. She started ffing and blinding at the nurse and I had to take over the call and apologise. The nurse brought me up to speed (usual scenario). I gave my mom her phone back and said "mom, you can't keep yelling at staff like that" (she done the same with the council a few days before). She didn't like hearing that so then started screaming at me in the garage telling me I've got an attitude problem and that I'm trying to "dominate her". I said "Yelling in a garage now, grow up".

    On the drive back she literally told me ten times in the space of ten minutes she was annoyed we didn't go to the shop location she wanted. I took a deep breath and said calmly "I know, you've told me ten times now... but I needed to get things done too and we needed the garage". She fell silent for a little while but then I got a call off my mom's neighbour who said she had picked my om up two new chairs whilst she was out. I thanked her and said she'd saved me a job. I told my mom and all she could do was moan that she only 2 and not 4. I told my mom that "thanks" would have been the appropriate response. She then blew up again and started screaming a load of nonsense at me. This went on for a few minutes when I decided I wasn't tolerating being yelled at by her when I hadn't done anything wrong. We pulled over and I made her get out the car and walk the rest of the way home (about another 10 minute walk). Stupid bitch. I get that she displaces her anger, but she's so vile and narcissistic, I genuinely don't get how the woman has kept so many friends over the years (she's vile to them too).

    I would avoid her for the next week, but unfortunately we've all got to be at the funeral home for a viewing tomorrow. I'm not apologising to her, and in fact, I might stop bringing the baby over unless she agrees to stop chonging weed like Bob Marley and acting like a 15 year old school girl.
    All truth passes through three stages:

    First, it is ridiculed.
    Second, it is violently opposed.
    Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

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