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Thread: Hate Watching

  1. #1
    Bringer of Jollity MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    Hate Watching

    I hadn't heard the term "Hate Watching" until NBC's recent Peter Pan fiasco, but I've been doing it for years. You watch something bad for the purpose of condescension, pioneered in popular culture by mst3k, with an honorable mention to Elvira. I resent myself for doing it but I can't turn away from certain terrible movies. I can ignore Sharknado because it's contrived failure. I thirst for earnest collapse. The Room is probably the best example of this, and is the Citizen Kane of hate-watching.

    Obviously, I should be reading books my dead Russians instead of watching God is Not Dead but for the love of absurdity the movie culminates at a
    Spoiler: spoiler
    fucking Newsboys concert!
    What causes me to revel in horrible movies that are better movies than I will ever make?

    Is it just that true earnestness can only can only culminate in slipping on a banana peel? Do I tell myself that to insulate my fragile heart from pursuing intimacy? What are some really bad movies with a warm gooey center I can waste my time watching?

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    This is vaguely like a convo I had yesterday w/someone. She was one to quickly leave a movie and demand her money back or a pass to see something else. Whereas I'll usually suffer through it to see if it'll improve. Or, like in the case of Perfume, completely implode. A movie can be bad to me for various reasons. Let's Be Cops I hated because they didn't even try to do anything remotely original. Tree of Life was one I was definitely ready to vacate but was there with other people and supposed to meet up w/them after the film. As it turned out, we all hated it but didn't want to leave because we weren't sure what the other 3 thought of it as it was going on. Which, there have been a couple of times I've been stuck in screenings and there's no way for me to gracefully get out. Either that or logistically bound. "Don't worry about me. I'll find a way home" "You sure? Do buses run this late out here?" "It's OK, I think I need to walk this off." Cloverfield was one such movie. I was rooting for the monster, those people could not die fast enough!

    Fresh I thought was pretty heinous but the ending actually redeemed it.

    One thing I learned from an early lower-llevel class I had was the prof saying "Whenever you hear someone badmouth a movie, rush out as fast as you can to see it to try to figure out what went wrong." I find I do go into analysis mode if I'm watching something that starts to get sucky. Can't say I always go see the known bad ones, like Twilight.

    What are some bad ones?? Caddyshack II. Theater needed to be quarantined after that played. I remember way back when seeing Bo Derek as Jane in Tarzan. Jade, which I can't remember if it was worse than Sliver but it got the ball rolling on doing in Joe Eszterhas' $4 Million for a couple of pages of notes career. Not sure I cared one way or another about him but at least the over stylized and over written sexual thriller genre was relegated back to Cinemax, which would at least have the decency to fake a money shot by showing contorting O-faces in their films.

    I'm sure I'll have more as they come to me.

  3. #3
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    As far as I recall, I've only hate-watched a single film in my life, which was 1990: The Bronx Warriors. Curiosity had been sparked by an outrageously delightful film review by out_my_window at the old place five or six years ago. I was not disappointed. It really was the worst film I've ever seen even worse than German made-for-TV movies, and that should really say it all.

    MJ, I wouldn't actually recommend watching it. It's one of those things after which one inevitably asks themselves, "Who's going to give me back these two hours of my life?!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Spartan26 View Post
    Theater needed to be quarantined after that played.
    Lately I keep wondering whether you happen to have any Austrian ancestry.

  4. #4
    Not sure I remember you there, who were you on intpc?

    Anyway, pretty much any Godfrey Ho movie. Ex. Ninja Terminator.

  5. #5
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    If and when I watch Olympic events, I watch waiting...no, wanting... to see spectacular failure. Otherwise, I watch it just to deride all the stupidity involved in the games (and everyone/everything involved with them) overall. I admire human accomplishment, but not such myopically focused, SJ-shot-through, crowd-pleasing bullshit. Errant, farcical stupidity that ought to fail, and fail hard.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sappho View Post
    As far as I recall, I've only hate-watched a single film in my life, which was 1990: The Bronx Warriors.
    You know what I have not seen in a really long time? The Classic Original: The Warriors. In fact, I think this would be a great time to have @Stopharian make it the first film of the new discussion series!! Who's down??!

  7. #7
    Member Stopharian's Avatar
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    "Waaariorrrss, come out to playyyyayyy"

  8. #8
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Whoah. The Warriors was a great movie. I'm not saying the protagonists were wonderful people, but it was a great movie. I credit it with making Double Dragon (the game, not the--and I use the word under protest--movie) and other games/stories with improbably theme driven gangs possible.
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

  9. #9
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    "hate watching" is how i describe my experience with the show gilmore girls.

    i find the main characters so fucking annoying and entitled (esp rory) and it's like this weird escapist thing for me where the world is so tiny, i can just hate everything and everyone when i watch.

    i finally understand the references that people make to that show and it's like ughhhh but by watching it i'm part of the problem, so idk. (currently on a long break from it)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    "hate watching" is how i describe my experience with the show gilmore girls.
    The original or recent incarnation?

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