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Thread: INTP Parenthood

  1. #71
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    Yeah the Fall Festival is in November.... Maybe I can do that in lieu of a birthday party. Low key house gathering mid-morning. Lunch at the house. Carpool to the festival in the afternoon. It's a much smaller festival so I'm less concerned about spending time there, so there's more time for people to gather, the weather will be nicer....

    Yes....
    My ESTJ dad is on board with having a huge house party. He's good at entertaining people.

    If I just invite a ton of people from my kid's school and my school and we have a ton of food and drinks, I mean... That's all you need for a party, right?
    Too bad, Lady Une. You were far too lenient.
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  2. #72
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    That's all you need for a party, right?


    In my observations of the raising of my brothers' kids and several friends' kids, if you set a kid's expectations too high, they will find it damn near impossible to achieve happiness on an ordinary day. They'll throw fits when people give them gifts because it's the wrong color and generally become the kind of people no one wants to be around for more than five minutes. Do your kid a favor and throw down to earth parties. Express pride in efficiency rather than fanciness.

    Disclaimer: I don't have babies and may therefore have no clue.
    Last edited by Sistamatic; 08-29-2017 at 01:29 AM.
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  3. #73
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post


    In my observations of the raising of my brothers' kids and several friends' kids, if you set a kid's expectations too high, they will find it damn near impossible to achieve happiness on an ordinary day. They'll throw fits when people give them gifts because it's the wrong color and generally become the kind of people no one wants to be around for more than five minutes. Do your kid a favor and throw down to earth parties. Express pride in efficiency rather than fanciness.

    Disclaimer: I don't have babies and may therefore have no clue.
    Yeah this way the party's not specifically about him and he doesn't even get any presents. :/

    Whatever, kid. You're three (almost four).

  4. #74
    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    Social crisis:

    Children's Parties

    I got out of this last year by just bringing a cake and some treats to his school and having a little party there. But now my kid is getting old enough now that he actually enjoys playing with his friends and would like to see them on the weekend every now and then. I like his little friends, and it would be cool to get to know some of the moms, both for social and for mom-networking purposes.

    Having a house party is intimidating. Also, his birthday is in December when a lot of people are busy.

    There's this little local festival coming up that's a lot of fun. I was thinking it would be good for people to meet at the house and we would carpool over there, but the logistics of getting people to the house (which is way out of the way) in time is challenging in itself. Especially if it's going to be a hot day I don't want to wait on guests and a carpool - I just want to head right over when the weather's nice.

    ...I am talking myself out of this plan as I speak.

    New plan: Mention the festival by word of mouth. If anyone wants to plan to meet up and/or carpool, great, but it's not going to be a big thing.

    Plan a proper house party for another time, maybe in the Autumn...? Possibly to coincide with an even smaller local festival.

    I'm planning to work every other Saturday this semester, but if I plan it... it can be done.

    *anxiety*
    My experience: When the kids were super young, b-day parties were pretty fun except for the occasional crazy spoiled kid that showed up. When I say young, I mean young enough that the kids not only don't mind you entertaining, but love it. I miss those. At some point, one kid just didn't really like having parties anymore... and the other stopped seeing me as a cool addition to the party. This is when a b-day party goes from fun to making you feel like you're a prisoner in your own home. I think I've only got maybe one more of those to go before I'm done.

    As for extravagance, I've never been big on that. Memories are made with participation, not extravagance. Hence my angst when I'm no longer included. My son never did this, if I recall. But my daughter, once she hit around 14/15, became ridiculously self conscious around her friends. Enough that during the last b-day party here, the fact that I exist felt like a travesty on her honor as a cool teen. They actually had a battle of the bands in the music room during her b-day party, and I just sat in my room wishing I could join in without every teen falling silent as if an alien had invaded from outer space. So, yeah... share as much experience as you can while they're willing!!!

    Edit: Oh, as for getting to know parents.. forget it. That's a nightmare. They all have super duper angst about their kids being the best, or the worst, or some strange new age method of something. It's just awkward all around. Every b-day party I ever had was drop your kids off and GTFO, except one. One was all it took for me to not do that again.

    I did have a drop off kid not get picked up until several hours after pickup time at a b-day party at the park once. That was annoying as hell.
    Last edited by stigmatica; 08-29-2017 at 01:59 AM.
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  5. #75
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    That reminds me...

    The other day I watched The Labyrinth with my almost-four-year-old. We almost didn't make it past the beginning, which is legitimately scary. After that he was ok, but he spent the entire movie with this look on his face like, "What. The. Fuck." At one point I started tapping my feet to one of the songs and he looked over at me with an expression of pure horror and disgust. He spoke firmly and clearly: "No, Mama. No dancing. No no."

    I think he did think that it was kind of cool by the end. Still very weird, but kind of cool. We watched the making of documentary and he now believes that it was putting on a costume that gave David Bowie the ability to walk on the ceiling. If kiddo put on the right costume, he would be able to walk on the ceiling, too.


    So in the time since this post I haven't mentioned the Labyrinth movie to my kid at all. I had an urge to watch it. I thought it would be fun to watch it with the kiddo. I satisfied that urge, and yes, it was entertaining. Done. Moved on.

    But apparently things have been percolating within the kiddo's mind.

    Two nights ago (close to bedtime, of course) he declared that he was Donna Bowie [sic], and I was a princess, and he was going to send the goblins after me, because he was the goblin king. He then demanded that I lift him up and flip him upside down so he could walk on the ceiling. After we had done that a few times he chased me around the house shouting "I'm Donna Bowie! I'm gonna get you!"

    This is his new favorite bedtime-stalling game. After a few gentle corrections he's gotten it down to David (rhymes with 'gravid') Bowie.

    I swear I'm not one of those geeky parents deliberately raising a geeky kid. ...I am, however, a nerdy parent, and this did prompt me to move up my schedule of introducing "Outside Over There." I was going to wait until he was a couple years older, but he was asking for a goblin book at bedtime, and what's done is done. To balance it I was thinking of getting Brian Froud's fairy book from the library.

    ...my kid is going to be such a geek. ...oh well.

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