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Thread: INTP Parenthood

  1. #11
    Member
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    I am a parent.
    Ι need crystal clear communication in order to be able to help in any way anyone, including my child.
    I cannot read the cues or intepret any non verbal signals from my child.
    I can understand if something is wrong, from the body language, but i cant understand what that is if he does not explain it to me.
    I have the same issue with my wife.
    For fucks sake just say what the fuck is on your mind so we can get on with it..see our options take the best solutions and move on. Oh no ..that is not how it works.
    Unfortunately you have to be a magician.
    Understand what this phrase really means or that facial expression or that behavior.
    I never have the whole picture.Lots of missing information.
    Why?
    Because for example my child wants to show me that he can be smart and independent..so he cant show weakeness.As if it is unacceptable to feel fear.
    So he alters or withholds information.
    And when he comes home and starts complaining about the food or that he is too busy going to all the sports he chose to and does not have enough time to go and play in the neighborhood, i have to start guessing what the fuck is really going on. Did he had a bad day at school?
    Was he bullied?
    Did his teacher made him feel worthless? etc.

    So being a parent i have to deal with a lot of gray areas, but it gives me perspective and purpose.
    Last edited by username; 02-06-2015 at 01:35 PM.

  2. #12
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnClay View Post
    BTW what would be about the minimum age that their MBTI could be worked out?
    I've read that the basic temperament (NT, SJ, NF,SP) is apparent when they're kids, but the full MBTI type (if applicable - I for one do not believe that it's universal) crystallizes in the teen or even adult years.

    Part of me thinks that I should resist any sort of typing for as long as possible, but of course I can't stop myself from speculating. Even now, comparing my baby(!) with his peers, I can say that is personality is very affectionate but also highly sensitive. No telling how this will play out, but extrapolating from this extremely limited data I can imagine that he might turn out to be an NF.

  3. #13
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by username View Post
    I am a parent.
    Ι need crystal clear communication in order to be able to help in any way anyone, including my child.
    I cannot read the cues or intepret any non verbal signals from my child. [...]

    So being a parent i have to deal with a lot of gray areas, but it gives me perspective and purpose.
    That sounds incredibly challenging! Good for you for tackling it with hope.

    I just hope that by the time my kid is hiding things from me he's mature enough to handle it. :/

    I think I'm more likely to treat the gray areas like puzzles to be solved. "You say you feel X, but have you considered that what's actually going on is blah blah blah..." It'll probably be really obnoxious.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Senseye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    I've read that the basic temperament (NT, SJ, NF,SP) is apparent when they're kids, but the full MBTI type (if applicable - I for one do not believe that it's universal) crystallizes in the teen or even adult years.
    I think I can say that introvert/extrovert may manifest early too. I recall my mom telling me stories that when I was a toddler she would leave me in the front yard while she did housework and watched me from the window. Apparently I could amuse myself quietly for hours and if she heard me crying the most likely cause was passers by on the street were attempting to talk to me.

  5. #15
    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    I'm very thoroughly convinced my child is an extrovert. I could be wrong (I mean, to some extent I think I was more extroverted as a kid than I am now), but it's kind of humorously obvious at this point, if you ask me.

    His areas of pronounced developmental specialization (where he seems to have picked up skills earlier and more quickly than other kids, and more so than he's picked up other sorts of skills) are basically in the gross motor arena (climbing, for example) and in social interaction. The physical capacity for "formal operational" (purely symbolic/abstract) thought doesn't really appear until early adolescence, from what I understand, so whether he's "N" or "S" would seem to be something I won't be able to determine for a while. He's very "mechanically inclined"--reflexively curious about how any form of machinery works--which would be a stereotypical ST trait except for the fact that tangible physical processes are the only form of logic he's really capable of processing at all, and that will change a few years from now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

  6. #16
    Member AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mexico View Post
    I'm very thoroughly convinced my child is an extrovert. I could be wrong (I mean, to some extent I think I was more extroverted as a kid than I am now), but it's kind of humorously obvious at this point, if you ask me.

    His areas of pronounced developmental specialization (where he seems to have picked up skills earlier and more quickly than other kids, and more so than he's picked up other sorts of skills) are basically in the gross motor arena (climbing, for example) and in social interaction. The physical capacity for "formal operational" (purely symbolic/abstract) thought doesn't really appear until early adolescence, from what I understand, so whether he's "N" or "S" would seem to be something I won't be able to determine for a while. He's very "mechanically inclined"--reflexively curious about how any form of machinery works--which would be a stereotypical ST trait except for the fact that tangible physical processes are the only form of logic he's really capable of processing at all, and that will change a few years from now.
    I could tell my last child was an ISTP nearly from birth. It was the way he observed everything early on. Other than that, I cannot recall how I knew, only that I knew. I have had N children before so I could just tell a difference. And now that he is 6, he is shaping up to be a 'stereotypical' ISTP, like his dad.

  7. #17
    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnClay View Post
    I'm now considering to have a baby. If it is a girl my favourite name is probably "Amy".
    The likelihood of me having a baby is increasing a lot....

  8. #18
    Member helium's Avatar
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    I was a parent. I was highly demanding of my daughter, but she's done very well for herself. Currently, two jobs, a nice apartment, and a new car. Those of you who remember Ms. H and Heliette, just know that I did a good job, ultimately, even though I worried that I had messed it all up. I'm kinda proud of how that all turned out. My little girl.

  9. #19
    Member Ruby_Bookrose's Avatar
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    My son (senior in high school) just did an mbti - tested ENTP - I think this he is a nice mix of me (INTP) and his dad (ENTJ). He talks to people without collapsing in an anxious heap before or after (unlike me) and is non-judgmental about stuff/easy going (unlike his dad). Smart like both of us!

  10. #20
    Senior Member Starjots's Avatar
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    Four kids: 26, 19, 19, 15

    Corny, but this song always made sense to me. The best moments of parenthood are making the normal yet magic moments with kids. They're pretty hard to come by, so never pass up an opportunity.


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