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Thread: Female INTP - Male ISFJ

  1. #71
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    The ISFJ was in town almost constantly for the past couple of months. For the most part it was actually really chill, but then he had a freakout last week (probably because he was going to be leaving, and just thinking about me being cool about him leaving makes him feel insecure, so he acts like an asshole, same old same old...). We brought it back to normal with minimal fallout and within 24 hours, but man.

    My latest this-dichotomy-thing-is-so-obnoxious-yet-fascinating observation:

    When we're good we're like the gum-chewing A-hole couple on SNL. "Babe." "Hey babe." "Yeah babe." We complain to each other, do crosswords together. Watch cooking shows. Cook. When we're bad we're like Burt Lancaster (me) and the crazy, would-be abusive therapist in Local Hero and I'm just like WTF.
    Too bad, Lady Une. You were far too lenient.
    As a soldier, yes. But as a civilian I lived an austere life.

  2. #72
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    Latest revelation:

    INTP : autistic :: ISFJ : narcissist

  3. #73
    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    Latest revelation:

    INTP : autistic :: ISFJ : narcissist
    Made by you or him? Didn't you bring this up before? Well, him being narcissistic.

    How does one deal with a narcissist? Clinically or theoretically speaking. I think someone I know is one but I believe I have this person's ear. When I've offered suggestions or different ways of looking at something, this person has considered and even agreed with me. Making changes...ehh, idk, baby steps?? Can anything be done? Like, short of the narcissist saying "I'm a narcissist and I need change who I am?" This person is not in my life daily but I wonder what type of managed expectations should one have dealing a narcissist? Should I just be friendly and think you go your way, I'll go mine?

    What sort of long term prognosis do you have for yours?

  4. #74
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    By that I meant that he's on the spectrum. He has some narcissistic traits, just as a stereotypical INTP might have some traits from the autism spectrum.

    Specifically he does the thing where he gets in a mood and everything is my fault, whatever I'm doing is selfish. Typical unhealthy ISFJ in that his personal emotions ARE reality. There's no arguing with him.

    And yes this is the same old situation again and again and again... I waver between trying different coping strategies (deflect, disengage) and just letting go.

    Right now I just need to get some sleep. I'm not in a very healthy mindset myself when in tired.

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