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Thread: Nights of disquiet

  1. #1
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    Nights of disquiet

    Since as early as I can remember, I've had nights where everything simply feels wrong. It's a feeling of forboding, an essential "badness" that exists without origin or reason, and engulfs everything. It's as if my mind is a raw wound, and consciousness is a relentless, dry wind blowing sand into the flesh. When I was young, I simply suffered through them. These days, I tend to kill it with alcohol. Do any of you experience anything similar on a regular basis? When, for no identifiable reason, everything feels wrong? How do you cope with it?

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    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    Not exactly like that but I've had something similar that I didn't immediately realize could be relieved by going to sleep. Then I realized it and got ready for bed and my mind was in less of a "badness" mode.

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    a cantori Perdix's Avatar
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    Woah woah woah... I thought you were mormon? Alcohol?

    Sure, I get those moments a couple times a week for brief moments. I recognize my feelings as irrational, and then think about all the reasons why my feelings are irrational, I also think about ways my feelings could be "correct" while based on little objective fact at the time of feeling them. This leaves me with a more thorough sense of my overall position in the world, and what could possibly be next. So, in short, thinking is how I deal with irrational emotions.

    Heavy Indica strains help as well.

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    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    i used to kill it with music, something euphoric that puts me in a beautiful place again. it's still my fav cheat. i spent so much time plugged into something, it's kinda weird to think about.

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    Senior Member Tetris Champion notdavidlynch's Avatar
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    Not for me. I feel the same feelings, but I think my feelings are reasonable.

    Fucked up shit has happened to me, continues to happen to me and has altered my personality at a fundamental level. People respond to this personality negatively and it creates more problems - a vicious cycle.

    When society isn't threatening me with not having my basic needs met, I generally feel pretty good*, and then I move on to being creative/productive.

    * But that doesn't mean that I don't retain a sense of bitterness and general dislike for the world and people in it. For me, making anything - whether it's art, food, or whatever - is an act of hostility, subversion, transgression, a way of righting perceived wrongs. If I were happy or satisfied with life then why would I want to change it by creating something?

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    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Probably happens to everyone occasionally.

    In my experience, a lot more often when there are pressing or difficult questions in my life which are going unresolved.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

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    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mexico View Post
    Probably happens to everyone occasionally.
    Uh, no. Not as described in the OP. On the rare occasions I have foreboding feelings like that, I know what is causing them (in terms of "origin or reason").

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    Now we know... Asteroids Champion ACow's Avatar
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    Mmm, can't say I get that either. If anything I've always found night time quiet, peaceful and soothing...

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    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    I've given this some thought, because I go through phases of intense fear at night. It isn't a sense of things being wrong in my life but just the fear of bad things happening. It's been a recent phase and I'm not totally out of it.

    There's a psychological affliction supposedly specific to latin american peoples, especially indigenous peoples, called "susto". Literally it just means "fright". "Asustar" is to scare, "temor" is a more lasting fear, and "susto" is something that happens suddenly, like getting the crap scared out of you. Except "susto" the illness is like a fright that won't go away; the afflicted person usually retires to someplace dark and isolated and is intensely afraid.

    It's the only thing I can compare it to, because they aren't panic attacks, I don't feel like I can't breathe or like I'm about to die, nothing like that (my sister often wakes me with panic attacks and I can't say I've ever felt anything like that).

    If you have "susto" I think you have to see a witchdoctor though. Uh. I feel better lighting a saint's candle, and I don't expect to get to the bottom of it rationally.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mexico View Post
    Probably happens to everyone occasionally.

    In my experience, a lot more often when there are pressing or difficult questions in my life which are going unresolved.
    Would this apply to a 5 year old child? Because I remember having these events even back then. Pretty sure the most pressing thing going on for me then was whether or not my siblings would come get me for watching Sesame Street.

    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    I've given this some thought, because I go through phases of intense fear at night. It isn't a sense of things being wrong in my life but just the fear of bad things happening. It's been a recent phase and I'm not totally out of it.
    Right, a fear of bad things happening -- the foreboding. That's the biggest characteristic of it for me. That's interesting about the susto. @tele music helps me as well. It's an instant difference, with music vs. without. Turn off the music and it's such an absence, it's like being dumped into a cold pool of water. Reading a book can provide the same relief.

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