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Thread: Help, I am like a stone.

  1. #1
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Help, I am like a stone.

    Help. Whatever I do and whereever I go, I am constantly being ignored.

    I am a very talkactive person, and I like attention, but whatever I do, it doesn't seem to work and people treat me like air.

    When I'm at school, no matter where I sit, all the teachers constantly forget about me when distributing papers. How is that even possible? When I raise my hand to say something, I am never noticed, so I started just shouting the answer out, which again doesnt count as an answer to teachers who dislike that way of contribution. I get bad grades for "not contributing enough", although my hand is up most of the time.

    In my circle of friends, people tend to forget about me too, despite me greeting them whenever I see them irl or online. People rarely write me first... It's like I have to beg them for it. Getting people to talk to me is always such a drag.

    I feel like a stone. What am I doing wrong?


    *title refers to the LoZ Stone Mask, which makes you invisible to foes

  2. #2
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    Sometimes you have to give attention to get attention.
    Listen to be heard.
    Don't remember changing this.

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    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Okay, but how is doing nothing and simply listening supposed to draw the teachers attention?

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    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    Listening and showing you are listening isn't exactly doing nothing.

    Try with your friends first. Instead of being the guy who talks a lot, be the guy who gets THEM to talk a lot. Ask questions, encourage details, seek out whatever they might have that you could genuinely find interesting and show your interest. Keep your comments to those that show you understand. Engage, you know?

    Most people want to be heard more than they want to listen, and if they don't feel heard they won't bother to come to you.

    There are lots of subtle cues and behaviors that go along with the give and take of attention which practice well help you develop.
    Don't remember changing this.

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    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Okay, but how is doing nothing and simply listening supposed to draw the teachers attention?
    lethe's advice will probably work on the teachers as well. Instead of giving the correct answer to X, Ask the teacher what their opinion is as to how X might relate to Y. You've instantly made a connection because the teacher now thinks you value their opinion. Most lessons have a Real-World or Big-Picture relevance and if you find and point this out... well that should help too.

    Best of Luck
    Creativity is the residue of time wasted. ~ Albert Einstein

  6. #6
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lethe View Post
    Listening and showing you are listening isn't exactly doing nothing.

    Try with your friends first. Instead of being the guy who talks a lot, be the guy who gets THEM to talk a lot. Ask questions, encourage details, seek out whatever they might have that you could genuinely find interesting and show your interest. Keep your comments to those that show you understand. Engage, you know?

    Most people want to be heard more than they want to listen, and if they don't feel heard they won't bother to come to you.

    There are lots of subtle cues and behaviors that go along with the give and take of attention which practice well help you develop.
    Already doing that, buddy. Still nothing. I mean they will reply a few more times but the next day it's just dead silence again, and I don't want to bother them all the time cuz that's annoying... So in the end nobody talks, again. Meh.
    But thanks, I will keep in mind to ask more questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrionzRevenge View Post
    lethe's advice will probably work on the teachers as well. Instead of giving the correct answer to X, Ask the teacher what their opinion is as to how X might relate to Y. You've instantly made a connection because the teacher now thinks you value their opinion. Most lessons have a Real-World or Big-Picture relevance and if you find and point this out... well that should help too.

    Best of Luck
    Well the teacher already asks what OUR opinion is so it would sound stupid to answer the same question back, as if I didnt know anything. Though if that's the case I do wish the teacher would tell more than ask... cuz all the constant asking gets tiresome when ur just sitting there trying to learn something from this hour. I tried to initiate interesting conversations about the discussed topic and hand links to articles to one teacher but he simply forgot about them like it doesn't even matter.

  7. #7
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Already doing that, buddy. Still nothing. I mean they will reply a few more times but the next day it's just dead silence again, and I don't want to bother them all the time cuz that's annoying... So in the end nobody talks, again. Meh.
    But thanks, I will keep in mind to ask more questions.


    Well the teacher already asks what OUR opinion is so it would sound stupid to answer the same question back, as if I didnt know anything. Though if that's the case I do wish the teacher would tell more than ask... cuz all the constant asking gets tiresome when ur just sitting there trying to learn something from this hour. I tried to initiate interesting conversations about the discussed topic and hand links to articles to one teacher but he simply forgot about them like it doesn't even matter.
    Do you wear that Russian Star hat a lot? Just Kidding.

    I don't know what to say dude.
    Maybe I can't really relate.
    Less & less often theses days is it a positive thing, but IRL I've always attracted attention without really trying. Being an Introvert (not needing much attention to thrive and be happy) it usually finds me and not the reverse.

    maybe after class ask the teacher (very briefly) what his/her opinion is on what they asked of you.
    ???
    can't hurt.
    Creativity is the residue of time wasted. ~ Albert Einstein

  8. #8
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrionzRevenge View Post
    Do you wear that Russian Star hat a lot? Just Kidding.

    I don't know what to say dude.
    Maybe I can't really relate.
    Less & less often theses days is it a positive thing, but IRL I've always attracted attention without really trying. Being an Introvert (not needing much attention to thrive and be happy) it usually finds me and not the reverse.

    maybe after class ask the teacher (very briefly) what his/her opinion is on what they asked of you.
    ???
    can't hurt.
    Acctually yes it's currently my only hat I wear outdoors. xD I like it cuz I got it from a good friend I really look up to...

    I know that feeling, when I used to be more introverted I somehow always ended up the center of attention, but in a negative way. (everyone hated me)

    I'd love to talk to the teachers after class but they talk nonstop until their time is up and then they pretty much jump up and run cuz they want to go on break or go home.

  9. #9
    .: PERSISTENCE IS ALL :. Pan_Sonic_000's Avatar
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    The extent to which you seem to care (based only on my reading of this thread) leads me to suspect you're coming off as needy IRL. And people who are needy for attention are usually the last ones to receive it.

    My suggestion: stop keeping track of who is (and isn't) giving you attention and how much (or how little) they are doing so. Instead, focus on making a social contribution - like Lethe said. For example, ask someone how their day is and actually give a shit about their answer. Let them talk. Let other people talk.
    Wild skies
    Full moon and thoughts collide
    We look for answers in those catatonic, bloodshot eyes
    A steady stream of madness
    Rises to a flood...

    ...The clock is ticking for Bad Blood

  10. #10
    Member Ruby_Bookrose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrionzRevenge View Post
    lethe's advice will probably work on the teachers as well. Instead of giving the correct answer to X, Ask the teacher what their opinion is as to how X might relate to Y. You've instantly made a connection because the teacher now thinks you value their opinion. Most lessons have a Real-World or Big-Picture relevance and if you find and point this out... well that should help too.

    Best of Luck
    this!

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