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Thread: Did your parents want you?

  1. #11
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    Definitely wanted. Right after I came across this thread, I went to facebook, and my mom posted one of those cheesy quote pics that read, "to my children...If I had to choose between loving you and breathing...I would use my last breath to tell you...I love you". While I find the quote completely ridiculous, it does express the general experience that I had growing up with my parents...they had a bunch of issues in their marriage, but they both love and welcome their kids unconditionally.

    After me, they had a miscarriage, and then 4 more kids...trying to recreate their first success, obviously.
    ...the origin of emotional sickness lay in people’s belief that they were their personalities...
    "The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong." ~Carl Jung

  2. #12
    Senior Member Starjots's Avatar
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    Good question, I arrived after they got married but never thought to ask when their anniversary was nor did they ever celebrate it that I was aware of... hmmmm!

  3. #13
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kali View Post
    I assume they wanted me because I wasn't aborted
    This. Whether I was conceived on purpose or as a result of failed contraception is irrelevant.

  4. #14
    Merry Christmas
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    They had mixed feelings about me from the start. I think they would have preferred a rental/test drive but those options weren't available. My mom was 40 and my dad was 49 when I was born so they had doubts just because of their age too. Also anxiety about their parenting capabilities and commitment.
    I take offense at the thought that I might not have been born.

  5. #15
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    I was an accident. I was told this from the time I was a child. My parents always said it jokingly. It never bothered me much when I was younger because I was the oldest and they did actually plan my sister, so I always just figured my parents got an earlier start on having kids than they planned.

    I'm not so sure that's the case now. In more recent years my mom has told me that she didn't think she even wanted kids, but then she had me by accident and decided to have more because only children tend to have emotional problems and she didn't want me be a weirdo. This is something she said to me to try to convince me to have children, when I told her I didn't want any.

    Great plan... don't want kids, but if you accidentally have one may as well have more so the first one doesn't turn out fucked up. I'm pretty sure she still thinks I'm a weirdo. Her plan of having more kids to prevent that didn't work.

  6. #16
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    I came along after a string of miscarriages and a short-lived sibling, so I'm pretty sure I was planned and wanted though I've never bothered to ask. I agree that planned and wanted are two completely different things.

  7. #17
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    I don't know, don't really care either. I'm here aren't I?

  8. #18
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    I was an accident. Eventually I was wanted. But if abortion hadn't been heavily stigmatized in the social circles my parents were in (churchy shit), I would have been aborted.

    Once I'd been around for awhile though, they were glad I existed. It just would have been more convenient if it had happened later.
    For some, "how", not "why", is the fundamental unit of measure for curiosity. This divergence is neither parallel, nor straight. Where one might have a "why?-5" problem, it might only be a "how?-2" question. But then, there are also many things where the "why?" is immediately obvious but the "how?" is best measured in centuries of perpetual wonder. Both approaches have their drawbacks.

    If one is superior, the other is unaware of it.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  9. #19
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
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    My parents are dead. Thanks for reminding me.
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

  10. #20
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    I gather I was the result of intentional procreation. Family members used to talk about how I came about as attempt number 2 or 3 at a successful pregnancy, so...

    I can't say that knowledge of this has had any effect on my internal self-evaluations, as pertains to self-esteem or otherwise. Honestly, I never game much of a damn what my parents wanted of/for/from me.

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