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Thread: If I was a billionaire

  1. #1
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    If I was a billionaire

    I would never use the subjunctive voice again

    I would only drink bitters, by themselves

    I would have someone drive around a private toilet for me to use on my travels

  2. #2
    Retired
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    If I was a billionaire

    I would keep a Rottweiler as a lapdog

    I would employ an old Hungarian manservant to maintain the household and prepare my meals, and pay him generously

    I would give free music lessons to promising talents and provide free boarding for anyone highly gifted in art, literature or science

    I would spend my mornings precisely as I do now

  3. #3
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    i'd fill any voids in my spiritual and emotional life with massive collections of things. i'd have a massive record collection at least to represent the gaping hole in my soul i can not fill with anything.

    not really but maybe. i can easily see myself living through art instead of just living though.

    edit: i would travel a lot
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 04-11-2015 at 08:07 AM.
    chatting on discord

  4. #4
    Ieilaelite pensive_pilgrim's Avatar
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    I would just get high on the best drugs and travel and have sex with lots of beautiful young women and

    I'm just depressed right now but with a billion eventually I'd want to do things to change the world

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tetris Champion notdavidlynch's Avatar
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    I would own as little as possible.

    I would upgrade my Retina MBP to a new Retina MBP with a 1TB SSD.

    I wouldn't buy a home or even rent an apartment. I would live almost exclusively out of Airbnb rentals and hotels - bouncing from country to country, visa to visa. I might keep a painting studio somewhere in a place like LA that I come back to in order to blow off steam.

    I would replace my DSLR with a better DSLR.

    I would replace my Nexus 5 with... A new phone that I've yet to research, probably not the Nexus 6 though.

    I would watch, read and play every piece of zombie media ever created. I would start by finishing season 5 of Walking Dead and then play The Last of Us.

    I would eventually get around to spending a prolonged period of time (like maybe years) perfecting a single artistic technique and making large scale print installations. It would involve monotypes made with photopolymer plates that are then scanned at a very high DPI in order to scale them up, and then broken apart digitally in order to make more photopolymer plates and more monotypes with this process repeating itself in a loop restricted by the scale of the installation and size of the original print. This would probably cost quite a bit of money.

    I'd buy good seats to all the big boxing matches.

    I'd set up a foundation with a hefty endowment and fund stuff that I care about, or things that I think are impactful.

    I'd create a decently sized game development and production studio and then have them make games based on silly ideas that I come up with. I'd have as much or as little input on the process as I want at any given time, taking a Gehry-like approach when I do - i.e. that's good, that's bad, a little to the left, it looks stupid, etc.

    I'd hire my own personal hybrid BDSM-switch oriented prostitutes to dress as grandmas and scold me for eating from the cookie jar. Then they'd demand that I sit at the dining room table with them to do jigsaw puzzles, perhaps read from the Bible or dictionary to me (define: R-E-S-P-E-C-T). They'd tell me that everything in the world fits together too perfectly for it all to have happened without the guidance of God. Then there'd be a mid-scene role reversal where I get fed up with their nonsense and start physically/sexually torturing them.

    Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I'd do with money.

  6. #6
    tableau vivant MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    I'd talk about bootstraps all the time and drive rudely.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tetris Champion notdavidlynch's Avatar
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    Jello pool.

  8. #8
    wetback Space Invaders Champion Fitz's Avatar
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    travel the world surfing, drugs, more drugs, probably overdose somewhere, or drown.

    Eventually buy some land somewhere and build a plantation with huge greenhouses and chill on my porch doing drugs.
    Then why did he put the Devil in me?

  9. #9
    Ieilaelite pensive_pilgrim's Avatar
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    Put as much cash as I can in an olympic sized swimming pool mixed with shit and medical waste and open it to the public

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tetris Champion notdavidlynch's Avatar
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    Obviously.


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