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Thread: Extending social view

  1. #1
    Always late to the show Sol4rplexus's Avatar
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    Extending social view

    Hi.

    Have you ever felt the urge to create fake identities and talk to your friends from the perspective of a stranger just to find out what they really think about you?

    I had it many times but I didn't end up doing it because I dont think I could pull it through well enough. (Also I'm a bad actor.)

    It's because I just feel like people are never truly honest with me and it's frustrating to have to decypher all those mixed messages.
    I didn't read the whole thread.

  2. #2
    Now we know... Asteroids Champion ACow's Avatar
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    I had a friend who once started a fake account as a female and tried to contact me with it.

    It lasted all of 10 minutes, with much effort on their part, as although I didn't know who they were, my social immune system rejected them outright (possibly due to growing up in the earlier days of the internet/tech comm phase).

    Looking back, perhaps this kind of behaviour was a clue as to his general character and deceptiveness, but it didn't register with me due to naturally being immune.

    Two things:

    1. Fuck what people think.
    2. What makes you think they'd be more honest to a stranger? It's just a different set of social distortions.

    Frankly, most people I know are less honest with strangers, and I'd make it a policy to be around people who are honest.

    Though this might be a generational thing, and also why I have very few friends...

  3. #3
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Not really. I have no curiosity wrt what people think about me because 1) I tend to assume I know and 2) I'm not that important. I tend to be surprised and embarassed if I find out someone appreciates me, but I don't normally stop to think about this topic.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

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    The Experience Catoptric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Hi.

    Have you ever felt the urge to create fake identities and talk to your friends from the perspective of a stranger just to find out what they really think about you?
    As long as you don't go to this extreme, you should be fine:

  5. #5
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
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    no, my life doesn't revolve around what other people think in that way. i care more about what i think of myself (& i assume mostly that people are neutral or think i'm a shit but it's cool as long as they keep their shit to themselves).

  6. #6
    creator kali's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Hi.

    Have you ever felt the urge to create fake identities and talk to your friends from the perspective of a stranger just to find out what they really think about you?

    I had it many times but I didn't end up doing it because I dont think I could pull it through well enough. (Also I'm a bad actor.)

    It's because I just feel like people are never truly honest with me and it's frustrating to have to decypher all those mixed messages.
    "What other people think of you is none of your business"

    Tip for a healthy mind
    "I fucking hate the cold!" - Wim Hof

    art and flowers: https://www.instagram.com/cloudlilt/

  7. #7
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    Have you ever felt the urge to create fake identities and talk to your friends from the perspective of a stranger just to find out what they really think about you?
    I don't see the point. If people have manners and are pleasant to be around I really couldn't care less what they actually think about me. If they don't have manners and are unpleasant to be around then I avoid them and care even less what they think about me.

    Sometimes I get curious about some specific thing so then I do the obvious and ask people about it. Which led to the interesting bit I was told recently that apparently many people would be surprised if they found out how hostile to humanity I can be.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol4rplexus View Post
    It's because I just feel like people are never truly honest with me and it's frustrating to have to decypher all those mixed messages.
    I don't like deciphering people's behaviour. I can do it, but it's not usually worth my time. If someone's actions/tone differ too much from what they are saying aloud, that's just annoying and eventually I'll start avoiding the person if I can. If someone expects me to read them and read between the lines all the time, that's extra annoying. I don't want to babysit adults. Only elderly relatives can get by with passive aggressive behaviour with me. It's not like they are going to change anyway and I'm too polite to call them out on it.

    What would true honesty be for you? Are there specific areas that you think the people around you are being secretive with? Their true opinions about you? If the last bit then why is it important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    I tend to be surprised and embarassed if I find out someone appreciates me, but I don't normally stop to think about this topic.
    This. I really do not take praise well.

    A few times I've been surprised by random hostility from people I only knew in passing. They didn't register on my radar so it was weird that I registered on theirs enough to induce hostility.

  8. #8
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    There are only two really important things to know about a person:
    1) what do they want?
    2) what are they afraid of?

    If you know what they want from you, you can decide if you are willing to provide it/ the deal. If not you waste both your times so it's best to just leave.

    Knowing what they fear prevents you from accidentally screwing it up, and gives you the soft spot if you need it.

    Everything else is just details.
    Don't remember changing this.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by lethe View Post
    There are only two really important things to know about a person:
    1) what do they want?
    2) what are they afraid of?
    I imagine a world in which it is considered polite and expedient to simply ask these questions of one another, and I long for it.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashi View Post
    I imagine a world in which it is considered polite and expedient to simply ask these questions of one another, and I long for it.
    People want power and fear people,
    or they want people and fear power.

    Usually both - until they become politicised.

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