Page 1 of 10 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 96

Thread: What difference has gender made for you?

  1. #1
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    mosquito-infested hell
    Posts
    2,365

    What difference has gender made for you?

    I am generally quite satisfied with being a woman, but there are a couple of things that I would be interested in doing but won't consider because of my gender.

    I think it all has to do with the perception of being a sexual object. Luckily this has never been a major issue in my life, but I have been in places where I could not walk down the street in extremely conservative clothing without attracting unwanted attention, catcalls, etc.

    Also I know that plenty of women do do these things, so I'm far from saying that a woman can't, I'm just saying that I personally would not:

    1. Go backpacking, hitchhiking, etc alone. I know that it still carries risks for a man to travel alone, but I think that those risks are relatively manageable. This is probably the #1 thing that might have made a difference in my life. As a woman I feel that I need to be somewhere safe and secure, particularly at night. If I were a man, I think that I would feel much more comfortable just striking out into the unknown.

    2. Join the army. Part of me does want to get my hands dirty and gain some legitimacy in the system while critiquing it. There are still lots of reasons not to join the army (arbitrary rules, dealing with a bunch of assholes, doing things I find to be more or less unconscionable), but if I were a man I would have seriously considered it. As a woman, no way. Chances of encountering misogynist violence from supposed comrades are way too high.

    3. Be cavalier about sex. It boggles my mind how men often just don't even seem to make the connection that babies (not to mention emotional complications and STDs) come from sex. But then I think about evolutionary biology and I remember that in some ways, generally speaking, we are vastly different.

    On the flipside:

    1. Men don't seem that mysterious to me, but women do seem to be mysterious to men. It's nice to realize that I have direct experience with social and hormonal systems that would probably be pretty puzzling from the outside. Knowing me, if I were a guy, I'd probably be clueless about many interior experiences of womanhood at least until my thirties.

    2. Pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood. The physical processes, the millennia of evolution... It's awesome.

    What about y'all? How do you think your life would be different if you were the opposite gender? What would you do differently?

  2. #2
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    zone 10a
    Posts
    5,753
    maybe i'd have studied science/engineering instead of art, feel more pressure to get a good job that supports a family (parenthood might seem less daunting cuz traditions) and have a lot more sexual freedom, but idk. i think i'd still believe in feminism, have the same values and wouldn't be much different in terms of sexual orientation. def wouldn't be a "typical" dude but i imagine people would accept me more.

    i'm convinced i'd have an easier time being considered for secure, rewarding (but conventional) jobs-- that's probably the main thing.

    as a woman i've done some "stupid shit" regarding living/being in places so idk about what would be different there. i'd still prefer to live the way i do most likely and freak out over shadows following me at night. i want a comfortable home life, so that wouldn't change. i'd probably pick up some other handy skills more stereotypically masculine.

    for some reason i think i'd be less interesting overall... or my life would be more traditional. this is how i see the men around me and the lives they typically have, though. i really don't know.
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 05-26-2015 at 06:38 PM.

  3. #3
    -
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    5,101
    It unnecessarily complicates otherwisely superb platonic friendships with men – particularly when they're married. This is a real problem because experience has shown that I am incapable of keeping friendships with women, so I have no choice but to grit my teeth at rampant gossip and a half-dozen chagrined wives' silent hatred of my existence.

  4. #4
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Mañana
    Posts
    7,107
    INTPx Award Winner
    I'd love to have been a man. That's not something I'll hesitate to say. I don't see any special benefits I've gotten from being a woman. A lot of my more natural personality traits would have been encouraged instead of discouraged, had I been male, including my thirst for adventure. I'd be an entirely different person; though I might also be dead. Recklessness is another thing that I had to moderate as a woman.

    Probably pointless to think about.

    Maybe I'd learn from what men think women benefit from. I don't see that as a conversation topic though, lol. Seems the only time a man praises something about womanhood is when he's embellishing oppression of some sort, especially latin men. Makes my blood boil.

    Quote Originally Posted by TeresaJ View Post
    1. Go backpacking, hitchhiking, etc alone. I know that it still carries risks for a man to travel alone, but I think that those risks are relatively manageable. This is probably the #1 thing that might have made a difference in my life. As a woman I feel that I need to be somewhere safe and secure, particularly at night. If I were a man, I think that I would feel much more comfortable just striking out into the unknown.
    Yep, I would love to go backpacking around South America. I have to depend on some guy wanting to do it, so it's unlikely to happen.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  5. #5
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    zone 10a
    Posts
    5,753
    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Yep, I would love to go backpacking around South America. I have to depend on some guy wanting to do it, so it's unlikely to happen.
    i feel like guys really pick up on this and use it as a line, or that may be just my experience. "hey let's go on a trip together!" i'm kinda dumb though at reading signs and didn't get it sometimes when guys have used that on me. even my now-bf said that to me before we became a thing. of course i wouldn't do it with someone i didn't know well and trust. i'd still go roadtripping / backpacking with a good group of adaptable, street-smart women i really trust, but everyone is busy being responsible adults.

  6. #6
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Mañana
    Posts
    7,107
    INTPx Award Winner
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    i feel like guys really pick up on this and use it as a line, or that may be just my experience. "hey let's go on a trip together!" i'm kinda dumb though at reading signs and didn't get it sometimes when guys have used that on me. even my now-bf said that to me before we became a thing. of course i wouldn't do it with someone i didn't know well and trust. i'd still go roadtripping / backpacking with a good group of adaptable, street-smart women i really trust, but everyone is busy being responsible adults.
    I didn't know that was a line...

    Yeah, I'd go with a few women too.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  7. #7
    Bringer of Jollity MoneyJungle's Avatar
    Type
    INFP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Fool's Paradise
    Posts
    2,310
    My name would be Emily. Other than that I really have no clue.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  8. #8
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    zone 10a
    Posts
    5,753
    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    I didn't know that was a line...
    lol ya. i'd consider it such if/when it's used and they aren't my friend, or my bf, or really anything in my life. i think they're trying to say "let me be your source of adventure."

    *shrug*

  9. #9
    Mens bona regnum possidet ferrus's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Barcelona, Catalonia
    Posts
    5,669
    I think my eccentricities would not be tolerated so much.
    Die Logik ist keine Lehre, sondern ein Spiegelbild der Welt. Die Logik ist transcendental. - Wittgenstein

  10. #10
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Lost-Hope
    Posts
    1,999
    Quote Originally Posted by Sappho View Post
    It unnecessarily complicates otherwisely superb platonic friendships with men – particularly when they're married. This is a real problem because experience has shown that I am incapable of keeping friendships with women, so I have no choice but to grit my teeth at rampant gossip and a half-dozen chagrined wives' silent hatred of my existence.
    This!

    Except really being friends with men has been complicated since puberty. Before puberty my friends were mostly boys. Sometimes I wonder if I would have more friends as an adult if I were a man.

Similar Threads

  1. I'm So Glad They Never Made a Sequel to...
    By LordLatch in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 01-07-2015, 07:22 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •