Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: Getting out of a rut

  1. #1
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    zone 10a
    Posts
    5,763

    Getting out of a rut

    what do you do to get out of a rut?

    in my case it's probably that classic depression/anxiety thing and i'm probably past the worst of it (in my life). i've gotten a lot better at managing stuff and removed unhealthy influences but sometimes the wave comes back and it feels really horrible, like i'm drowning or being smothered, but i look around and there's nothing holding me back from anything. the stillness and sadness is like a black hole. i'm not lonely and there's not much to get away from. i tell myself i wanna get away from people and be alone, but then i wanna get away from myself. whatever it is, it starts to feel like loneliness, but i know that's a lie. the first steps you have to take, those are always the hardest.

  2. #2
    Member
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    304
    Spending too much time on the internet or inside the house can drive my crazy.

    So i push myself outside my comfort zone ( my thoughts) so to feel more balanced ( interacting with the world).

    So instead of reading and thinking all day and all night i also cycle, swim, spearfish, gamble, woodworking, writing poems, watching movies, drinking, socializing every once in awhile, listening to music, playing billiards, go-carts racing,...

    The key for me is get outside and do something even if its much more easier and comfortable to stay inside and rot on the couch.

  3. #3
    I agree with username, change your environment.
    Also, go see a doctor and make sure your depression is not something that requires medication. If you are healthy, without any hormonal imbalances for example, try to be aware of what you were just thinking or doing every time you become depressed or anxious by keeping a personal journal. If you already know the source of your depression, you'll want to seek to enact change of the outer conflict if possible, or if change is not possible, change yourself and your outlook.
    I hope that helps.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Type
    intp
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    1,432
    I make drastic changes, such as quitting jobs, moving, etc. Location and work are key elements to not getting into a rut. Where you are will determine how many opportunities you have on an every day basis to do what you want, and your job will determine how much liberty you have to pursue things outside of work (based on things schedule and income). For me at least, the anxiety and depression occurs when I'm not doing. I need projects and side-projects to keep that away.

  5. #5
    creator kali's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,253
    Wander on your lonesome past midnight on a clear night. When you get lost, wave down the next taxi you see and ask for directions. He will take you to the place you desire to visit free of charge. He'll drop you off but won't come back.

  6. #6
    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,181
    Quote Originally Posted by Lud
    I make drastic changes, such as quitting jobs, moving, etc.
    That can be pretty drastic. Something for the "things to do instead of suicide" list.

    I can't very well give advice on this one because I'm in a rut myself and have been for months.
    "All my heroes are dead" - John Zorn

    "It's not selfish if you hate yourself"

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Type
    intp
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    1,432
    Quote Originally Posted by Faust View Post
    That can be pretty drastic. Something for the "things to do instead of suicide" list.

    I can't very well give advice on this one because I'm in a rut myself and have been for months.
    I suppose that depends on how tied down you are. If you have a family, yeah, it isn't as easy as quitting and buying a plane ticket. But I've done it a few times and it really works, if you can I recommend it to everyone at least once.

  8. #8
    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,181
    Quote Originally Posted by Lud View Post
    I suppose that depends on how tied down you are. If you have a family, yeah, it isn't as easy as quitting and buying a plane ticket. But I've done it a few times and it really works, if you can I recommend it to everyone at least once.
    I have to admit that, in my own experience, staking a new life somewhere far away is cathartic for a time. It jolts you out of lethargy. However, my issues eventually caught up with me and months later I felt more alienated than I did at home, and in the end experienced bouts of paranoia and anxiety. I can't blame "place" over myself, but isolation has an impact when you already lost your grip.
    "All my heroes are dead" - John Zorn

    "It's not selfish if you hate yourself"

  9. #9
    Merry Christmas Blorg's Avatar
    Type
    INFP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    near a castle
    Posts
    3,478
    I guess one thing is to support yourself mentally - remind yourself that you're on your side and forgive yourself when you don't accomplish as much as you hoped, because you know that you're trying your best. Beating yourself up won't help. Just figure out what activities would make you feel better, take small steps toward them, and reward yourself for taking those small steps. Try to strengthen the parts of your mind that are on your own side - listen to them - and tell the parts of your mind that want to beat you up that they're heard but not terribly helpful. It sounds small but it's helped me. Giving myself a mental hug now and then offsets a little bit of the pain sometimes.
    "Better not to feel too much until the crisis ends—and if it never ends, at least we’ll have suffered a little less, developed a useful dullness...The constant—and very real—fear of being hurt, the fear of death, of intolerable loss, or even of “mere” humiliation, leads each of us, the citizens and prisoners of the conflict, to dampen our own vitality, our emotional and intellectual range, and to cloak ourselves in more and more protective layers until we suffocate." - Toni Morrison

  10. #10
    dormant jigglypuff's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    zone 10a
    Posts
    5,763
    (this is a reply to everyone, but these posts in particular)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lud View Post
    I make drastic changes, such as quitting jobs, moving, etc. Location and work are key elements to not getting into a rut. Where you are will determine how many opportunities you have on an every day basis to do what you want, and your job will determine how much liberty you have to pursue things outside of work (based on things schedule and income). For me at least, the anxiety and depression occurs when I'm not doing. I need projects and side-projects to keep that away.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lud View Post
    I suppose that depends on how tied down you are. If you have a family, yeah, it isn't as easy as quitting and buying a plane ticket. But I've done it a few times and it really works, if you can I recommend it to everyone at least once.
    Quote Originally Posted by Faust View Post
    I have to admit that, in my own experience, staking a new life somewhere far away is cathartic for a time. It jolts you out of lethargy. However, my issues eventually caught up with me and months later I felt more alienated than I did at home, and in the end experienced bouts of paranoia and anxiety. I can't blame "place" over myself, but isolation has an impact when you already lost your grip.
    picking up and moving is what i'd really like to do a lot of the time, but what keeps me from doing that is the lack of financial cushion if i were to be completely isolated and without my network, and i'd also consider it selfish if i were to do that without my partner or ask him to leave his job, family and friends to come with me. deep down i know that sudden urge to move somewhere else stems from something i could change about myself / my life anywhere i am. i'm also in one of the best cities in terms of opportunities imo so that's one area where i feel i really lucked out, that my family/network just happens to be here.

    last year i had a job that i hated so i quit and became a really great student since. that's one insecurity / life skill i put a lot of effort into improving but i'm bored with that now.

    keeping active and productive is my one main thing. everything's ok if i have momentum. i try really hard to keep it up and be competitive with myself. i'm surprised nobody said exercise. that works in the short-term but has the effect sometimes of feeling like you're running on a hamster wheel if everything else is being neglected to shit. however short bursts of exercise then sleeping it off is great for bringing myself almost instantly out of a shitty dark cloud if i really can't stand it anymore. looking forward to a new day is really good.

    i agree with changing one's environment. that works wonders, but only if you can focus your energy into appreciating your new surroundings. i need to do this more, like take day trips to places.

    i really, really need my mind to be stimulated by projects, too. i get straight up suicidal with the restlessness if i'm not engaged in something fully.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •