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Thread: What you look like, according to you

  1. #1
    Merry Christmas Blorg's Avatar
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    What you look like, according to you

    What image do you think you project? Do you consider yourself attractive, repulsive, neutral, or something else? How has your self-perception changed over the years? How often do you think about your image, if at all? How does your self-perceived image affect the way you interact with people (or doesn't it)?
    "Better not to feel too much until the crisis ends—and if it never ends, at least we’ll have suffered a little less, developed a useful dullness...The constant—and very real—fear of being hurt, the fear of death, of intolerable loss, or even of “mere” humiliation, leads each of us, the citizens and prisoners of the conflict, to dampen our own vitality, our emotional and intellectual range, and to cloak ourselves in more and more protective layers until we suffocate." - Toni Morrison

  2. #2
    Bringer of Jollity MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    Mostly awful. I've improved my health significantly this year but I still feel like the best I'll ever be is a 6. My hair is 10/10 once in a blue moon but the rest of me just feels utterly repulsive. Apparently I'm a strapping fellow but I feel like a Crumb drawing most days. This hasn't really changed over the years. I've gotten much better at presentation (ie working with what I am rather than some Platonic Form of a man) but I mostly don't like my physical shell. I dwell on this a fair amount but less as I age and my modicum of health has leveled the playing field with men my age. I think it affects my relationships a lot. I wouldn't want to foist my body-neuroses on some poor well-intentioned bastard and thus participate very infrequently in physical validation. I'd probably find some way to alienate myself from the hive even as a dime-piece though

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  3. #3
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    I don't put much time or effort into my appearance, so I likely don't seem well-groomed. On the other hand, that's not unheard of for a male and I'm not sloppy about my appearance, so it's not too bad. According to PhotoFeeler.com, I'm between a 7 and an 8 (unattractive: 5, somewhat: 16, attractive: 34, very: 15). I'm usually average to skinny, but I'm now emaciated (beginning in 2014) and that has probably lowered my attractiveness. I'm also a Targeted Individual (leaving me unemployed, unaccomplished, insane, emotionally unstable, and with poor cognition), so my personality and demeanor are now unattractive.

  4. #4
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dot View Post
    What image do you think you project?
    Don't give it any thought. Don't much care.

    Do you consider yourself attractive, repulsive, neutral, or something else?
    Neutral? Can't say. Again, don't much care.

    How has your self-perception changed over the years?
    Apart from that which follows from slight variances brought on by age and environmental circumstance, etc, it hasn't. Again, don't much care.

    How often do you think about your image, if at all?
    Those occasions when I must, as in when I'd prefer to avoid consequences involved with not giving a damn, as such. For instance: interviews, dates, etc. Even then, I prefer not to much beyond the minimally necessary. And, if and when possible/practical, I avoid getting involved in such circumstances to begin with.

    How does your self-perceived image affect the way you interact with people (or doesn't it)?
    Doesn't. Not consciously, anyhow.

  5. #5
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    brain in a jar lugging around a meat suit for years

    now i'm having a lot more fun. pleasantly surprised when I look in the mirror these days. the best part of getting fit is having the knowledge to address issues, and the proprioception to enjoy it.

    i can still get frustrated with the fat i'm carrying, but i try not to focus on it.

    I'm sure i have some long-simmering dysmorphia issues, but i just do what i used to do and ignore the living fuck out of them and think more about function.

  6. #6
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    I don't really pay attention to my image. I think self-consciously I always thought of myself as geeky/nerdy from an era when that wasn't considered attractive, unless it was some gorgeous girl faking being a geek for the pre-make-over portion of a movie...just because that's the crowd I rolled with...the folks who were probably all pretty attractive if they'd get a make-over. ha.
    That being said, I have always found myself perfectly handsome, naked.

    Lately, with some dietary improvements that arise mostly out of necessity(screwing with my guts), and less to do with a general effort to be healthier, I've gotten a bit more lean, and muscular...in part from the work I was doing at my last job as well.

    In general, I am probably happier with my appearance than is warranted. eg. I'll go a few weeks without paying much attention, then realize that my beard is getting pretty Cast-away-esque, and I'm on the verge of looking like I don't own a mirror...in which case I either trim it, or forget about it for a few more weeks.

    I don't think it affects how I act around people. I don't give my image any thought at all really, except for when I get a hair cut...and even then, I'm either pleased with how I look, or a week away from being pleased with how I look...

    I think I project an image of believing that what I have 'inside' is worth more than what my physical appearance shows...so even if my physical appearance is passable, it's not what I get inflated about...my ego is identified more with the mind than with the body.
    ...the origin of emotional sickness lay in people’s belief that they were their personalities...
    "The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong." ~Carl Jung

  7. #7
    Scobblelotcher Sistamatic's Avatar
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    When I look in the mirror, I feel like a puppeteer. The act of seeing myself causes me to stand differently, tilt my head differently, makes me more self conscious. I don't like that feeling, so I avoid it for the most part, except in as much as mirrors are a practical tool for presentation. I get my sense of what I look like more from others than from myself. From what I see through my own eyes, I feel fairly neutral about my looks. I know that others consider me attractive in spite of my lack of effort. I didn't really see what the appeal was until I saw myself in my nearly identical niece. I can see that she looks almost just like me, and I can see that she is very beautiful, and it clicks. "Oh, that's what people see when they look at me. I get it."

    But it is a annoying when people who normally barely notice me suddenly gush over me like I'm a wonderful person just because I put on a dress and did my hair. I have put so little effort into my appearance and so much effort into my mind and my work that it sort of pisses me off that the former almost always gives me more status than the latter. Every time I'm forced to dress up for a funeral or a wedding or some social nonsense like a party or a business function, everyone wants pictures...they put them up on facebook and print copies and send them to me and sometimes even have them put on coffee mugs. It makes me sick...all these pictures all over people's walls of some strange woman who likes to wear fancy dresses and uncomfortable shoes.

    But apparently none of that is required for me to still look attractive. I wear t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a long-sleeved knee length lab coat with the sleeves pushed up to my elbows at work; my hair is in a bun held together with a plastic hair clip, and I've never worn any make-up at all on campus, and yet I have an on-fire chili pepper on my rate-my-professor page. I like to think it is my self-confidence that is attractive.

    These reactions do color my self-image -- but not to the point where the reflection of myself that I see in other people's eyes gives them the status of puppeteer. You can see that puppeteer effect in real time in some teenagers. They become so aware of how other people see them that it can cause them to move with jerky awkward amateur marionette movements, and I was no exception. As they get older they start to worry more about who they should like rather than who like's them, and if they manage a bit of wisdom, they base these things less and less on appearance.

    I see myself as tall and athletic, with too-long hair and limbs and my eyes are a striking light shade...overall I'm odd enough that everyone always remembers me, but not quite so odd that I am a freak. When I'm a bit overweight, I carry it all in my hips and my ass, which I don't find comfortable, and which elicits sexual comments from the sort of strangers who have little self control, so I really prefer to be in shape. I think I look powerful regardless of how I dress, partially because I am tall and strong looking, and partially because I make few adjustments based on outside expectations. I am pretty sure I have resting bitch face. It can create such negative responses in people that I do find myself habitually putting on an ever so slight smile any time I make eye contact with someone. Not too much though...smile too much and people will think you want them to stick around and be part of your life, and there is no more room there.
    Last edited by Sistamatic; 11-02-2015 at 02:43 AM.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

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  8. #8
    was here.. LordLatch's Avatar
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    "he look like a man"

    I find myself smiling at myself when look in the mirror. That seems to indicate I like the way I look which is odd considering I have features that make me feel a bit self conscious. I like being a little fat so I look stocky without working out. Some of my work is actually labor so I have decent muscle tone and some my veins are large enough to hide a pencil in them. I also have honking huge calves that look like 2 slab of meat. If I flex in just right, it makes flat spot I can rest a cup of coffee on.

    I have resting bitch face also. When I posted this picture on my facebook, my brother said I make that face. People refer to it as the stare, that look, etc and stammer when they talk to me. One dude asked me flat out if I hated him. I replied, "you haven't angered me in months." I would imagine my irl persona has distancing qualities much like Ptah's online one does. People wonder if I want to destroy them. My walk also must seem menacing because people move out of my way though I'm a fairly small dude.

    I should also add that I went to a model agency when I was a late teen because I wanted a job. The dude told me I was average looking so therefore good looking enough for local tv but not national. I just assumed he was right. Seems like those of the opposite sex that think I look good think I look really good and the rest seem indifferent. I was told that someone told them,"LordLatch should be a model because he's soooo beautiful!" It's amusing to note that she is legally blind and has never even driven because of it-that's the rest of the story!! Gay men seem to like me too. I included all of that because all of those things go into my self assessment calculations.
    This just in: I'm accepting all friend requests too unless you're a fricken jerk and I can't stand your existence and inane drivel. If that's the case, then I'll accept your friend request so I can keep an eye on your ass unless you don't hold any interest for me; then only the threat of keeping my eye on you stands. feces

  9. #9
    Now we know... Asteroids Champion ACow's Avatar
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    I think i'll always have a slight bit of sub-conscious saying I'm smaller and thinner than I really am due to being both lanky and small during the early teen years of high school. I shot up a bit at the end of high school and put some shoulders onto my otherwise slim frame via boxing during university, but I had at the time the mental image of the gangly small teenager. I do remember being rather self-conscious when younger about the thickness of my arms and a gap in my teeth.

    Like @Ptah, I like to delude myself that physical appearance isn't on my radar. Like @Sistamatic, I get really irritated when people make positive comments or insinuations over my physical appearance and pay absolutely no attention to my mental/intellectual world.

    I think it took until the end of university for me to realise both that I've grown up and that a "not insignificant" number of females, and some gay guys, might even find me physically attractive. I didn't have body dysmorphia or anything while younger, I just didn't really think of myself as something that another human being would look at with a level of sexual or aesthetic desire. Frankly the idea would have seemed laughable to me when i was younger, and it still seems weird, but the number of reports that filter through have made me accept that it must be a reality at least among a significant minority of the human race at the very least. Thank god for mental illness eh?

    I'm not cut or buff in any sense of the word, but I'm not fat or obese either, and I don't particularly care. I wouldn't say I try to blend in as such, more so I just don't particularly care for being noticed.

    I'm in a place right now where, i've actually got some aspects about me that I really like. I like my eyebrows, i don't care what anyone else says. I'm currently growing out my beard, but when I catch myself in the reflection, I actually think it looks pretty good. Like me, as it were. Although again, I'm aware enough to realise I'm carrying some risk by letting my facial hair grow while working for a bank, but so far, fuck em. Beards are pretty mainstream where I live, and I've been getting a few compliments, but also one or two people who have said it makes me appear more aggressive. It probably does add on a few years. Even when I was shaving, I kinda hated the clean-shaved look, and so would constantly hover around with a week or two of stubble.

    I probably need to spend a bit more time on exercise, and I'm debating whether to keep shaving the top-of-my-head-hair, or whether I could just let it grow somehow like the facial hair.

    I've already had long hair during uni, and I've also shaved myself bald as an experiment on appearance and ego while younger, so none of it is particularly confronting. Its just trying to find that comfortable place at the moment between effort, lifestyle, using it socially for my own ends (which involves keeping certain people away as much as anything else) and my own psychological "residual self image".

  10. #10
    Senior Member Makers!*'s Avatar
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    When I look into the mirror, I see a tall, wiry body that moves with the strength and efficiency to pack gear across the Appalachia, drive spikes in railroads from Kansas City to California, dig a shipping canal in Panama fifty miles long, and traverse the Alaska frontier, all after getting piss drunk the night before.

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