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Thread: Siblings

  1. #1
    malarkey oxyjen's Avatar
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    Siblings

    Describe the relationship you have with your siblings. Speculation about their MBTI type is encouraged.

  2. #2
    .: PERSISTENCE IS ALL :. Pan_Sonic_000's Avatar
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    ISFJ sister.

    Close when we were growing up, but more because we commiserated in our shared dislike for our mom / went to the same school / lived in the same house dealing with the same weirdness from our mom. etc.

    Once we got out on our own and left traumas behind, it became apparent we were very different people. I was a nihilist, she was a fundie. We've both come back towards the middle since those days, but any connection that was once there is unsalvageable, I think. She reaches out sometimes and I can tell she's making an effort to get closer, but she was the one who originally shut everyone out.

    Typing that makes it sound petty, and maybe it is. I don't have a dog in that fight, I just gave the fuck up a long time ago and don't know how to care again. It's like a highschool friend who rings you up one day. You have no connection now, but that has no bearing on the past either.

    It's awkward trying to act like we're involved in each others lives to any appreciable sense - but here comes Christmas and I've not seen her in years. Nor do I want to. Ugh. I'm bracing for it. Where would I even start building a relationship?

    I'm envious of people who are close to their siblings (stig and sista come to mind). She's my only sibling and I can't talk to her because she lives life in this bizarre christian moral architecture. Living in the mid-west, military life, fundie churches, super into ISFJ traditional bullshit. I can't stomach it, let alone look past it to develop a deep bond with her.

    Sometimes I wish my sister was cool.
    Wild skies
    Full moon and thoughts collide
    We look for answers in those catatonic, bloodshot eyes
    A steady stream of madness
    Rises to a flood...

    ...The clock is ticking for Bad Blood

  3. #3
    eyeing you rabbit warrior kitsune's Avatar
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    Hmmm. I never thought about typing my half-sister. Definitely an introvert of some sort... Since we grew up in two different households and she's ten years younger, I don't really know her that well.
    Last edited by kitsune; 11-21-2015 at 03:30 AM.

    "
    'I cannot play with you,' the fox said. 'I am not tamed.'" - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince (1943)

    REMINDER TO SELF WHEN DEALING WITH THE RABBIT WARRIOR: "All warfare is based on deception." - Sun Tzu,
    The Art of War

  4. #4
    Bringer of Jollity MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    My older by two years brother is a tested INTJ. We get along much better than we did growing up although it feels like there's a barrier between us over the last year or so. We're of comparable intelligence and looks. Most of our conversations are about politics, sports or movies. I don't remember the last time feelings entered into the equation beyond annoyance w/ greater humanity. I don't know if I'm guarded or both of us are. If we didn't know eachother we'd get along fine but I don't think we'd be great friends. I still think I did really well in the sibling lottery. He's honest, diligent and kindhearted. I have a lot of admiration for him.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    I have no problems with my sister, though I wouldn't say we're particularly close as far as siblings go. She's doing the whole family thing right now -- in the PTA, running the annual girl scout cookie sale for her daughter's troop, taking her kids to lessons and shit, plus working a full time professional-type job and leading fitness classes part time. I see her about once a month since we moved 20 minutes away a year ago, but before that I'd see her once a year and talk to her maybe once or twice a year, and email her about as often. It's not that I didn't care about her, we just have very little common ground and thus not much to talk about. My mother tells me that when we were young my sister always felt she was in competition with me, but I had no idea. At this point our lives have taken such divergent paths that there is no competition. Or maybe there is and I still don't realize it.

  6. #6
    singularity precursor Limey's Avatar
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    I have one older brother, both he and his wife apparently test INTJ, everybody is a fuckin' INTJ these days.
    I think they're both actually ISTJ. He was always about the rules when we were growing up and he's always had mundane, repetitive jobs that I don't think I could stand to do for long.
    We fought all the way through from little kids to teens.
    I talk to him once or twice per year.
    Chris Brown did nothing wrong

  7. #7
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    I'm the oldest, and siblings follow from oldest to youngest(with my estimation of their types):

    Sister 1: ISFJ

    I fought with her a lot through childhood, but we get along pretty good now. Somehow she's ended up being the most neutral out of my siblings when it comes to the little dramas in the family. For a J, she's not super judgmental...I think because she views judgmentalism very judgmentally...especially in light of experiences she's had being judged. At her worst she's moody and withdrawn...at her best she's self-aware, and dedicated to integrity. She's very unlike me in a lot of ways...loves to travel, and loves work, and loves socializing...but she does all those things in a way that I can appreciate. She's super independent, and works incredibly hard not to burden anyone with her needs. I've always found her strange how she's drawn to that kind of independence and autonomy, because it seems isolating to me rather than liberating...but even so, she gets a lot of respect from me for it.

    Sister 2: INFP

    I've always gotten along with her really well. She's the most kind-hearted of the siblings...very responsible, and value-driven...she's probably the wealthiest of us all too, but has no idea how much money she's got in the bank because she doesn't care about money. We've always connected over philosophy and spirituality subjects, although we each approach the topics from very different angles. She sees me as someone with a great deal of wisdom, so that definitely makes our relationship feel positive to me. I see her as wise, too...but in an intuitive/heart-based way that is enhanced when I can help her to organize her sense of things so that it can be articulated in a clear concise way. The positivity of her intention in life is something that inspires me, and her values are something that I can relate to well.

    Sister 3: ISFJ

    This sis and I do not get along particularly well. She's a chronic manipulator of people...which has made her a good salesperson. She could sell sand to Egyptians, and ice to the Inuit. She's very intelligent, but not disciplined in her thinking...she's got anger issues which totally undermine her capacity to reason...and she can get so cold and mean that I'd consider the possibility that she's a T...but she's not one. When she goes through any sorts of crises in her life, she sort of loses all connection with rationality. She's very secretive, too...which definitely puts a strain on our capacity to connect. She wears so many different faces for different people that it's hard for me to know her well...although I'm sure I do know her better than most, given that as a sibling I've probably seen more of her faces than she lets others see. I think she sort of resists having a deep relationship with anyone...or perhaps just with me, because I'm pretty inclined to talking about psychological and spiritual issues, and I'm apt to bring stuff to the surface that is very sensitive and painful for her to face. Because of this, our relationship is pretty superficial.

    Brother 1: ENFP

    My bro is 9 years younger than me. He's probably the most gifted person I know...he's amazing at everything he does, be it sports, or music, or work, or anything...but for some reason he lacks all sorts of self-confidence. He's also got a fantastic humorous side that's well loved by all who know him. Throughout his childhood, I think he looked up to me a lot...and that was nice...but something happened, and I stopped being cool, and started being something else to him. I think he's still coming to grips with being an adult, and the fact that I'm a 'grown up' with kids and RRSPs and responsibilities...I think that's made him feel a bit alienated from me. When I started dating my (now) wife, I think it put a bit of a wedge between us as well, because before I started dating her, I was pretty much available round the clock to hang out with him...and adjusting to having to make time for our relationship didn't come naturally to either of us, since it never was anything like that before. In any case, I love my bro and cherish spending time with him whenever I can, although it's rare that our worlds intersect much these days. I think we connect most deeply on a creative level...which is great, because he's beloved by many for his creativity.
    ...the origin of emotional sickness lay in people’s belief that they were their personalities...
    "The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong." ~Carl Jung

  8. #8
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    I have a younger sister and brother. I'm bad at typing people so I'm not going to attempt to guess their types. I'm pretty sure my sister is a J though. We shared a bedroom for a period of time growing up and our biggest fight was always that she kept the room clean and spotless and I left my stuff everywhere. She's still like that. Spotless house. Even with a baby.

    My brother is super impulsive. He gets an idea and he just does it. He doesn't put a lot of thought into it beforehand. This seems to work out for him. Maybe he just doesn't talk about the terrible things he tried that didn't work.

    I don't talk to either of my siblings that often. I pretty much only talk to them when there's something to talk about. But then I'm not the type of person to chat just for the sake of chatting. They either know this or don't want to talk to me. I don't know which, but they never contact me either just to talk. I'm glad they don't. It's not that I don't like them. We get along fine when we do actually talk. I have more in common with my brother than my sister. More to talk about with him.

  9. #9
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    I'm the oldest of three, having a younger brother and sister, sister being the youngest.

    Brother is an INFP. We get along pretty well, see each other fairly frequently, etc. One point of common awkwardness between us is that he's still in very much in contact with my family whereas I've excised myself from that mess a long time ago. Every so often he tells me of this or that family member's woes or needs, etc, and I just listen in silence, really not giving a damn, and resisting the urge to ask him why he does. You know, things like, "grandma X is in the hospital nigh terminal, and this is when I think the visiting hours are", to which I just let him say his piece and shrug. I suppose one reason we saw each other so often for many years is that we happened to live down the street from each other. Being that I moved earlier this year, I'm pleased that we're still in contact and hanging out, despite the city-to-suburbs commute now involved. It is odd to consider how very different we are, lifestyle, social-life and personality-wise. I've been told we share a very similar manner of speaking (voice, cadence, etc), but that's about it, resemblence-wise.

    Sister is ISFJ. She moved away (out of state, other side of the country) a long time ago. I simply haven't kept in contact with her. Truth is, we hardly ever really knew each other to begin with (7 year difference). I do somewhat regret this, but not enough to do anything about it. I've been told that my sister and I more saliently resemble each other overall, in terms of facial features, speaking, and a few quirks. She and my brother have always been close, which is weird every time I think about it. The few times we've interacted over the past decade have been brief, pleasant but quite insubstantial. We simply don't have that much in common.

  10. #10
    <3 gator's Avatar
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    My sister is ENFJ. We used to fight a lot when we were younger. Part of it was type. She used to be way more extroverted and in my face all the time and I used to be way more introverted with a way larger personal space bubble. We've both mellowed out over the years. The other thing is that my dad is really emotionally manipulative and tends to pit the two of us against each other. He will reward one of us to punish the other one so when we were younger we used to compete for attention a lot and my parents would get angry that we never got along.

    When we got a bit older we realised that things were just fine when our parents were out of the room. We could hang out and cooperate just fine. So we eventually came to an agreement that we weren't going to let dad manipulate us anymore.

    My sister's cool. She loves me very much and it shows. She's funny and quirky and smart. She spends a lot of time accommodating me and my social shortcomings. For things like Christmas and birthdays and things she knows that I'm shit at remembering/deciding on/buying presents so she'll usually deal with it for me, and then ask me for money to pay for whatever she bought in my name. She also really likes driving so she used to be my chauffeur all the time when I was living in Canada.

    I'm disappointed with some of her life choices. I think she could be doing better things with her life but I don't ever dare bring it up because I know she will get very angry, hurt and emotional. We can talk openly about a lot of things but that is one that is off limits. There's a few others, I guess. Like a few weeks ago she mentioned that she had an IUD, which is the very first time that we've ever talked about anything to do with sex. Also, she mentioned once that she knows nothing about my internal workings or private life. I suspect she thinks I'm a lesbian.

    All in all we have a good relationship. We skype every few weeks. I just sent her a parcel of goodies but she hasn't received it yet.

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