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Thread: I don't like fruit

  1. #1
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    I don't like fruit

    Well, I do...but they're probably my least favourite food category.
    While I like the taste of a lot of fruit, my body doesn't seem to enjoy digesting it very much...I'd credit that to poor preparation...but I'm not sure that you can improperly prepare fruit when you're eating it raw.
    I also don't like having sticky fingers...so veggies are a more preferable finger-food.

    Vegetables, seafood, meat, dairy, nuts, butter...all perfectly enjoyable food groups with little to no flaws worth mentioning...

    ...oh yeah, and a lot of fruit stains are worse than stains from most other food groups...so the messy/sticky factor is doubly bad.

  2. #2
    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
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    This is simply baffling. You're a bad human being and I sentence you to being Snooki's husband.
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

  3. #3
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    Yeah, I never really had any allies in this. I just find it strange how people can oppose veggies and seafood, but be bananas over bananas.

  4. #4
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    ^
    I like fruit, but I'm with you on bananas.

  5. #5
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    I don't like how you pretty much can't eat any decent tasting fruit without the need for paper towel or some sort of wipe. I also dislike having to peel things...it's tedious.

  6. #6
    In it to win it 99Problems's Avatar
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    Fruit is either not ripe or over ripe. You have the golden hour where it is perfectly ripe, that usually happens about 3am when you are fast asleep.

  7. #7
    Global Moderator Polemarch's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if any of you have actually had fruit.

    Apples don't need to be peeled, just cut it up with a knife and go to town. Clementines are life's perfect orange, because they are easily peeled, seedless, no mess. Deliciously sweet. Strawberries can be eaten pretty much whole, just don't eat the stems. Grapes.....Grapes require no effort!
    We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

  8. #8
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
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    The only effort with grapes is picking out a good bunch--but it is rare that this is difficult.

    I agree with Polemarch on Clementines as well. They're perfect little snacks and peel easily and not excessively.

    You don't even need a knife to eat an apple. You can eat the whole damn thing. Even the core. I have a complicated relationship with apples because they make my belly hurt unless they're cooked. But I recognize many grand cultivars. I will concede that it is difficult to find flavorful apples in supermarkets though--they've even made some of the most flavorful apples so big they've lost much of their flavor. The best apples are smaller than your average adult male's fist. The worst offenders have "Delicious" in the name of the cultivar. They're only good for weak cider and acceptable applesauce--though even a "Delicious" apple will pair well with sharp cheddar.

    Lemons and oranges are great for cleaning your hands after a meal--very important if eating fish and not wanting your hands to smell like fish. Just reserve a wedge from your desert orange (or fish a lemon from your water) and scrub your hands like it was a bar of soap. Then rinse and dry. No more fish smell.

    Kiwi fruit are simply delicious. You can cut them in half and eat them with a spoon, or just slurp out the contents like a baleen whale sifting algae and krill.

    Complaining about the mess is a personal problem. Try eating a steak with your fingers. Or turkey, or fish, or shellfish. Your hands will be messy. You can't even eat french fries without needing to clean your fingers afterward. Complaining about eating fruit leaving your hands sticky is a null argument. Use a utensil then, like you do when eating anything else you don't want residue on your hands from. Got juice on your face? Take smaller bites--like you would for anything else.

    Disliking bananas is beyond my ken, but hey, more for me. It's as if bananas are being singled out for specific hate just because they lack any of the features complained about in other fruit: they are neat, efficient, and soft on the digestion. They're also sweet, creamy, easy to store and peel, when they go bad you use them to make beer or bread, and they're full of nutrition--they have enough potassium to stave of nocturnal leg cramps. I'd much rather eat a banana a day than a pill.

    Now, someone disliking figs, I can understand. They're a love it or hate it fruit. Of all the many different types of fruit I've eaten, they are the closest to still being a flower. They are moist, mushy, stringy, and taste like a flower when fresh. When ripe they give much the same mouth feel as rotten fruit, and they are ridiculously delicate. I love 'em, mind you, but I can understand how a person might not like them.

    When dried, they are much like giant raisins, but richer in flavor and obvious sugar content. Eat too many and you may as well have eaten prunes. But again, I love 'em, but can understand why a person might dislike them.

    What about pineapple? If all you eat is canned pineapple, you're missing out. Fresh pineapple is magic. It can prop up flagging meat dishes as well as salads. It blends well with ham and teriyaki, and has enough citric acid to make a salt-free meat tenderizer. It also makes for great smoothies and plays well with many types of alcohol. It's also marvelous dessert on it's own, served cold or roasted.

    Cherries are much better than cherry flavoring would cause you to think. You have to pick a good cultivar though. Choke-cherries are only good for gathering piestones. One of the great tragedies of processed foods is that every year, tons of cherries of a flavorful cultivar are processed into maraschino cherries--and the first thing they do is to chemically drain them of all flavor and colour. Despicable.
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

  9. #9
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    Re: Bananas and Pineapple...I expect that I haven't had proper experiences with them...we're quite far from anywhere that grows those things, and I expect that they're picked super early and that they kind of ripen during transport, leading to a less-than-ideal experience.

    As I said above too, I like the taste of a lot of fruit...but the way it kicks my digestive system in the guts isn't usually worth the pleasure.

    Also, I think you're nuts if you think you can wash your hands with an orange. They might smell nice, but they'll be sticky without water.

  10. #10
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
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    You scrub your hands with the orange--you use it like soap. Washing your hands with just soap won't be all that useful either. But, soap won't get smells off your hands the way oranges and lemons do. They really kill the smell of fish in particular.

    I understand not liking fruit if it kicks your digestive system in the metaphorical nuts. Most of the foods I dislike I dislike for their gastrointestinal implications. Apples and pears give me a sour stomach and often a painful stomach. Even apple juice is something I don't drink under normal circumstances even though I like it quite dearly. It leaves me with nasty sulfurous belches that leave my throat feeling like an evil spirit has clawed it's way out--and anyone around me would agree as it assaults their sinuses.

    For similar reasons I've forbidden my father from eating chicken nuggets. If he has more than two, he spends the rest of the day farting and belching an odor like rotten eggs.

    I'm in favour of avoiding any food you know leads to a putrid existence. Unless it's really really good, in which case I'm in favour of saving it for special occasions where you'll be (voluntarily) alone until the symptoms pass. Some things are worth the occasional discomfort.
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

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