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Thread: Who do you talk to

  1. #1
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Who do you talk to

    When things are bad, who do you talk to? Can you just not talk to anyone? Does anyone ask? Do you brush them off? Is there someone you talk to that doesn't listen? Someone you'd talk to if you knew they'd listen? Is there someone that pretends to listen? Someone that doesn't even exist?

    Sorry, delayed Sunday thread.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  2. #2
    a fool on a journey pensive_pilgrim's Avatar
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    I don't really talk to anyone anymore. Definitely not when things are bad.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    When things are bad, who do you talk to? Can you just not talk to anyone? Does anyone ask? Do you brush them off? Is there someone you talk to that doesn't listen? Someone you'd talk to if you knew they'd listen? Is there someone that pretends to listen? Someone that doesn't even exist?

    Sorry, delayed Sunday thread.
    Sometimes my mom or best friend; sometimes, I just sink into myself and lose the will to explain. My mom associates crying with whining, so, really, I am embarrassed when bleed emotion -- that doesn't stop me, the shame makes it worse, so I can't comfort myself either.

    I feel sort of comfortable spilling TMIs all over this forum. Well, embarrassed, but I do it anyway as self-help.

    I definitely need people when I'm down. The more isolated I am, the more floaty and disconnected I feel. I've gone for months without seeing a friend or family member and I wanted to die. Also, I only talked to someone about 1-2 times a week on the phone. I really wanted to die.

    I am a social being, despite introversion. Like most people, I imagine.


  4. #4
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    I usually will talk to my dad if I talk to anybody...but mostly I sort everything out as best I can internally, first...so the talking is really just so I can have a trusted person to audit my process.
    ...the origin of emotional sickness lay in people’s belief that they were their personalities...
    "The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong." ~Carl Jung

  5. #5
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    When things are bad, who do you talk to?
    Bartenders

    I'm mostly kidding.

    Actually, during the bad times I've found it fulfilling to talk to strangers (which historically has happened in bars). They'll give you their honest thoughts about your life as you tell it to them, and you get to vent fairly anonymously. You'd be amazed (or not) at how interested people are in hearing about other people's lives when they aren't going well.

  6. #6
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    I went through a rough patch in my 20s and at that point I learned that most people don't want to be bothered with your problems. Nobody likes a debbie downer.

    Now I don't really talk to anyone. Most peoples' advice is useless to me -- they see your problems through the filter of their own lives, I guess that's to be expected. Anyway, I don't think a person can ever really understand another person. Sometimes I post in my blog, but usually by the time I get to the point of wanting to talk about it, the thoughts are too jumbled to make any sense.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    I've got one close friend who I'm comfortable talking to when things are bad. She's an ENTP and her advice is frequently bad (if I tell her I want to leave everything and become a coke head in Costa Rica, she says do it), but it's nice to be able to talk at least.

  8. #8
    Tawaci ki a Gnaska ki Osito Polar's Avatar
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    I can always talk with my mom and dad. One of my high school/college ex-girlfriends is still a close friend, and I can talk to her. She's suffered from terrible mental health problems, so there are a lot of things she gets and can sympathize with, but she's also a terrible one to ask for advice. A lot of the time though, just listening and caring about me is enough. I've got a few other close friends who I can talk with, but they're often less accessible and wrapped up in their own lives. I think that's one of the reasons people become more socially isolated as they approach mid-life. Everyone gets super busy with their own stuff and unless you really make an effort to maintain your relationships with people they somewhat fall to the wayside. That's fine when things go well, but if you suddenly find yourself in a crisis you have to deal with it with less support from your network.
    "I don't have psychological problems." --Madrigal

    "When you write about shooting Polemarch in the head, that's more like a first-person view, like you're there looking down the sight of the gun." --Utisz

    David Wong, regarding Chicago
    Six centuries ago, the pre-Colombian natives who settled here named this region with a word which in their language means "the Mouth of Shadow". Later, the Iroquois who showed up and inexplicably slaughtered every man, woman and child renamed it "Seriously, Fuck that Place". When French explorer Jacques Marquette passed through the area he marked his map with a drawing of a brownish blob emerging from between the Devil's buttocks.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Senseye's Avatar
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    Not a talker. Never understood the point. When you are an NT hammer all the world is a nail to be hammered down with rational analysis.

    Per @starla, I don't find other people's advice particularly useful, ergo talking would only serve the potential purpose of making me feel better. However that doesn't really work for me, since my mind will think: what good is talking about it going to do? You need to deal with it.

    But you know, I'm an INTP outlier and all. And I do like a good rant on occasion, so I shouldn't dismiss the emotional benefits of talking totally.

  10. #10
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    Pretty much only my husband.

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