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Thread: games you play at the gym

  1. #1
    creator kali's Avatar
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    games you play at the gym

    a la the movie Speed where Keanu Reeves can't drive the bus below 50mph or else it will explode, when I'm on the elliptical I can't train below a 10km/h speed or else I explode

    run on a small incline (1-3%) on the treadmill. if I get tired I just decrease the incline while maintaining my jogging speed so the fatigue is appeased and I don't get to feel like a failure

    furiously avoiding eye contact

    fun games
    "I fucking hate the cold!" - Wim Hof

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    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    I wish I felt free to do stuff like that. When I worked out I'd often max out like nobody ever maxed out before. Now I'm afraid of tearing something or getting a heart attack.

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    Bringer of Jollity MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    I do my cardio outside and attempt eye contact with everybody and exchange greetings with the 2% of people who verbally initiate them. The next step is to say good morning to every single person and see who returns my greetings. Of course, gray hairs are the most prolific greeters, particularly men with dogs. Particularly particularly mustachioed men with dogs. The least prolific greeters are people under forty. Too busy with their damn Pokemon!

    I do calisthenics at home rather than lift weights, in spite of constant sermonizing from weight lifters, which I find somewhat convincing but not enough to enter a gym, especially when it costs money, especially especially when I'm a germaphobe. I think I'd just try not to get caught looking at people or avoid bursting into laughter at the sounds people make when exerting themselves.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

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    DOA Space Invaders Champion Neville's Avatar
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    Wear ridiculously short shorts or really tight leggings and then I make eye contact with all the cute people staring at me through the mirrors.
    “Then there you lie like the one warm spark in the heart of an arctic crystal.”

  5. #5
    creator kali's Avatar
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    If someone is running on the treadmill next to me, i have zo beat their speed or match it. If i match their speed, i have to mirror their movements

    Forget to bring a towel so spend the whole workout a sweaty bacteria-infested mess

    Fun games
    "I fucking hate the cold!" - Wim Hof

    art and flowers: https://www.instagram.com/cloudlilt/

  6. #6
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    I like to silently internally judge people based on how bad they're botching their squats.

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    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
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    Squash, the knee ruiner. I may pick this up again.
    "All my heroes are dead" - John Zorn

    "It's not selfish if you hate yourself"

  8. #8
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuck View Post
    I like to silently internally judge people based on how bad they're botching their squats.
    I did this when seeing people do things I thought fundamentally stupid. Two main things I saw just seemed like idiocy.

    The first is the one I think will create the greatest disagreement: leg wraps. Yeah, I know, it's for safety. But if you feel the need to wrap a meter of belting around your knees to keep them from exploding, perhaps you shouldn't be lifting that much weight. Maybe you should back it off and accept your max safe lift and pat yourself on the back for making it. I have similar thoughts about kidney belts, but not as strong. But I never reached a point where I felt any inclination or need to use either.

    The second was when I saw someone using stretch bands looped over the top of a squat rack and onto the bar. This obviously lightens the load a little bit, but it's a really shit way to do it. It's much better and more reasonable to say, not put so much weight on. Try massing collars if your looking to add a pound or two and can't find the right plate.

    You have no idea how much those bands are actually lifting. Might be there was a plate that would have been perfect. Might be you're completely balancing out the last little plates you put on. But no matter how much you're actually taking off, you're doing something to fuck up your form. Balancing a heavy bar properly is work enough when all you're dealing with is gravity, but add in tethers that are going to be pulling slightly off midline and you're cruising for problems. It's just obviously stupid.
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

  9. #9
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    @Hephaestus

    Do you go to a serious powerlifting gym? Both of those things are pretty advanced.

    I get the bands- it's to change the dynamics of the lift slightly as an assistance lift. That's the gist of "westside method". They do all kinds of silly shit... Squat walkouts are also enraging.

    Yeah knee wraps- if my knees were hurting enough that I was scared I was gonna blow an acl, I'd probably not opt to slap some gauze on in lieu of, oh idk, trying not to cripple myself.

    Powerlifting is seductive.

    Edit: the bands are so it weighs more at the top and less at the bottom. It makes it easier to lift heavier, theoretically hitting your nervous system harder than your specific muscles. It's the same reason you do rack pulls.

  10. #10
    igKnight Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuck View Post
    @Hephaestus

    Do you go to a serious powerlifting gym? Both of those things are pretty advanced.
    I don't think so. I think there are just a couple people who happen to be into that. At the time it was the only gym in town. Now there are two plus a Crossfit temple. But at the time, it was probably the only place local that had a rack--and I mean singular. One rack, one Smith machine, and pad to do deads and those bent over rows where you shove one end of a barbell into the corner and lift the other end. It had all the basics for one or two people to be serious at a time.

    The thing that still boggles my mind though--the free weights are on the second floor.

    Don't have a budget to go anywhere at the moment, which sucks, because without the heavy work of machining, I'm putting on the wrong kind of weight.


    Edit: the bands are so it weighs more at the top and less at the bottom. It makes it easier to lift heavier, theoretically hitting your nervous system harder than your specific muscles. It's the same reason you do rack pulls.
    Yeah, I get that, and to my mind that's an even bigger reason it's dumb. Lift what you can lift. Once you start doing that sort of shit, you've lost all ability to measure your activity. Even if by easier to lift heavier you're adding a third more mass without compensating a third of the mass--who knows what you actually lifted? May as well load up 600lbs and dip a quarter inch and call it your PR. At least with that sort of lift, you could reliably calculate the work you performed volumetrically as a function of mass and distance traveled.

    Never done rack pulls. Had to google, but rack pulls are a better way to do that sort of thing for the reasons already mentioned. /rabidlayman
    --Mention of these things is so taboo, they aren't even allowed a name for the prohibition. It is just not done.

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