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Thread: News articles that should be in the Onion

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    Mens bona regnum possidet ferrus's Avatar
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    News articles that should be in the Onion

    Die Logik ist keine Lehre, sondern ein Spiegelbild der Welt. Die Logik ist transcendental. - Wittgenstein

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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Don't be texting in a Florida cinema; it's very unsociable http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/14/us...iews.html?_r=0

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    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyng1 View Post
    Don't be texting in a Florida cinema; it's very unsociable http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/14/us...iews.html?_r=0
    He's claiming self-defense now. The victim threw popcorn at him.

    http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/...urtis_ree.html

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    gryffindor Hermione's Avatar
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    The popcorn defense now, isn't it? Not I'm a fucking lunatic hater wtih a gun I shouldn't even have defense. These gun toters who cannot even live their own lives will use anything, anything as justification for their lunacy. Shoot them all. I am done with these fucking ' i need to have my rights to kill ' people. Done. I am done. Trash, nothing but trash.

    They need their own separate lands where they can go and annoy all hell out of each other and shoot each other.

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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Apparently this tee shirt is illegal... http://www.raglanroast.co.nz/hit-me-...amp-c-277.html or so says the Ministry for Culture and Heritage.

    Perhaps I need to get one before they run out.


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    The Pompatus of Love C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyng1 View Post
    Apparently this tee shirt is illegal... http://www.raglanroast.co.nz/hit-me-...amp-c-277.html or so says the Ministry for Culture and Heritage.
    Why? Because the Maori supporter is holding a surfboard? Surfing is one of the Polynesian people's great gifts to the world.
    Your gardening sucks and your avocados ain't fruitin'. -- Sappho the Maestro

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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.J.Woolf View Post
    Why? Because the Maori supporter is holding a surfboard? Surfing is one of the Polynesian people's great gifts to the world.
    Apparently there's even a $50,000 fine if the Ministry of Thought gets too pissed. Raglan is a little surf town a couple of hours from here and the surfers probably smoke too much pot to get too stressed about it.

    Coffee entrepreneur Tony Bruce was surprised and amused when he received an official complaint about one of his Raglan Roast t-shirt designs. The Ministry for Culture and Heritage wrote to Tony late in 2013 advising him that his Raglan Roast surfing design was illegal as it could be confused with New Zealand’s official coat of arms. The Ministry said it had received complaints from members of the public about the Raglan Roast design. The Raglan Roast design is on their Hit me Bobo – Stamp t-shirt, which features a Maori warrior holding a surf board. New Zealand’s coat of arms has a Maori warrior holding a taiaha.

    A spokesperson for the Ministry said they were looking forward to sitting down with Tony over a cup of coffee to sort it out. The word on Bow Street is that Raglanders are happy with the Raglan Roast design the way it is.

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    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Snowboarders sue ski area, alleging that ban on snowboards violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment.

    http://unofficialnetworks.com/snowbo...tution-127894/


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