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Thread: News articles that should be in the Onion

  1. #1191
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    Last edited by Catoptric; 08-28-2017 at 12:19 AM.

  2. #1192
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    There is a woman called the 'Mad Pooper' pooping all over Colorado

    I would carry a special shovel around to let people know I was ready for my "nature walk."

  3. #1193
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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  4. #1194
    Tsundoku LordLatch's Avatar
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    I know that chic
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

  5. #1195

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  7. #1197
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    Toddler shoots playmates at Michigan daycare

    I suspect in a few years, all the children will have scars like the Chucky doll, and will protect themselves with knives, and guns. It's all cute until they pop a cap in you; eventually the children will outnumber the adult population, and they will be in rival gangs, and have babies in their early teens. It is ultimately us, against them, and they multiply much more rapidly. . .

    Imagine a small child in a scraggly (milk mucus) voice saying, "I'm gonna kill you," and tell me if it's cute then.

    Though that was mostly in jest, this could easily become a reality (just as "war torn countries" often enlist their youth, because the adults are all dead or blown up.)
    Last edited by Catoptric; 09-29-2017 at 02:41 AM.

  8. #1198

  9. #1199
    Quote Originally Posted by Catoptric View Post
    Context dude. It matters.
    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    my crime is that i disrupted the echo chamber

  10. #1200

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