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Thread: News articles that should be in the Onion

  1. #1231
    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    There was a liquor ban in the Coromandel for New Years so some kids built an island and claimed they were drinking in "international waters".

    "That's creative thinking - if I had known [about it] I probably would have joined them," said local police commander Inspector John Kelly when told about the sand island.


  2. #1232
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyng1 View Post
    There was a liquor ban in the Coromandel for New Years so some kids built an island and claimed they were drinking in "international waters".

  3. #1233
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    During 1950-1960's A Family From Texas Had A Lion As A Pet (more images: Blondie, the Living Room Lion

    And apparently this was one of many such wild animals the owner had in his possession before one of the animals severely mauled a family member; in which he decided to keep only 'Blondie.'

    More info on the owner

    This was commemorating
    https://www.facebook.com/CharlieHippSr/

    (I think this is probably more suited for Historical Fragments.)
    Last edited by Catoptric; 01-03-2018 at 02:16 AM.

  4. #1234
    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    A new law that took effect in Oregon this week will allow residents in rural counties to pump their own gas.

    “I don’t even know HOW to pump gas and I am 62, native Oregonian . . . I say NO THANKS! I don’t like to smell like gasoline!” one woman wrote on KTVL’s Facebook post.

    “No! Disabled, seniors, people with young children in the car need help. Not to mention getting out of your car with transients around and not feeling safe. This is a very bad idea. Grrr,” another woman wrote.

  5. #1235
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

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  8. #1238
    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Photographer Simon Edelman was fired after leaking pictures showing Coal CEO Robert Murray dictating energy policy to Secretary Rick Perry. Now he's seeking whistleblower protection. https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/...y-and-big-coal

  9. #1239
    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    Deaf mum sues Little Mix promoter in sign language row

    Why not read the lyrics on a piece of paper and a flashlight, or have a TV screen with the lyrics dubbed in? It doesn't exactly make it much easier to see an interpreter from a distance, when the performance is really about the music; they should have just refunded her the money and offered the concert for free, if clearly she couldn't hear it (though I wonder if that side-steps their legal obligation.)

    It reminds me of a claim that people with disabilities should have access to fast food chains at all hours of operation, even when only a drive through/thru is provided, when people are in a wheelchair and not in a car (in fact a bicycle is denied drive-through access) and I believe a lawsuit might have been created (perhaps this same one 'BURGER KING WHEELCHAIR ACCESS CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT' for $19 million in class action.)

    Man beaten to pulp after offering to pay for attackers’ meal
    (don't forget he would still get beaten up and robbed. . .)

  10. #1240
    wetback Space Invaders Champion Fitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catoptric View Post
    Deaf mum sues Little Mix promoter in sign language row

    Why not read the lyrics on a piece of paper and a flashlight, or have a TV screen with the lyrics dubbed in? It doesn't exactly make it much easier to see an interpreter from a distance, when the performance is really about the music; they should have just refunded her the money and offered the concert for free, if clearly she couldn't hear it (though I wonder if that side-steps their legal obligation.)


    You'd think you of all people would be more considerate of people with disabilities. Look at all the accommodations we make for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Catoptric View Post
    It reminds me of a claim that people with disabilities should have access to fast food chains at all hours of operation, even when only a drive through/thru is provided, when people are in a wheelchair and not in a car (in fact a bicycle is denied drive-through access) and I believe a lawsuit might have been created (perhaps this same one 'BURGER KING WHEELCHAIR ACCESS CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT' for $19 million in class action.)
    uhhh, straight from your source dude...

    The Burger King wheelchair access settlement will resolve a 2011 class action lawsuit, titled Vallabhapurapu, et al v. Burger King Corporation, that alleges 86 Burger King restaurants in California have – or have had any time since October 2006 – barriers to customers who use wheelchairs or scooters. Examples of these types of barriers include: narrow “queue lines,” doors that are too narrow or difficult to open; inaccessible restrooms, seating and parking; inaccessible condiments, napkins and other items; and other wheelchair or scooter access problems.

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