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Thread: News articles that should be in the Onion

  1. #11
    Member MacGuffin's Avatar
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    I still think that guy is an idiot.

  2. #12
    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Fight Breaks Out Two Seconds Into Hockey Game

    http://deadspin.com/flames-canucks-f...gam-1504407615

    Stay classy, Canada.

  3. #13
    The Pompatus of Love C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    As I read it, the visiting Flames' coach started the fight the moment he put his goon line on the ice to start the game. The Canucks' coach knew what was up.
    Your gardening sucks and your avocados ain't fruitin'. -- Sappho the Maestro

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    WOKE Catoptric's Avatar
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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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  7. #17
    No Thank You Blorg's Avatar
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    Abandoned Cruise Ship Full of Starving Rats Heads For Land

    "This gruesome gift from Canada is now expected to crash ashore in Ireland or the United Kingdom, dumping the plague ship's living cargo of cannibal rats onto the land."

  8. #18
    Senior Member skip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyng1 View Post
    Just to clarify, that's a particular subset of rural tribal Indians called the Santhal people. They make up 0.2% of Indians so they're not really representative of Indian men in general.

    Having said that, there was a similar incident in the rural (but not tribal) village where I used to live in northern India. Two teenagers from the village ran off together to her aunt in another village. People from the same village don't do that since they're likely related; you only marry someone from a different village, never your own.

    Everyone wanted the father of the girl to have both kids beaten to death. The father wisely sent one of his six brothers to do the deed. The girl was a favorite niece of this particular brother. He couldn't beat her so he just brought the kids back to the village, after walking them both through the forest where he told them to tell everyone he had beaten them, to save face.

    The girl was married off ASAP. I don't know what happened to the boy.
    Yes, I smell like a horse. No, I don't consider that a problem.

  9. #19
    The Pompatus of Love C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chobani View Post
    Abandoned Cruise Ship Full of Starving Rats Heads For Land

    "This gruesome gift from Canada is now expected to crash ashore in Ireland or the United Kingdom, dumping the plague ship's living cargo of cannibal rats onto the land."
    Sounds like a hazard to navigation as well as a biohazard. Can't some submarine have a live-fire torpedo exercise with the ship?
    Your gardening sucks and your avocados ain't fruitin'. -- Sappho the Maestro

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I still think that guy is an idiot.

    Seem like he already knew the war was over, and still didn't surrender.

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