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Thread: News articles that should be in the Onion

  1. #291
    The Pompatus of Love C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    The ambassador should have more kebab. That's British, right?
    Your gardening sucks and your avocados ain't fruitin'. -- Sappho the Maestro

  2. #292
    Member Bartender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.J.Woolf View Post
    The ambassador should have more kebab. That's British, right?
    It will be soon enough.

  3. #293
    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Wow; California becomes the second State to require paid sick leave. So progressive...

  4. #294
    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.J.Woolf View Post
    The ambassador should have more kebab. That's British, right?
    Only if you're drunk. If you're sober, curry is British.

    (Lamb kebab or lamb curry).

  5. #295
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Chicken vindaloo and lager. For when bubble and squeak loses it's charm.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

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  7. #297
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    ^^^The tenor of that article pisses me off to nigh irrational levels. There are now at least three more people I desperately want to concuss: Whomever is heading the Dallas Child Abuse unit, Dallas Police Major John Lawton, and Allan Elliot.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  8. #298
    long jacket Iina's Avatar
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    While India's girls are aborted, brides are wanted

    Even for an employed schoolteacher like Narinder, it is hard to find a bride these days.

    Narinder is a shy, slender 36-year old with a certain anxiety about him -- as if he has resigned to a fate that he is unable to change. He is very polite and at first, reluctant to talk about his situation.

    Narinder is one of four sons and only one of his brothers has managed to get married. In his district in the state of Uttar Pradesh, there are only 858 girls born for every 1,000 boys, a ratio that doesn't occur naturally without medical intervention. The northwestern state of Uttar Pradesh is home to one of the largest skewed sex ratios in India.

    "Only the rich and men with government jobs manage to get a bride these days," he says. "Anyone who earns less cannot find a bride here anymore."

    A new bride would help his parents, he says. "They would have had an easier life. They would have had someone to cook and to take care of them."

    She should clean. She should run the household. She should bear children. And Narinder plans to share her with his two unmarried brothers, who live in the same house.
    But how come the one brother who managed to find a bride won't share her?

    Decades of sex-selective abortion have created an acute lack of women in certain parts of India. Traffickers capitalize on the shortage by recruiting or kidnapping women ensnared in poverty to sell as brides.

  9. #299
    Senior Member Linnea's Avatar
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  10. #300
    long jacket Iina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Linnea View Post
    Because if it's one thing Vietnam needs more of it's human trafficking.

    Maybe the parents aborting all these girls, like Narinder's with the 4 boys, should teach their sons how to cook and clean and take care of them if they'll want a maid duties covered later on. That and the wonders and joys of homosex, since they lack women for the maid/sex slave positions. These geniuses are still out of luck with that uterus thing, though.
    Last edited by Iina; 09-04-2014 at 11:53 PM. Reason: Slab Bulkhead

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