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Thread: INTP men attracted to bipolar women?

  1. #1
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    INTP men attracted to bipolar or borderline personality disorder women?

    This has happened to me a couple times and in researching bipolar disorders and with my interest in MBTI, I found other instances of INTP men attracted, sometimes disablingly so, to bipolar and borderline personality disorder (BPD) women.

    The attraction is that it is fascinating to observe and analyze and try to understand and model their mood swings. What will trigger the mania high -- sometimes involving acrobatic sex? and what will trigger the unpleasant, but still intriguing, moody depressions? And how to resolve the latter? And perhaps even cure them? Of course that requires an analytic model of their mental and behavioral life for which there is no greater pastime for INTPs.

    What type is the bipolar? I don't know -- I think the mania is probably ENFJ; while the depression is I?FP.

    The mania mood is especially appealing because it so extreme as to be enchanting and bewitching and transformative for an INTP.

    The depressive mood is the puzzle to be solved to bring back the rewarding mania. The depression is a most interesting and rewarding challenge to model and fix.

    Have others experienced this?

    edit to add reference to Borderline Personality Disorder -- BPD -- which is similar but the mood swings are generally shorter often with environmental triggers -- also more serious
    Last edited by verily; 01-10-2017 at 11:42 AM.

  2. #2
    fluff2fluff GnarlFox's Avatar
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    Yeah. It sucks. I like the insanity of it because there is this intensity and spontaneity, but the lack of consistency drives me away. I'm pretty good at picking it up now so I can easily avoid it.

    I tend to hear a lot of, "We'd be compatible because we're both mentally ill," from a lot of bipolar women. I think its about as good a reason as becoming best buds because you both smoke weed, or drink. It's damn alluring but feels like an addiction.
    Last edited by GnarlFox; 09-21-2016 at 07:55 PM.
    The idea is quite.

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    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Are you saying that INTP men like fixing things?
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    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Are you saying that INTP men like fixing things?
    You don't need the qualifier. But then, some might say the OP didn't need the adjective.
    For some, "how", not "why", is the fundamental unit of measure for curiosity. This divergence is neither parallel, nor straight. Where one might have a "why?-5" problem, it might only be a "how?-2" question. But then, there are also many things where the "why?" is immediately obvious but the "how?" is best measured in centuries of perpetual wonder. Both approaches have their drawbacks.

    If one is superior, the other is unaware of it.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  5. #5
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Geez. I wonder what kind of fate awaits those of us who are perfect.
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    Jazz peenist Snake Champion Grape Jelly's Avatar
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    A bipolar may posess an intellectual side an INTP might mesh with, but craziness this INTP won't mess with. I had a good ENFP bipolar friend once. We had good talks. I even read the book an unquiet mind. So yes, I would say an INTP would be drawn to a bipolar on that level. Though, the manic aspect might be a downfall. Even indulging in fluffy playfulness makes me feel remorse sometimes. ESFPs for example.
    Sound fury

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    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    i dated a bipolar woman once upon a time... i'm not really sure what to tell you about it... she was really fun most of the time, but of course there were times when she wasn't... i dated another that i suspected was bipolar, and fooled around with another girl who was bipolar (but that last one never turned serious)...

    so yeah, there May be something to that...

    post script:

    i guess there is on more who actually was bipolar that i didn't think of as i wrote this (am only including those with a diagnosis as actually having it)...
    Last edited by Obfuscate; 09-22-2016 at 02:41 PM.
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
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    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
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    Senior Member Spartan26's Avatar
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    I don't know I was specifically drawn towards any bipolar characteristic or trait. I've had some attracted to me. By that I mean they showed more interest in me, maybe not even romantically at first, and that got the ball rolling. I think they liked how rational and level headed I was. They wanted that calm. I liked that they trust me. I really liked that a lot. I would sometimes be a bit skeptical or suspicious, like I was being used. She would dump everything out but what would I get in return? Not that I needed something back for everything I put out but it's easy to have relationships fall out of balance. I guess it was enjoyable to have them around during manic time, if they're not upset over something, but the withdrawal was equally as hard. I'd prolly lie to myself in dating another but ultimately it's really not something I'm drawn too or would try to date around if possible.

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    important difference between bipolar and borderline personality disorder, but both might be similarly attractive to INTPs

  10. #10
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    This might make more sense as at least two different topics - 1. are men attracted to bipolar women, 2. are INTPs attracted to bipolar people, and if you want to be diplomatic you could rearrange the question in a variety of other ways.

    1. idk, some probably, it was men who invented manic pixie dream girls, right?
    2. yeah, I think they tend to be. My INTP ex (like many INTPs) dealt with feelings of isolation and alienation. I think that mentally ill people are prone to those feelings as well, and more likely to be able to empathize with them (not to mention that isolation and alienation can aggravate bipolar and other disorders, in that vicious circley way).

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