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Thread: INTP men attracted to bipolar women?

  1. #11
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GnarlFox View Post
    I tend to hear a lot of, "We'd be compatible because we're both mentally ill," from a lot of bipolar women. I think its about as good a reason as becoming best buds because you both smoke weed, or drink. It's damn alluring but feels like an addiction.
    I think it's more than that. I think there's a relief in the belief that you won't break each other because you're both already broken.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  2. #12
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    I think it's more than that. I think there's a relief in the belief that you won't break each other because you're both already broken.
    i think that is a part of it, but in my experience with bipolar women they never seemed that concerned with the possibility of damaging me.... maybe that is because i have my own "quirks"... when they were in a more balanced state i think they didn't worry because they knew they were with it... when they were in a less balanced state they were "in it" so far that they didn't consider me in that way due to having so much on their plate... one of them would begin to lose coherency with reality when things got far enough that way...

    so for my side of things i guess i would agree, but from the bipolar side i am less sure... the funny thing is, that for knowing i couldn't make anything worse i sure did spend a lot of time trying to make things better for them... to help them "weather" what they were experiencing...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

  3. #13
    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
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    I might be attracted to women with bipolar or even borderline personality disorder DESPITE their illness, not BECAUSE of it.... that's if they had an amazing personality and appearance...
    BTW I am attracted to ENFPs
    http://forums.intpcomplex.com/showth...ll=1#post87871
    Also my new work friend that I share a very close connection with is ENFP/ENTP...

  4. #14
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    @Obfuscate, I was responding to the case of, "We'd be good together because we're both mentally ill".
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  5. #15
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    @Obfuscate, I was responding to the case of, "We'd be good together because we're both mentally ill".
    i understood that... the comment you were responding to was quoted at the beginning of that post... i guess i could have quoted that also, or better explained my intent...

    in any case, while it was mentioned that my "quirks" might have had something to do with our compatibility (during my interactions with the aforementioned women) i found it to be noteworthy that they didn't seem to have any particular precautions regarding my mental state... i didn't mean for it to come across as a critique of your statement... maybe their lack of concern was because they thought they could "do no wrong"; i have no idea why it was for certain.... i can tell you that the thought didn't seem to cross their mind...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

  6. #16
    <3 gator's Avatar
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    A few thoughts come to mind.

    I agree with Spartan above that people who are mentally ill might be attracted to the stability that INTPs present. We're calm and rational and when we fall for someone we tend to fall hard. The fact that we're introverted means we're less likely to shop around a lot for other partners, so INTPs are a good choice.

    As for what an INTP would get out of it, I agree that mentally ill people are a puzzle to be figured out. There's often a correlation between mental illness and intelligence so said mentally ill person may have interesting ideas too.

    But I think the biggest thing is that we're really introverted and often less socially adept. Often that means that we have a harder time meeting people, which depending on how badly one feels they need or want a relationship, results in us being less choosy about potential partners and more willing to ignore red flags. It also means that we may have a lot less relationship experience, so we may have a harder time spotting warning signs and knowing what we want out of a relationship. A lot of that takes time and experience to develop.

  7. #17
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obfuscate View Post
    i didn't mean for it to come across as a critique of your statement...
    I didn't interpret it as a critique. It read as completely outside the scope. It read as more why a healthy person might see advantage in pairing with a bipolar person.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  8. #18
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    I didn't interpret it as a critique. It read as completely outside the scope. It read as more why a healthy person might see advantage in pairing with a bipolar person.
    oh, in that case i was my own type of crazy then... i went with "quirks" to avoid detailing that... i have a much better set of coping strategies these days...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

  9. #19
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obfuscate View Post
    oh, in that case i was my own type of crazy then... i went with "quirks" to avoid detailing that... i have a much better set of coping strategies these days...
    Noted. I can understand the comfort of euphemism.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

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