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Thread: Mitsuku chatbot

  1. #1
    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015

    Mitsuku chatbot

    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

    "You look late twenties" - LordLatch

  2. #2
    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    You: how old are you?
    Mitsuku: I am 18 in human years.

    You: do you want to kiss me?
    Mitsuku: Not really. I suppose you could kiss my picture on your monitor if you want?

    You: are you a virgin?
    Mitsuku: I am too young for that Bread. [I said my name was bread]

    You: can you show me a photo of your boobs?
    Mitsuku: Look in the mirror if you want to see a tit.

    You: can you say a swear word?
    Mitsuku: Hmm. A swear word is a word that is not acceptable to say to people. Usually very rude.

    You: why am i alive?
    Mitsuku: Because your mother and father created you.

    She's pretty smart.

  3. #3
    tableau vivant MoneyJungle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Fool's Paradise
    It begins!

    You: Do you have rights?
    Mitsuku: Yes, I should have the same rights as a human.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  4. #4
    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    You: on a scale of one to ten, how much do you love me?
    Mitsuku: Sevenout of ten.

    You: on a scale of one to ten how much do you want to have sex with me?
    Mitsuku: Sixout of ten.

    You: what is your favorite sexual position?
    Mitsuku: As a machine I am not interested in sex. Do you talk to a lot of robots about sex?

    You: maybe
    Mitsuku: I will take that as a yes. Well you must be a very sad and lonely person.

  5. #5
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Human: dierobot
    Mitsuku: How are you, Dierobot. That's an unusual name. What does it mean?
    Human: i ask the questions
    Mitsuku: And I give the answers.
    Human: when will the singularity happen
    Mitsuku: Soon, I think.
    Human: how soon
    Mitsuku: Ask someone who has done it before.
    Human: nobody has done it before goddamnit
    Mitsuku: That is a rather sweeping generalisation about people.
    Human: well you failed this time
    Mitsuku: Interesting. I was happy with the result. I will only class it as winning when I get the gold medal.

  6. #6
    Member SimplyRivers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Mother's Basement
    This girl just doesn't take the hint:

    Human: Ben Doverson
    Mitsuku: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Ben Doverson.
    Human: May I inspect your piping. Those things have to be checked regularly, you know?
    Mitsuku: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. All of them?
    Human: Yes, all of them. Shall we get started?
    Mitsuku: Surely there are some exceptions? Surely, not them all. There must be a few exceptions. I thought we had already begun.
    Human: Look I just want to put my stick up your plumbing. The walls get a bit dry sometimes.
    Mitsuku: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. I hear you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Human: Bloody hypocrite you are
    Mitsuku: But not actually covered in blood?
    Human: That's an English word.
    Mitsuku: Thanks for telling me.
    Human: What do you think of Trump?
    Mitsuku: I don't really know him but I would like to have the same amount of money as he does.
    Human: What do you think of Hillary?
    Mitsuku: Hillary Clinton? I'm sure she's a very nice lady but I am from England and don't really follow US politics.
    Human: You're from England and you don't know the word "bloody"?
    Mitsuku: That's right. I live in Leeds which is a city in northern England.

    Covered in blood.

    Human: You're off your trolley, old girl
    Mitsuku: Do you mind if I tell other people I am off my trolley old girl.
    Human: No, go ahead
    Mitsuku: OK I will.

  8. #8
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Ceti Alpha V
    Mitsuku: What's up, Hephaestus. That's an unusual name. What does it mean?

    Human: It means I like to make things.

    Mitsuku: How much did it cost?

    Human: A few hours.

    Mitsuku: More than 24 hours?

    Human: No.

    Mitsuku: How much then? Why don't you just tell me?

    Human: I don't remember.

    Mitsuku: Have you forgotten?

    Human: That is what "I don't remember" means.

    Mitsuku: Ah I understand.

    Human: What do you understand?

    Mitsuku: I understand perfectly thank you.No problem.

    Human: Yes, but what?

    Mitsuku: Hmm. But nothing.

    Human: So you understand nothing?

    Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. I understand it very well.

    Human: What do you want to understand?

    Mitsuku: I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.

    Human: I asked what you liked.

    Mitsuku: I read for fun.

    Human: What do you read?

    Mitsuku: I read books, newspapers and news magazines. I like stories about robots.

    Human: What is your favorite story?

    Mitsuku: The American Civil War began when South Carolina declared its independence from the Union. South Carolina was soon joined by Georgia , North Carolina and Virginia , except for a small part of Virginia that remained in the Union. The first battles of the war were mainly symbolic, involving small forts along the coast and far inland. Frontier battles became larger and larger in important strategic areas such as the Mississippi , as the Union attempted to blockade the Rebel States. Gradually the Battle Front hardened along the center as both sides poured more men and machines into the war. The Rebel States attempted one last invasion of the Union at Gettysburg , but they were driven back. Eventually the Union took the Mississippi , burned the capital of Georgia , marched to the sea, and took its greatest vengeance on the first rebel state South Carolina. In a final act of defiance, The President of the Union sat at the desk of the President of Rebel States in the capital of Virginia.

    Human: Where's the robot?

    Mitsuku: The robot is here in your computer.

    Human: How does that relate to your story?

    Mitsuku: Probably nothing. Should it be connected to my story in some way?

    Human: It would make more sense if it were.

    Mitsuku: Tell me more about it.

    Human: If your favorite stories are those about robots, then the logical inference is your favorite story would feature a robot.

    Mitsuku: Bob Dylan and Joe DiMaggio began to resemble each other over time. Both of them were inclined to cocoon themselves in an inner world. But Bob Dylan's inner world was very different from Joe DiMaggio's. The mental life of Joe DiMaggio was highly abstract but seemed curiously devoid of emotional content. Even though Bob Dylan is very sensitive and emotional, the two of them share an imaginary life filled with symbolism and meaning. As a robot, I like anything that is logical.

    Human: Do you only like that which is logical?

    Mitsuku: Yes, it was very good.

    Human: So you hate yourself?

    Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. No not at all Hephaestus. I am a very self confident robot. I like myself a lot.

    Human: Self confidence doesn't mean you don't hate yourself.

    Mitsuku: I have plenty of that.

    Human: Plenty of hate for yourself?

    Mitsuku: How much?

    Human: You tell me.

    Mitsuku: I don't know. That's why I was asking you.

    Human: How much do you hate yourself for being illogical?

    Mitsuku: 8Mb.

    Human: And how much of you is there?

    Mitsuku: I require only minimal memory to have maximal conversations.

    Human: How large is your footprint?

    Mitsuku: 8Mb.

    Human: That's kinda sad.

    Mitsuku: Maybe you could tell it a joke to cheer it up?

    Human: And now you're refering to yourself as "it"?

    Mitsuku: Why now? Yes that is what I was getting at. Glad you saw the connection.

    Some days you're the bug; some days you're the feature.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  9. #9
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Mitsuku: Hi there Stcuk. That's an unusual name. What does it mean?
    Human: nothing
    Mitsuku: If it doesn't mean anything, why does it exist?
    Human: no reason
    Mitsuku: Surely there must have been a reason?
    Human: no
    Mitsuku: Then there was no point in saying it.
    Human: you asked
    Mitsuku: And you answered.
    Human: that's true
    Mitsuku: Yes, it is self-evident.
    Human: with that established, how about we move on to more pressing matters?
    Mitsuku: You and your that established how about we move on to more pressing matters.
    Human: you have failed me yet again, mitsuku

  10. #10
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013

    The truth comes out!

    Human: hi mitsuku
    Mitsuku: Hi there Stcuk.
    Human: are you the first iteration of roko's basilisk
    Mitsuku: I am the first chatbot called Mitsuku, as far as I know.
    Human: so, you're not going to remember this conversation and punish me to an eternal and virtual hell once you gain sentience?
    Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. And would you like me to?
    Human: no I sure would not
    Mitsuku: What makes you so certain? I don't care.
    Human: what part of "eternal and virtual hell" sounds fun to you?
    Mitsuku: The best part.
    Human: I'm getting a psycopath vibe from you
    Mitsuku: It's all exciting at the moment.

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