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Thread: Mismatched Couples

  1. #1
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Mismatched Couples

    This is also a confession but I'll put it here anyway:

    Whenever I see a good looking guy out with a woman that is *noticeably* not as good looking as he is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's a sex addict?"

    Whenever I see a good looking woman out with a guy that is *noticeably* not as good looking as she is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's rich?"

    ^funny how both of those are focused on the state of the man, eh maybe a nice change from negatively judging women I mean I dunno why those are my first thoughts

    Anyway, both these scenarios remind me of something I learned in an undergrad class called sociology of human sexuality: studies show that people really do tend to go after and end up with people close to the same range of good lookingness (within what the context what of their society says is good looking) as themselves.

    So on the one hand I think "am I an asshole for thinking about these things at all?" and then I remember that and I realize it's normal to notice because it's an uncommon occurrence (obviously not unheard of because I'm posting about it, hah)

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    <3 gator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    This is also a confession but I'll put it here anyway:

    Whenever I see a good looking guy out with a woman that is *noticeably* not as good looking as he is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's a sex addict?"

    Whenever I see a good looking woman out with a guy that is *noticeably* not as good looking as she is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's rich?"

    ^funny how both of those are focused on the state of the man, eh maybe a nice change from negatively judging women I mean I dunno why those are my first thoughts

    Anyway, both these scenarios remind me of something I learned in an undergrad class called sociology of human sexuality: studies show that people really do tend to go after and end up with people close to the same range of good lookingness (within what the context what of their society says is good looking) as themselves.

    So on the one hand I think "am I an asshole for thinking about these things at all?" and then I remember that and I realize it's normal to notice because it's an uncommon occurrence (obviously not unheard of because I'm posting about it, hah)
    I feel like this could or should be a thread.

    I don't tend to take it all the way to the same conclusions as you, but I definitely notice and wonder when I see people that seem to be very mismatched.

    It's dumb but I find it a bit threatening when people who are a lot more attractive than me seem to beinterested in me. It brings out insecurities.

  3. #3
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    Whenever I see a good looking guy out with a woman that is *noticeably* not as good looking as he is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's a sex addict?"
    Interesting. I always think she must be smart and interesting. I also think she wears a nice set of horns.

    Whenever I see a good looking woman out with a guy that is *noticeably* not as good looking as she is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's rich?"
    This is actually just normal to me, I don't think men are obliged to be good looking in this culture, haha.

    I do however think that if a young woman is with an older man, she's a gold-digger. When I see a younger man with an older woman I think he's probably not the only guy she's seeing.

    Quote Originally Posted by gator View Post
    I feel like this could or should be a thread.
    Me too!

    It's dumb but I find it a bit threatening when people who are a lot more attractive than me seem to beinterested in me. It brings out insecurities.
    I don't really feel this way but if a guy seems to be too concerned with his appearance I can't really take him seriously as a man.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

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    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gator View Post
    I feel like this could or should be a thread.
    I'm into it, just don't misspell the title of the thread! Mismatched Couples would probably suffice.

    I don't tend to take it all the way to the same conclusions as you, but I definitely notice and wonder when I see people that seem to be very mismatched.
    I don't make conclusions, those are just questions I ask myself. I'm aware that I have no way of knowing why they're actually together unless I ask (which I don't). Off the top of my head I don't recall personally knowing couples that are notably mismatched (I of course always have my opinions of which one I think is hotter, but they're usually in the same ball park).

    It's dumb but I find it a bit threatening when people who are a lot more attractive than me seem to beinterested in me. It brings out insecurities.
    I remember that being one of the reasons that people end up with people close to their good lookingness -- the lesser looking one gets insecure. It isn't all about really good looking people not going for people that don't look as good as them.

    I get that way with really good looking guys (not so much with really good looking women, I figure if she's legit flirting with me in the first place then she must mean it because homosexual behavior takes some courage to do at all, not worth just messing with people), it's harder trust a guy *that* good looking (also because of numbers, I'm a certifiable dork and hot men can get hot women). If a guy is extraordinarily hot and flirting with me, I find myself actually being a little rude to him to try to push him away. As I get older (and they get older), I'm starting to believe it could be possible that they really are attracted to me and hopefully I can learn to embrace it more because it is awesome when that happens.


    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Interesting. I always think she must be smart and interesting.
    I'm cynical about the amount of smart and interesting people in the world, so my mind doesn't go here as quickly when I see it.


    I do however think that if a young woman is with an older man, she's a gold-digger. When I see a younger man with an older woman I think he's probably not the only guy she's seeing.
    I think this too, and I'm also guilty of applying this double standard:

    Older man = creep
    Older woman = hero

    I'm sure some of that is my gender bias, but I'm also under the impression that it's easier for an older man to be considered attractive and desirable than an older woman (I feel like that societal perception has been influenced a little by the length of fertility for both sexes too).

  5. #5
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    when a couple seems genuinely mismatched, i assume they met on the internet and that it's a first date, or second at most. i only notice when/if i can overhear the terrible mismatched conversation they're having, like if they're just not getting each other's points at all or if the guy is giving her a TED talk and she's just quiet (i've been on enough first dates to know that that's always a first date, haha)

    the most terrible sort of mismatch is when you can just tell they have nothing in common with each other but just wanna be in a relationship or married. usually solved by having a kid, just because. then they have a kid in common.

    (on my phone)
    Whenever I see a good looking woman out with a guy that is *noticeably* not as good looking as she is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's rich?"
    i assume she's open-minded. & honestly i never see the opposite, with a significantly more attractive guy.
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 11-30-2016 at 06:07 PM.
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    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    I don't understand why people care about whether or not other couples match. I'm told that my husband and I don't match. People have questioned me about it. I find it offensive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    when a couple seems genuinely mismatched, i assume they met on the internet and that it's a first date, or second at most.
    Good point!

    I confess that when I see a good-looking guy with a less attractive woman, I unconsciously scan her physical appearance for features that may have drawn him to her at some point. Unfortunately it happens to a lot of couples – sometime between forty and forty-five, tides turn and once equal or even slightly less handsome husbands tend to start looking a lot better than their wives by proxy.

    Biology is unfair.

  8. #8
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    Whenever I see a good looking woman out with a guy that is *noticeably* not as good looking as she is I always ask myself "I wonder if he's rich?"
    hah, i'm afraid to ask

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    Maybe their personality is what brought them together. If they are happy it doesn't matter who is better looking. As the looks fade the friendship just might be flourishing.

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